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Our bedroom.
I still can’t wrap my head around it. I haven’t slept a single night on that couch since that first one. I fall asleep with him against me, usually with our chests still heaving and sweat on my skin every night. I look forward to our alone time together. I don’t find myself hoping he goes to sleep before I go to bed. I don’t wish things were different.
I know it’s still early in the relationship, but what I feel for the man grows daily rather than waning.
“What’s that one?” I ask Ryder, but when I look down at his plate, I don’t have to guess.
This pancake actually looks like a dinosaur. Brent ordered supplies online and has watched countless videos on pancake making of all things.
I’ve come home from work more than once to the house smelling like them. We haven’t been eating pancakes every night, so it led me to telling him that he’s being wasteful. I can appreciate that he’s trying to impress Ryder, but he shouldn’t throw them in the trash.
He explained that some of the Cerberus guys have come to visit, and they chow down on them. I’ve yet to ask if Rivet has been here because it hasn’t felt necessary. I’ve seen the way he looks at her, and it doesn’t even compare to the way he looks at me. Jealousy would just be misplaced where Brent is concerned, so I don’t waste my energy on it. It’s one of the huge differences between him and Travis. My jealousy didn’t last long with my ex either but that was because I gave up on him rather quickly. If I wasn’t worth fighting his addiction, then Travis’s affection wasn’t worth fighting for either.
“Do I get a stegosaurus, too?” I ask as I sit down at the dining room table.
“It’s a brontosaurus, Mommy,” Ryder says just as Brent places a plate in front of me.
My eyes burn with the threat of tears when I look down at the heart on my plate. He presses a kiss to my forehead before walking back to the stove. I can’t figure out what I’ve done to deserve this man, but I’m not willing to give it up. I just have to pray that fate doesn’t realize its mistake and take him from me.
Breakfast is perfect, the food and the conversation. We discuss plans for the weekend since it will be Ryder’s last one before kindergarten starts on Monday.
Today is Friday, his very last day in daycare, and I find myself a little sad that he’s growing up.
“Brush your teeth,” I tell him after he puts his plate in the sink.
Brent takes mine before I can do the same, and I know he’s in a way rushing me. We have a routine in the mornings.
I head down the hallway, slower than normal, and he doesn’t miss a beat, walking up behind me and pulling me into the bedroom.
His kiss is syrupy sweet against my lips, and I live for these couple of minutes we get to steal each morning. He rolls his hips against me, a promise of what I can look forward to tonight. As much as it tortures me throughout the day, the anticipation also provides the strength I need to keep trucking along at a job I’m slowly starting to hate. It isn’t the residents there but others on the staff who I wish I could avoid. Rachel has been especially insufferable, and it’s even worse now that she’s started working the day shift.
The kiss is so passionate, so perfect, I just want to spend the day with him nipping at my lips.
I jerk when Ryder clears his throat in an exaggerated a-hem type of way.
“Do you need more breakfast, Brent?”
“I got plenty, little buddy,” he responds, taking a step back and keeping his body angled, probably in an effort not to have to explain the erection.
“Then why are you trying to eat Mommy’s face?”
Chapter 38
Bishop
The weekend was fantastic, but the drive back yesterday from the impromptu trip to Santa Fe could’ve gone better.
I’m not complaining about the hotel room with double beds, where I had to spend two nights a little jealous that Sunshine was in the bed with Ryder rather than me, though it did sort of suck.
It was the blowout on the way back and the frustration of waiting for a towing service to change the tire because Sunshine didn’t have a spare. The heat made it miserable.
No one was in a good mood when we got home late yesterday evening.
To make matters worse, the frustrations of yesterday carried over into this morning which was doubly bad because it’s the first day of school.
I tried not to show my irritation that Sunshine didn’t offer to let me tag along with them. I don’t know if I even have a right to the anger I felt at missing this milestone. I’m not used to getting my feelings hurt that easily, but I’ve been salty about it since this morning. Granted, she had to rush to work, a place I know she’s growing to hate, right after she took him, and it didn’t make much sense to use even more time bringing me back here.
