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I nod. “Yeah, he stood by Dad through a lot of shit that went down at the club. They were like brothers. And then, when I met Rogan, I thought life was going to change for the better. My sadness at losing Dad had eased up by then, and everything seemed to be improving. I was convinced I was in love, and that Rogan was good.”
“And there were no signs in the beginning,” Sully says with a slow nod of his head.
He must remember what his mother’s boyfriend was like. Men like Rogan and Conall don’t show their true colors until after you’re in too deep. Because if they do it too early, there’s still time to run.
I sit back, crossing my legs on the sofa while facing Sully. Before I continue, I finish my water and set the glass down on the floor.
It’s time to get real. “I moved in with him while I was studying. Things were going so well between us I thought there was no point in waiting. I didn’t want to delay what I believed was inevitable. I wanted a ring, a white picket fence, the whole lot.”
Sully sits quietly. I’m not sure how he feels about hearing that, but I need to be honest about what I was going through. My dreams about a happy ever after were always at the forefront of my mind. And Rogan was nice to me. He was attentive and caring.
“I thought I’d found a good man,” I continue. “He didn’t scream or shout. He didn’t even fight with me. There were no arguments in the beginning.”
“And ye fell in love,” Sully says then. “It’s understandable. When someone treats ye right, there’s no stoppin’ the heart from what it wants.” He takes my hand, but doesn’t make another move to pull me closer. And I’m thankful because I need the space to continue. I know if Sully took me in his arms right now, I couldn’t continue my story.
“I wanted to believe things were great, but looking back, I realize there were small signs. He would buy my clothes and tell me what looked good on me. When I was out with friends, he would message and call constantly, asking where I was. At the start, I truly believed it was innocent concern.”
When I recall all those moments I thought he was being a loving boyfriend, I can now see how he was trying to control every aspect of my life.
“I’d given up studying, not long after I moved in with him, but then I landed an internship at a local company. I was going to learn about art and curation, a deviation from my dream of a tattoo parlor, but it would have paid more. I was earning a good salary, and I was finally at ease with everything. Darius was running the club, so I didn’t need to go back and be the princess everyone expected me to be. It wasn’t something I could have faced.”
“And that’s when he turned?” Sully stares at me. The concern on his face is palpable. With those dark eyes boring into me, I know I need to dive in now, headfirst.
I nod. “Yeah, he didn’t like that I was working, that I had male co-workers. Nothing made him happy. I would get home from work and make dinner. I would do anything he wanted. And then one night, after a late evening at work, I came home to him smashing every plate and cup we had. I wasn’t sure what happened, but the moment I walked into the apartment, he was on me. His hand around my throat—”
I stop for a moment, needing to breathe. The memory floods my mind, and there’s nothing I can do but lose myself to it. The pain of his fingers is still so real, it’s as if he’s here, holding me against the wall.
“I’m here,” Sully soothes with a gentle squeeze of my hand. “Open yer eyes. Look at me.” His words sink deep into my chest, and I force my lashes to flutter open.
“He pinned me against the wall,” I choke out as I remember. “He was in my face, anger raging through him like an inferno.”
I can tell from the way Sully’s eyes flick left and right that he’s trying to tamp down his own anger. But it’s not directed at me. He’s livid at what Rogan did to me.
“I tried to explain that I’d been working late, but he didn’t hear me. It was as if he was possessed. Like an entity had taken over his body. He choked me until I was almost passing out, and then he threw me to the ground. And…”
I look away before I push to my feet and head to the window. The floor to ceiling view of Belfast sits before me as I stare out at the twinkling lights. The tears I’ve been fighting escape, and they trickle down my cheeks.
