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“Fair enough,” I tell her. “I’ve walked away from ye before, though,” I continue. “And I don’t know if I want ta do it again.”
Clover offers me a gentle smile, one that makes her eyes sparkle when she looks at me. “You’re a good person,” she tells me. “And I believe that happiness will find you. There are so many things we’ve been through, and I’m thankful I found you.”
“And you’re still goin’ta leave,” I throw back as frustration takes over. I shouldn’t allow myself ta be angry. My feckin’ feelin’s are all over the place.
“It doesn’t have to be forever,” she says softly. “We need some space.” She’s right, but I don’t want ta admit it. “I didn’t want to lie to you, to hide anything from you.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I tell her as I pull her into my arms. It’s the first time since the hospital I’ve touched her. And it feels good to have her in my arms again. “I respect your decision. I don’t have ta like it, though.”
“I know,” Clover mumbles into my chest, but she snuggles herself in and holds onto me as if I’m a lifeline and she’s drownin’. “It’s not forever.”
“It’s not,” I agree. “Because I will come fer ye when I can.” It’s a promise I make as I lead her down to the SUV.
I couldn’t take her on the bike with her luggage, so I borrowed the vehicle from the club. I have to head back after droppin’ Clover at the airport and talk ta Monster. I’m not entirely sure what he’s goin’ta say ta me, but I’m hopin’ he’s not goin’ta hate Clover fer what she did.
The drive is filled with silence as we make our way through the city and towards the airport. With every mile, the more my anxiety twists in my gut. At least I know that when Clover gets home, she won’t have to worry about that bastard Rogan bein’ there, waitin’ fer her.
Pullin’ into the airport parkin’ garage, I kill the engine and sit back. There’s time before her flight takes off, so I don’t move until I know what I want ta say.
“I’ve been angry,” I tell her then, but I don’t look at her. I keep my stare on the windscreen in front of me. “When I knew you lied, hid somethin’ from me, it hit me harder than I expected. I didn’t think I could ever feel this with anyone. But now you’re leavin’, I can tell ye fer sure. I’m in love with ye.”
Silence greets me, but I don’t expect her to say anythin’. I needed her ta know I’m not someone who’s goin’ta walk away from her, and I’m not goin’ta just accept her decision as final. We may need time to fix shite, but there’s no chance I’m goin’ta lose her forever.
“When ye’re ready,” I continue. “I want ye to call me. Tell me how ye’re feelin’. I want to know how ye’re doin’. I want ta be the first person ye call on when ye’re ready to live again because I want us to be together.”
Clover shifts in her seat, and I glance over at her. She’s lookin’ at me with those pretty eyes, and I know I’m goin’ta miss them. She has this silent softness in her stare that makes me feel like a feckin’ hero. Even though I know I’m not. Far from it. But Clover looks at me like I’m the man she loves.
We get out of the car and head into the building, and I realise this is it. I’m goin’ta have ta say goodbye ta her. There are people waitin’ on their flight numbers gettin’ called, and I want to tell Clover I’m goin’ with her. But I can’t. She needs ta do this, and I can’t stop her. There’s nothin’ I can do to keep her here, short of feckin’ tyin’ her ta my bed.
When we reach her gate, I wait with her in silence. There’s nothin’ I can say to her now. I’ve told her I love her. And it wasn’t a lie. It’s the first time I’ve said it to someone in a long feckin’ time.
It’s been a lifetime since I offered my heart to anyone. When I was in school, I thought I loved someone. But it was nothin’ more than a teenage crush. I didn’t know what genuine love was back then. All the women since have been one-night stands. They’ve meant nothin’ ta me. But when Clover walked into my life, shite changed. She feckin’ changed me.
“I have to go,” Clover whispers softly, and I look down at her.
Her gate and flight number are bein’ called. Once she walks through those doors, I won’t see her again. I won’t wake up ta her, and I won’t be fallin’ asleep beside her. The idea of losin’ her makes my gut churn. I don’t like it. But I know it’s fer the best. Fer now.
