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He fingered my hair, looking at me in a way that nearly stole my breath. “How do you not know how incredible you are?”
“I’m just a man.”
“My man now.”
I rubbed a hand over the ache in my chest. “I reckon I am.”
When he pressed his lips to mine, it was tender and sweet. It didn’t make sense to me, how Charles could want me, but I wasn’t going to let that chase me away. I’d never really fought for much of anything in my life, but I thought I would fight for him.
Charles said, “You need to promise me you’ll always tell me how you’re feeling—whether it’s sex stuff, anxiety, or anything else. I don’t ever want to put more pressure on you, but I haven’t experienced this before and I’m gonna make mistakes.”
“We’ll both make mistakes. I never had a relationship, so I’ll make mistakes too.”
He nodded. “Just talk to me, okay? If we’re in a situation and it’s feeling like too much.”
I took a deep breath, trying to sort through the thoughts in my head. “I can try. It’s not always easy for me, and that’s not because I don’t trust ya or don’t feel like I can talk to ya. It’s just me.” I was used to dealing with things on my own.
“Try? We need to talk to make this work.” He kissed me again, and I couldn’t help but melt into him.
“Okay.”
“I have an idea,” Charles said. “Let’s get some snacks because I know you’re hungry. Then we’ll sit here, eating and playing music all night.”
“Not sure anything has ever spoken to me as much as that.”
He chuckled. “Oh, but we’re staying naked,” he said, and pumped his eyebrows.
It was on the tip of my tongue to argue. I didn’t do things like that. I didn’t just let go that way, but I wanted to with him. “All right.”
Charles kissed me again before standing and pulling me to my feet. Our bodies touched again, reminding me I was naked with him. He had dried cum on his stomach, and he’d just swallowed my release.
He moved to go into the kitchen, but I stopped him, hand on his arm. “I like lookin’ at ya,” I admitted. “You’re so damn beautiful, it steals my breath.” And he was. It didn’t matter that I’d never been attracted to men before because again, I wasn’t really attracted to anyone. I just knew how Charles made me feel and how that made me see him. I was pretty sure I was demisexual. Maybe I was bi too. Did I have to be bi, or could I just be demi? Hell if I knew, and I was too old for it to matter much to me. The labels weren’t as important as how I felt.
“Look at you wooing me already. You’re good at this boyfriend gig.”
“I aim to please,” I joked in a way I only did with him.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you fed.”
He made a quick bathroom trip to clean up, and then we went into the kitchen, grabbed drinks, chips, and made sandwiches before heading back into the living room. I got my guitar, and Charles pulled his keyboard over. We ate, then played, all while naked.
I laughed.
I felt alive.
I never wanted it to end.
And when it was just after three in the morning and we were ready for bed, Charles followed me to my room and held me all night. I couldn’t say he loved me. No way he could yet, and maybe he never would, but I felt loved. That meant more to me than I could ever say.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Charles
I’d spent the last three nights at Brian’s. I’d had boyfriends in the past, of course, some longer than others, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever craved spending time with someone like I did with him. Something about him put me at ease—not that I would have ever thought I needed that. But he was just pleasant to be around. He was the kind of man you could feel comfortable with in silence but loved laughing and talking with too. He studied the world around him like no one I’d ever known did. We would see a butterfly, and he would tell me what kind it was before going into facts about it. We would drive to the grocery store, and he could explain growing patterns of flowers we saw or why a house had a specific kind of roof. He had so much knowledge of the world hidden inside him, only sharing when he felt completely comfortable with someone.
And somehow, that person was me. It made me feel…incredible, special, like he’d found parts of me I didn’t know were there. It was unexpected and wild as fuck, but I would never want to walk away from it. I was going to savor it because that’s what living was all about.
