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“You shouldn’t have had to either. No one should’ve, but life don’t really work that way. None of it was your fault.”
“In my brain I know that, but my heart doesn’t seem to want to catch up. But I think that’s normal. I think you probably blame yourself for stuff that’s not your fault either.”
I shrugged because fault was subjective. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Me too. I saw him the day before. Something seemed off, but I ignored it. Maybe if I said something, things would be different.”
The pain in his voice wrecked me. “It’s not your fault,” I said again.
Charles nodded. “You wanna talk about your brother?” he asked, and I shook my head. “Maybe another time.”
It meant the world to me that he didn’t push, almost made me want to open up and talk to him about it, but I couldn’t.
“I’m charming. I have a habit of getting my way. I bet you’re going to share with me one day, Brian.”
And for some reason, I didn’t doubt it. Something about him made me feel okay being me, like it was enough. I didn’t get it, but that didn’t make it less true. “Awfully full of yourself.”
“For good reason. And you’re sexy enough that you wouldn’t have trouble getting your way with me either.”
My cheeks heated, which prompted me to turn away so he didn’t see, and my pulse shot off like a startled horse.
“Sorry. I’m a flirt. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I really do respect your sexuality. If you want me to keep those thoughts to myself, just say so.”
The thing was, it didn’t make me uncomfortable. It made me feel all jittery and…alive? “You didn’t. And the food’s done. It might be ten o’clock, but I told ya I’d feed ya.”
Charles chuckled and stood. We got our food together, then sat at the firepit and ate. He talked about lots of things, and occasionally I started conversations too.
Time passed, but it didn’t seem to bother him, so I didn’t let it bother me either. The only time we went in the house was if one of us had to go to the bathroom and once when I rummaged around for mosquito repellent. When the fire started to die down, I added more wood.
Charles talked about vacations he’d taken and about his family, who clearly had a lot of money, but I never felt less than when I shared how little I’d left North Carolina in my lifetime. He didn’t seem to be the kind of guy who cared if people had less than him; we were both the same to Charles.
He talked about Emerson some more and Sammy Joe too. I respected the hell out of Charles for his loyalty to his friend. I understood what he was doing, that he was spending time with me because he saw I was lonely. Charles felt like he’d missed things with his brother, and that made him a better friend to Emerson, and now it was why we were friends at all. But again, that didn’t feel like a bad thing. It just showed what type of man he was. Plus, I could see he was enjoying himself with me, and that was an incredibly good feeling.
When the edges of the sky faded to gray before pink rose on the horizon, I knew I should’ve been more tired than I was, that this should have been stranger than it was too. We’d sat by the fire all night talking, and I didn’t want to stop. Why didn’t I want to stop?
“Sunrises in North Carolina are beautiful,” Charles said, his voice soft with amazement.
“Sunsets too.”
“Maybe next time we’ll watch that one. We missed it while we were playing,” he replied, the two of us taking in the oranges, pinks, and yellows. “I don’t make time to do things like this at home.”
“I guess we’re gonna have to change that while you’re here.” And I meant it.
He gave me a mischievous grin that fit well on his face. “Yeah, I guess we should…friend.”
“You’re all right,” I found myself teasing him.
“I’m fucking incredible, and I know it.”
Deep belly laughs vibrated through me. There wasn’t a person in my life I could imagine saying something like that. Maybe they would joke with someone else, but not with me. I liked that Charles hadn’t known me my whole life, hadn’t already decided who I was and how he should act around me. “Not shy, are ya?”
“Not a shy bone in my body.” He yawned, then stretched. “I should get some sleep before I head back over to Em and Sam’s today.”
Disappointment tied my gut in knots, but I tried to ignore it. Of course he was going to go home. We’d talked all night. Did I expect him to never leave? And why the hell would I want that?
