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I can’t help but giggle, thinking about him kissing me. I’m only fifteen, and he must be at least twenty-five. That’s a big difference. A man like him would never wait for a girl like me. That only happens in movies.
My life is no movie.
THREE
SULLY
The Present
She’s naked in my bed, looking at me as if she’s about to cry. It isn’t stoppin’ the beast from roarin’ inside me. It wants out, it needs to know what the fuck this girl has gotten herself into. “What is it, Clover? Ye can tell me anythin’, ye know that by now.”
“He’s going to come for me, and he’s going to kill me.” Her words slowly sink into my soul. The fact that I’m already breakin’ all my rules for her doesn’t mean I can fight just how she makes me feel. It’s wrong to want her as much as I do. It’s feckin’ bollocks to crave her like I do.
I’m not a gentle person, not by any means, but with her, I’m goin’ta have ta be. “What are ye talkin’ about?”
“Do you remember me?” Her voice is a whisper of worry and pain. I want ta take all of that away and give her the happiness I know she deserves.
Before she can admit anythin’ ta me, I say, “I know who you are, wee thing. I remember.”
I don’t think she expected me to confess ta that, because her eyes widen as she looks at me. If I had ta be honest, I didn’t think I’d be tellin’ her that either.
I’m now unsure of what ta say to her. Lookin’ at Clover, I realise I’ve been blind all the time we’ve been together. But she looks so different from the young girl I met all those years ago. She’s grown up, and her body’s now a colourful canvas, rather than the smooth, porcelain skin I remember. Her tattoos may hide the scars of her past, but I see right through the ink. She can’t hide from me.
“My ex,” Clover mumbles. “He’s going to come for me. And I’m not sure what to do alone.” The fear in her tone, the break in her words as her voice cracks causes my chest ta tighten.
“Why didn’t ye tell me when we were in that shitehole of a place?” I ask her.
When I first saw her sitting in the rehab centre, I didn’t think anythin’ of it. She was merely a pretty stranger ta me. But now I know who she is. Now that I’m lookin’ at her, I can’t believe she’s real. All grown up. And there had to be a reason fer her to be in the rehab clinic, there had to be.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Clover whispers as she shakes her head. “I didn’t think I would ever need to tell you,” she says before turnin’ her gaze away from me. “I was struggling with addiction, taking painkillers when I didn’t really need them. My past…” She shakes her head before she continues, “It’s littered with violence, and I used to drown out the agony with pills.”
“Tell me about him. I want ta know about that arsehole, I want a name,” I order her, but I keep my voice low. I don’t want ta scare her, but I want nothin’ more than to force her ta look at me. I don’t like the idea of her hurtin’, but I know my life will only put her in more danger. The club life isn’t fer her. She grew up inside a club, so she knows the dangers it brings.
“Rogan Hudson, but I know he used to use a different last name when he did jobs for the gangs he worked for, but that is something I was never privy to,” she whispers, the tremble in her voice is enough to confirm she’s afraid. “He’s not a good person. And I have no doubt he will find me. He was the one who put me in hospital. I ran when I could, and I never wanted to look back. But I’m sure this is the calm before the storm.”
“Ye shoulda left and never told me, darlin’,” I inform her as I push away from the bed. “It’s not safe fer ye with me, this world…” I look toward the window, not wantin’ ta see the heartbreak in her expression at my words. “And the idea of someone hurtin’ ye,” I murmur. “That doesn’t sit well with me.”
I don’t know if I can stop myself from claimin’ her. Now I know who she is, the girl from all those years ago, but I know I can’t taint her life with mine.
“Are you saying you want me to leave?” Dejection laces her words, her voice tight with annoyance and broken with sadness, and I don’t feckin’ blame her.
I can’t face her, so I move to the window and look out over the city. The old warehouse where I live was turned into flats a long while ago. The moment I saw this place I knew I could find solace here.
