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“If only you were so determined to bond with her all those years ago . . . ”
“As I said, I was selfish back then. I didn’t make her my priority. I regret that more than you can ever know.”
“I’m not so sure you do, or that you’d make her your priority now either,” Knox told him, echoing her thoughts. “From what I can see, your personal situation might have changed, but you haven’t. If you hadn’t seen her from afar not so long ago—”
“I still would have come for her,” Holt insisted.
“Maybe. But I fail to understand why you seem to think that’s all that counts. It has no meaning for Larkin at all.”
“If I could just speak to her—”
“You’d try to manipulate her, just as you did when you returned home years ago without first bonding with her,” Knox finished, a distinct chill to his voice. “You thought she’d chase you. Back down. Make concessions. You thought that leaving would put you in a position of power in terms of negotiations. Only it didn’t, did it?”
Holt hesitated. “I expected her to contact me, yes. But my leaving wasn’t an attempt to manipulate her. My Prime called me home.”
“A Prime who intended to use her to learn all my private business. What did he promise you in return?”
“Nothing.” Holt paused. “He indirectly threatened to demote me if I failed to turn her loyalties.”
“And instead of protecting her from him by urging her to remain in my lair, where he couldn’t reach her, you did as he asked. In doing so, you tried using her to get what you wanted . . . just as he did.”
Exactly. Holt might claim to look down on his ex-Prime, but he was really no better than that power-hungry, people-using old bastard. He just didn’t seem to see it.
“It wasn’t like that,” Holt asserted, his voice hard-edged.
“Oh, that was exactly what it was like,” said Knox.
Silence fell, rubbing her impatient demon’s nerves raw.
“She could turn rogue without the bond,” Holt threw out. “I’m her one chance at ensuring that it never happens. Surely you’d like for her to have that assurance. You know as well as I do that her demon is bolder and stronger than most. So if you won’t try to facilitate a meeting as a favor to me, one Prime to another, at least do it for her. It’s in her best interests, and you know it. The sooner she and I hash things out, the sooner we can move forward. Dragging it out isn’t helping anyone, least of all her.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” There was another creak of leather, and she wondered if Knox had leaned forward in his seat. “You’re fighting a losing battle, Holt. She doesn’t want you. She doesn’t want the bond. Neither does her demon. Both would sooner live with the risk of turning rogue. That’s how badly you fucked up. There’s no fixing it, no going back.”
“If she and I could only have a proper conversation—”
“It would make no difference.”
“You don’t know that,” Holt clipped, his words thick with irritation. “Knox, she needs me.”
Larkin gaped. Needed him? What planet did he live on?
“No, Holt, she doesn’t,” Knox stated. “Plenty of demons never find or bond with their anchors, they deal with it and manage to still lead full lives. So will Larkin. Besides, she has a different sort of anchor. Not a psi-mate, but a person who steadies her and her demon in ways that only partners do.”
Larkin suspected that Knox only made the claim to poke at Holt. But in truth, Teague actually did give her that balance, just as Khloë did for Keenan, and Devon did for Tanner.
“Maybe that’s the case right now, but it won’t last much longer,” said Holt, a gritty quality to his voice. “Everything I’ve learned about Sullivan tells me that he’s never in it for the long haul. He prefers the sowing-of-oats lifestyle.”
“He may not have a good track record where relationships are concerned, but he isn’t a man who struggles with commitment,” said Knox. “He’s fully committed to the people in his life who are important to him, including his own anchor—one to whom he is also utterly loyal and incredibly protective of. You know, you could learn a few things from Teague.”
Larkin felt her lips tip up, knowing Holt wouldn’t have taken the latter comment well.
“I didn’t come here to discuss the hellhorse,” said Holt, curt. “No, you came here in the hope of gaining my support.
You thought that, what with you being a fellow Prime, I’d be inclined to play nice with you.” Knox paused. “I don’t play nice with people who hurt those who matter to me.” The words were delivered in a silky smooth tone but dripped with malice.
A heavy exhale sounded that vibrated with annoyance. “Then this was a waste of time.”
