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“Can I come in?” I asked, and shit…had my voice trembled slightly? I was nervous. Jesus, something about this man made me feel all kinds of emotions.
He nodded and stepped aside. I went in, hearing the soft click of the door close behind me. It didn’t smell like he’d cooked, so I asked, “Did you have dinner?”
“No. Those for me?” He pointed to the flowers in my hand. I loved bringing them to him now.
“They are.”
“Thank you.” Brian took them and placed them in the vase. “I liked it…in case you thought I didn’t ’cuz I haven’t had you over. I liked it. It’s just a lot in my head, ya know? But if you didn’t enjoy it or it wasn’t enough for you, we don’t gotta do it again. I just don’t wanna lose a friend.”
I swear my heart felt like it doubled in size. What was it with this man? “I liked it. Jesus, I liked it.”
He gave me another nod. “I know it’s not—I’m not—what you’re used to. I can’t… I’m not…”
“I don’t care about that.” I cupped his face with both hands, felt his scruff as it brushed against my palms. I leaned in, pausing a breath away from him, giving Brian the chance to tell me no if he didn’t want me to kiss him, but it was Brian who closed the distance between us. Brian who pressed a soft kiss against my lips that felt more intimate than it had being inside any of the men I’d fucked.
I pressed my forehead to his. “I don’t know what you want…what you expect. I can’t say where this will go, and I’m scared of fucking it up. I don’t live in this state. You’ve never been with a man. I wasn’t expecting a relationship, and again, maybe I’m jumping the gun here because maybe you don’t even want that. But if you do have feelings for me…” I shook my head. “What if I accidentally hurt you?”
“If you think I know any more than you, you’re crazy. I haven’t figured out what I want. I’ve never had the chance to even want somethin’ like this. And I don’t know if I will. I feel somethin’ for you, but then my dick wouldn’t even get hard. You don’t wanna fuck this up? I don’t either. I couldn’t even get you off.” He pulled away, hands in his hair and tugging on the ends.
“Is that something you want? To be able to get me off?”
“Of course,” he replied. “I want it a whole lot.”
“We’ll figure it out,” I said. “Hey.” I held his wrist so he couldn’t walk away. “We’ll figure it out. I’m not runnin’ if you’re not.”
Brian hesitated. “Okay.”
“And you definitely could have gotten me off. I’m incredibly attracted to you, but you also don’t ever need to feel like you have to. Let’s just…” I pressed my face into his neck, kissing the tender skin there. “See how it goes. Experiment.” Another kiss. “Be honest.” I lashed my tongue over the hollow behind his ear. “Talk to each other.” He tilted his head back, giving me better access to lick and kiss his skin. “Just tell me if you don’t like something…if you want to stop…or if you don’t want to do anything at all.”
When I kissed him again, gently sucking on his throat, Brian groaned.
“Does this feel good?”
“Yeah…hell, yeah.”
I smiled against him. “Good.”
I continued tasting him, going back and forth between his mouth and his throat, while I walked Brian backward toward the couch. God, I hoped I wasn’t pushing too hard and this whole situation wouldn’t blow up in my face.
When we got there, Brian tripped and fell to the cushion, pulling me with him. He let out a loud laugh, and I did too. There was something so beautiful about hearing him laugh.
“Do you want me to keep going?” I sucked on his earlobe. “Or should I get some food in you first?”
He tensed, making me fear I’d done something wrong. “Never had someone be so thoughtful with me before.”
Christ. “That’s a tragedy. You deserve more.” I brushed my hand up and down his torso, his arm, just trying to touch him and make him feel close to someone. “What do you want?”
“I want…” He groaned when I nibbled his skin. “I wanna see you.”
I stopped kissing and leaned back to look at him. “See me?”
“Yeah…if that’s okay. The other night when I felt you…your cock. I liked it, liked knowin’ that I got ya like that. I wanna see you make yourself feel good.”
All sorts of thoughts were going through my head. My dick took notice, blood flooding to my groin. The thought of doing this for him was hot, but again, this whole thing was so tentative, I didn’t want to do the wrong thing. “Just to make sure we’re on the same page…are you asking to see me jerk off for you?”
