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CHAPTER NINETEEN
Brian
Kissing Charles was incredible. It made my body feel like a live wire, all sorts of signals shooting off inside me that had been dormant most of my life.
When we pulled back, he tugged on my shirt, and I let him take it off for me. My erection had started to flag some, but when his tongue circled my flat nipple before sucking it into his mouth, heat rushed to my groin.
He treated me like I’d done to him in the living room—kissing down my torso, opening my jeans, taking them and my underwear off. I still wasn’t at full mast, worry beginning to make my thoughts form a tornado in my head, but then he sucked me into his mouth, and damned if that didn’t help.
I should have done that to him. I should have done more than just kiss his erection.
I forced those thoughts out of my head by concentrating on him. My gaze stayed firmly on him as he kissed my softening dick, then sucked it into his mouth while never looking away from me. This issue didn’t have anything to do with my want for him, or with me being demisexual. Maybe it was part of the gray or asexual piece? I didn’t know how all that worked, but there couldn’t only be one way for it to work, could there? Not everyone was the same. No experience was completely universal. I couldn’t even blame it on my age because it had been a problem all my life. I’d been checked out and nothing was wrong, but sometimes I just couldn’t open myself up.
I’d never wanted to be able to do it more than when I was with him. I wanted him.
“You’re so sexy,” Charles said, nuzzling my groin. “I’d keep your dick in my mouth all night if you wanted. Just touching you and sucking you. Want your skin against mine, all the time.”
The things he said did their job, breaking down that block that kept lodging itself in my head.
“Do you like this?” He rubbed his stubble against me like I’d done to him.
“Yes.” Pleasure swept over my skin. My eyes began to flutter.
“No. Don’t close your eyes, sweetheart. Look at me. I love it when you look at me. It makes me feel incredible.”
His words were a jolt of pleasure to my dick—and not just that, but to my heart and maybe my head too, breaking more bricks from that wall. I made him feel that way. Me. And there was something so potent about that, so affirming.
“There we go. Look at this big, thick cock. I love making you hard for me.” Charles stroked me, making me hiss. “I even love it when I have to work for it. It’s the best fucking reward in the world.”
“I want you,” I said, my voice husky.
“Then you can have me.” Charles lay on the bed. I was glad he didn’t give me his back. I wanted to look him in the eyes when we did this.
He stroked his cock while I got between his legs. I grabbed the lube. I might not have been with a man, but I knew I had to open him up, so I slicked up my fingers.
“Put a pillow under my hips. That’ll make it a little easier for you,” Charles said. I loved that he didn’t do it himself but told me to. “Do you want me to do this part?”
“I wanna be the one to do all of it. If you need to tell me somethin’, that’s fine. If somethin’ doesn’t feel good, I wanna know, but I want it all to be me.”
Charles smiled. “Christ, that’s hot.”
He lifted his full balls as my fingers slid between his cheeks. I found his tight pucker, circled it with my finger. He had hair there like I did. Not a lot, and I wouldn’t have thought that was something I would find sexy, but I did.
“Kiss me,” Charles said.
Oh yeah. Good idea. I shouldn’t just shove my fingers in there.
I leaned over him, brushing my lips over his softly before slipping my tongue inside. My head spun every time we did this, every time I tasted him. This was intimate, like we were already making love.
I tapped at his hole again, making out with him as I pushed the tip of my finger inside. I was a knuckle deep when Charles moaned.
“Not good?” I paused.
“No, it is good. I love this. I love having someone inside me. I can’t wait until it’s your dick.”
I knew my smile probably looked too big on my face right then, but I didn’t care. The way he made me feel…it was indescribable.
I kissed him again, pushing my finger in and out of him, before working a second inside. He was so tight. How would I survive this around my cock? What if I shot the second I was inside him? On the other hand, no matter how good he felt, what if I couldn’t stay hard?
