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And when I started workin’ fer Ronan, I got in deep. My focus was solely on keepin’ my name out of his mouth, so he didn’t tell the police about my actions. And that’s when I befriended Cormie. We became as close as brothers. But there was never any loyalty between us. I learned that the life of a gang member was nothin’ more than a waitin’ game to when you die.

Every illegal thing I did was another strike against my name. I waited fer the feckin’ Reaper ta come fer me. Deep down, I wanted him ta take me away. But he never did, and I realized I had ta make the choice to walk away, or live a life I hated.

There was even a time I considered leavin’ the country, but I knew I was never goin’ta be able to live anywhere else. Ireland was in my blood, and Belfast was a part of me, one I was never goin’ta get out of my system. And I didn’t want rid of it. All I wanted was a fresh start. That’s what Monster gave me.

“My Da wants to know if you’d be willin’ ta help us out with somethin’.” He offers me a grin that isn’t at all friendly.

Cormac McCallum is not a good’un. He’s a feckin’ bastard who’ll kill anythin’ as long he’s followin’ orders. Since joinin’ the IRA, he doesn’t give a shite about the lives he’s stealin’. He takes after his da, Ronan, walkin’ in the shoes of the men who tore this country apart.

There are so many things I don’t know about him anymore. When we were mates, we told each other everythin’, things have changed. And if I had to be honest with myself, I prefer it that way. If I agree to help him, he might learn to trust me again, but I won’t. I’m not goin’ back ta that life.

The idea of havin’ta answer ta Ronan again makes me feel sick to my stomach. I may have helped him out with jobs in the past, but I’m not the same person anymore. When Monster gave me a place to belong, I turned my life around. Granted, I still do shite fer the club, cleanin’ up after the interrogations we do, but I no longer deal in illegal shite. No drugs, no guns. And it’s a part of my life I don’t want to remember.

“Not anytime soon. I’m busy, wee man,” I tell him. “I don’t have the time or the resources ta get back into that.” I’m hopin’ that’s the end of it. All I need right now is a drink and ta see my wee woman. But I know he isn’t goin’ta let me walk away so easily.

“You know, me da helped ye when ye needed it,” he reminds me easily. I didn’t think he’d bring that up, but I’m also not surprised.

“Aye,” I tell him with a nod. “But times have changed. Things have moved on.” Even though I doubt the reminder will deter this arsehole, I can’t help but try.

He steps up to me, and I’m on full alert. I’m unarmed, and I’m pretty sure he’s carryin’ a knife or maybe somethin’ even more deadly. If it’s a blade, I can fend him off, but if he has a gun, I don’t stand a chance.

“I think ye should reconsider, Sully,” he tells me. The earnest tone of his voice doesn’t hide the malice hidin’ under the surface. It’s not him suggestin’ anythin’, it’s him informin’ me I don’t have a choice in the matter.

He took all I had to give, and when I finally walked away, I told him I’d never work fer him again. What I did fer Ronan was over when I finally found a home with the club. When I agreed to obey McCallum, I was a wee boy, fourteen, but five years later, I knew I had to get out. I’d seen too many of my mates lying dead in the streets. Violence had become second nature. I didn’t want that fer myself.

Monster doesn’t know about what happened. None of the brothers knows. And I don’t know if I can ever tell any of them why I left home at fourteen. Ma didn’t want me around. She was angry with me fer what I’d done. Not because that bastard was dead, but she hated that I had given my life to Ronan by killin’ Conall.

“Aye, well then, I suppose I don’t have a choice in the matter,” I tell Cormac. “What is it yer needin’?”

“Word around town is there’s an undercover agent workin’ with the police,” he tells me. “Apparently it’s a wee lass who’s tryin’ta suss out where the mob is hidin’ Bragan.”

I almost laugh at how stupid that sounds. There have been many battles between the mob and the coppers, and nothin’ ever came of it but death. Why would an agent be interested in comin’ all the way over here ta take down the Irish mob?

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