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“Aye, ye say that now, but I need ye ta know me. I want ye ta learn who I really am. And the only way ta do that is by tellin’ ye the whole story. Everythin’. Even the darkest of shite.”
Clover sighs, but she nods slowly. “Fine. We’ll sit down tonight, and you can tell me everything you need to. And I guess I’ll end up admitting a lot of my own truths as well.”
“I want that,” I tell her as I capture her hand in mine. There’s nothin’ I want more than ta have her be mine, fully. I sound like a feckin’ lovesick arsehole right now. Monster would have a feckin’ laugh if he were here listenin’ ta me. “This won’t work otherwise.”
“You know, Sully,” Clover says as she rounds the bar, the last customer havin’ left, and stops next to me. “For a big, bad biker, you’re a teddy bear when it comes to me.”
“Aye, there’s no doubt you make me weak, which is why I need ye ta know about my past. There are and will always be people comin’ fer me. Wantin’ to get somethin’ from me. And I need ye ta be aware of it. Belfast may be a beautiful city, but it’s a feckin’ dangerous one.”
I help her clean up, grabbin’ glasses from the tables and wipin’ down surfaces. I flick the lights off, leavin’ us with only the small downlights illuminatin’ the bar.
“I’ve spent my life in dangerous situations, Sully,” Clover tells me when I’m once again settled on a stool watchin’ her pack the last few clean glasses onto the shelves.
“I want ye ta tell me all about that bastard,” I say to her because I need ta tell her what I asked Tye to do. “When I went to the club this mornin’, I spoke to Tye.”
“What? Why?” She knows who he is and what he does fer the club. There’s no hidin’. She’s pissed off at me.
“I want ta make sure ye’re never goin’ta have ta look over your shoulder again.” Even though I can tell she’s angry I went behind her back, she must realise it’s fer the best. She needs to be able to walk down the street without worryin’ about that arsehole comin’ after her.
“So you’re going to look for Rogan, and then what? Kill him?” Her question may be a joke, but the look in my eye must tell her how serious I am because she freezes. “Sully—”
“You can’t say anythin’ ta change my mind, Lucky,” I say to her. “The fecker will pay, and I’m goin’ta make sure ye’re there to see it. You have to know what this life entails, and you also need closure.”
“But killing someone isn’t on my list of things to do before I die.” Clover’s cheeky response makes me chuckle. “I’m serious.”
Even though I’m laughin’, I know she’s not goin’ta let this go. But she needs ta get her revenge. And I won’t stop until Clover is healed.
I may not be a hero, but I’ll make damn sure she’s saved.
SEVEN
CLOVER
I’m nervous.
That’s the understatement of the year. I didn’t expect Sully to want to talk, but I also want nothing more than to learn about his past. I’ve only gotten glimpses. And I’m sure those didn’t fully explain what he’s been through. I also want to tell him everything about my past. Even though he knows more or less what happened, there are things I have kept to myself. There are horrors I faced that I’m not entirely sure I’m strong enough to share.
But, if I’m planning on going to therapy, I need to dive right into those dark abusive parts of my life and make sure I’m able to revisit those memories and heal from them. I want to move forward with Sully. The future is us together, and I don’t want to jeopardize that by hiding things from him.
I’ve learned all too well that when you hide parts of yourself, you’re only hurting those who love you. And I’m sure Sully loves me. A man doesn’t plan to kill someone just because he wants to get into a woman’s pants.
Our feelings for are becoming clearer. But I do know there are things Sully hasn’t told me. He wants to hurt Rogan, probably kill him for hurting me, and I’m sure there is more to it. He must have a definitive reason as to why he’s so adamant, it can’t just be his feelings for me.
When we get into his apartment, he flicks on the lights, and the enormous lounge and kitchen area illuminates in a soft yellow glow. There’s a calmness to his home, and it feels safe to be here. I’ve not lived with another person in a while. When I left the rehab centre, I was on my own. And while it was good, there was always this hint of fear that held me hostage because I was convinced I’d be found.
