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‘’It's fine.’’ ‘’You’ve shut down Amber. I won’t trap you. If you don’t want to be with me, or around me. I’ll make you’re safe and taken care of. You don’t have to spend another minute with me.’’ Amber looked into my eyes and smiled. ‘’You are so selfless.’’ I held her hand. ‘’I mean it. If you don’t want this, I won’t keep you against your will. I won’t trap you.’’ ‘’I’d feel safer with you Wade. I just don’t want to hurt you more. I can’t give you false hope.’’ ‘’Is there the smallest chance you would stay?’’ ‘’No, I’m so sorry.’’ ‘’If all this shit wasn’t around. If there were no dramas, you would want me though. You would be mine?’’ I answered honestly. ‘’I would love to be yours, Wade. I wish it could be. But it can’t. What you have to understand is that he nearly killed me. My dad and his men saved my life. They risked their lives and their families for me. They miss out on seeing their families every day for me. How can I throw it all back in their faces?’’
‘’What if I could do what they do? What if I could protect you and they could all go back to their families.’’ ‘’He will find me here Wade if he hasn’t already found me. When he does, he will hurt Kait, Jace, people at work, you, and your family. Anyone he can to get to me. Don’t put me in this position. I can’t risk him hurting someone I care for. If he took Kait or anyone, id undoubtedly turn myself over to him. I know what he’s capable of. I won’t let him hurt people I love. If I leave, he has no reason to be here. He will move on, and he won’t be side-tracked by hurting people here.’’ Wade pulled me to him. ‘’So, I have a month or two, and that’s it.’’ ‘’I’m sorry.’’ ‘’Then make me a promise?’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’If I have to live the rest of my life wondering where you are. If I don’t get the opportunity to love you and be with you for the rest of your life, then I want everything in the time we have. You don’t hold back. It’s your last gift to me. I don’t care about how it will make me feel. Make me the happiest man alive for the short time I have you.’’ I couldn’t deny him. I admitted only to myself. I would never admit to Wade. I loved him, and I would love him with everything I had until I had to say goodbye. I thought back to last night and frowned. ''I need to go to a chemist after last night. I can't get pregnant Wade.'' ''Can’t get pregnant as in not physically possible or can’t get pregnant like, you don’t want to?’’ I stared up at him. ‘’Don’t want to’’ I replied. ‘’What is that scar from Amber?'' I curled up. ‘’I’m not talking about it Wade, it’s in the past, please don’t.’’ ‘’Please Amber, if I get all of you in this next month or so, I want your honesty too.” Tears flowed, and I couldn’t stop them. I practised my breathing. Wade pulled me to him and whispered ''Amber, I’ll never tell a soul, please tell me, baby, what is that scar.'' I held his hand in mine. ‘’Let’s go home, Wade. I’ll tell you when we go home.’’ We made the rest of the trip in silence and pulled into the basement of his building. I noticed as we got out that there was a substantial boost in security. There were four or five more men who were armed, stationed around the basement, in the lift, and outside the door to Wade’s penthouse. Wade opened the door and pulled me into the loungeroom. I pulled the throw rug over myself and with Wade’s eyes on me, I let it out. I couldn’t stop it. This man had so much control over me after such a short time.
''My husband didn’t want the baby. I ran away and tried to hide, but they found me, and they took her. She died.'' I couldn’t stop the flow of tears. I felt Wade’s body tense in anger, his heart pounding as I buried myself in his chest. ''They cut your baby from your stomach?'' I knew Wade was horrified. ''Yes, I was 30 weeks pregnant I ran away to protect her. My mother told him where I was. People came and beat me. They cut her out of me. I couldn’t do anything. I woke up in the hospital weeks later, and she was just gone.’’ Wade pulled me to him and held me while I cried it out. Tears for the daughter I could never hold. Anger that I was not strong enough to protect her. I hoped that whatever had happened to her had been fast with no suffering. I looked up to Wade, ''That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, or anyone.'' ''I’m sorry for pushing Baby.'' He kissed my head and lifted my chin, so I could see him. ''Amber no matter how angry I get; I would never raise a hand to a woman. You will always be safe with me.'' He kissed my nose. ‘’How did you end up with a man who would cut his baby from his wife.’’ I curled into his chest, so I wouldn’t have to see his face, see his reaction.
''When I was 21, I met a man named Tom in London. He was 35, wealthy and charming and he swept me off my feet. One day he picked me up for a date and surprised me by flying me to Las Vagas in the U.S. He proposed, and we got married the same day. It was ok for a while, I moved into his home. I had to quit my job and he wouldn’t let me finish my degree. He said that I would never need my studies or my job with him around. He expected me to be a stay-at-home wife. He controlled more and more things; he would tear up outfits that he didn’t like. He was demanding and rude to my friends until they stopped visiting. He liked my mother, but she liked his money, so they had a mutually beneficial relationship. My dad hated him. I was bored out of my mind. We had a cleaner and as soon as he found out I was a hopeless cook he got one of those too. So, I had absolutely nothing to do all day.
One day, I decided to meet him in his office for lunch. I packed lunch and got a cab to his office. When I got there his PA refused to let me into his office. I knew something was up, so I barged in. He had a woman bent over his desk fucking her. I went home and locked myself in my room. I started packing all my things and getting ready to leave. He got home shortly after. He came in to say sorry, but when he saw I was leaving him he punched me. I remember laying on the floor while he kicked me over and over. Eventually, he kicked me in the head, and everything went black. I woke up in the hospital. He was beside me with bodyguards at the hospital telling everyone that I had been beaten by a thief. He threatened that he would hurt my family if I told anyone differently. When they released me, he took me home. He made it clear I was to be a pretty little housewife. I was to have sex with him when requested. I was to attend social events on his arm, and that was the end of our arrangement. If I did anything other than directed, he would hurt me or my family.''
I glanced over and noticed Wade’s knuckles were white. He was struggling to hear all this. ''My dad came to see me one day. He didn’t know anything that had happened, and I didn’t breathe a word. My dad left at the end of the day, as punishment for my dad showing up unannounced Tom watched and had one of his thugs bend my arm back until it popped out of the socket. We came home one night from a gala dinner, and he told me to go to my room. He came up hours after with a woman. He told me to stay on the other side of the bed while they took drugs, and he fucked her in front of me. I fell asleep crying in the corner of the room. At some stage during the night, I woke to scissors cutting off my clothes. The woman he was with had helped him to tie me up. He left me tied up and came over with white powder. He forced it into my mouth. I don’t know what else happened that night, and I don’t want to know. I woke to find them both passed out. My ties had loosened. I slipped on some clothes and called the police. The police found him surrounded by drugs and passed out with his whore. He was arrested, and I thought that I would be safe.
I started packing and preparing myself to leave while he was in jail. But he was let out on parole and home within two days. I had stored some of my things at our neighbour’s house. She knew lots of what had happened and was trying to help me escape. When he got out of jail, instead of punishing and beating me, he had her killed. I don’t know how. All I know is she disappeared. Tom just told me he made her suffer for a long time. I kept quiet and I kept the piece for a few months. Until I realised, I skipped my period and I was pregnant. I was terrified. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him for long. I wore bigger baggier clothes and pretended that I was very sick to keep him away. I begged my doctor not to tell him. He helped me, he told Tom I had Glandular Fever. When I was nineteen weeks pregnant, I couldn’t hide it anymore. I went to my mother and told her I needed help. She told me I should tell Tom; he would be over the moon to have a child. She told me that I was a drama queen and to go home. When I wouldn’t be persuaded, she sent me to her summer house and told me she would figure something out. I should have known better.
Tom's guys were there within hours. I was so glad that I had the foresight to see that and leave the house to hide in the woods. I checked into a dingy hotel. Too scared to try to contact my dad in case he got hurt. I just wanted to get through my pregnancy. I knew I wouldn’t live through it. But I hoped that I could give birth and adopt the baby out, so it would be safe. Tom found me after eleven or twelve weeks. He was furious. He accused me of cheating on him. He slapped me, but he didn’t beat me any further. I think he was still deciding what to do.
After a couple of weeks, he came to me and told me he wanted to mend our relationship for the baby’s sake. He put his hand on my stomach and felt the baby kick. He seemed happy. After that, he came for an ultrasound, and we found out the baby was a girl. I thought that we might just be safe until the baby was born, and then I could hide her.
I overheard him in his study one day, on his phone. He was telling someone that he wanted the baby out and he was telling them to make sure I didn’t live through it. I didn’t think of anything else, I left with nothing. I knew if my baby was born at 30 weeks it probably wouldn’t survive. I finally told my dad everything. Dad is in special ops and CIA. He had friends in both the army and the police force he knew he could trust. He told me to hide until they got to me, and they would protect us. I didn’t hide well enough. While I was waiting for my dad to get to me, two men and a lady found me. I think she was some kind of doctor. They held me down and gave me needles. They stopped her from putting a mask on my face. They said I was to be fully conscious and feel all the pain. I was held down while they cut into my stomach. I passed out before it was done.
I woke up in the hospital three weeks later after four surgeries to save my life. My dad tried to make arrangements to get me out of the hospital before Tom came to make sure the job was finished. The doctors and police wouldn’t let me go. A nurse came in the middle of the night. She said she knew Tom was planning to hurt me and the system wouldn’t protect me. So, she packed me off with my dad and his friend, and a bunch of stuff to dress my wounds. After two more weeks of hiding and healing my dad came to me and told me they had a plan. They were getting me out of the country, but I couldn’t look back. I had to cut ties with everyone including him and move on with my life. And now I’m here.’’ We sat in silence for a moment. Wade was shaking ‘’Wade?’’ ‘’I can’t believe someone would do that to you. I can’t believe that a man had a chance with you, had the honour of making you his wife, that he would cut his own daughter from his wife.’’ Wade pulled me up to him. ‘’Don’t you ever be ashamed, Amber. You are beautiful. And Strong and amazing. It hurts me that you have been through so much but, I’m also so proud of you and that you made it through all of that and you are still the loving, beautiful woman you are today.'' Wade kissed me slowly. Holding me tight, holding me together.
Chapter Eleven
WADE
Wade, I really do have to get the morning-after pill. We had unprotected sex so many times. I can’t risk it.’’ I kissed the top of her head. ‘’I’ll have a doctor come to you. I’m sorry. We should have talked about protection for you.’’ ‘’Thank you.’’ Amber closed her eyes and rested while I held her in my arms. All of Amber’s revelations had only made me want her more. I was struggling with a wild need to possess her and mark her as mine, but I had to be careful. I'd never felt this way before. Last night my thoughts had been of getting inside Amber as quickly as possible. But I'd made a fully conscious decision not to use protection, not giving a shit if she got pregnant. I had never ever had unprotected sex until last night. The thought now of Amber taking the morning-after pill. Ending whatever small possibility that she might have my child, call me absolutely fucking crazy. I knew it was completely irrational, but it made me feel sick. A tiny thought flitted through my brain. Convince Amber not to do it. Leave it to fate if it's meant to be, it will. But I knew given her past it wouldn't go over with her. Suggesting it would also scare her off. So, I sat on my lounge, nails digging into the fine leather and shut my mouth while the doctor saw to Amber and gave her the morning-after pill.
AMBER
Wade had been strange since we got home. Once the doctor left, I crept over to Wade and tentatively curled up on his lap. ''Sorry if that was weird.'' ''Not at all baby.'' He kissed the top of my head. ''So, what do you want to do while you’re here, do you want me to show you around? I have a lot to keep you occupied.'' ''Can we just go to bed? Maybe we can watch tv and snuggle?’’ Wade picked me up and carried me to bed. He slowly undressed me. ‘’I want you to revel in the fact that for the next few weeks, with me, you don’t have to hide your scars.’’ Wade kissed the small, puckered lines. I smiled. The thought was oddly freeing. ‘’Oh my god, I can walk around the penthouse in my underwear.’’ Wade waggled his eyebrows. ‘’Yes, do that.’’ I laughed, and Wade laid down beside me kissing me. ‘’What do you want to watch? What’s your favourite old movie? Something you watched when you were younger?’’ I laughed. ‘’You won’t want to watch that.’’ ‘’Tell me?’’ Wade lay down smiling at me. ‘’I have three favourites, Pretty Woman, Sister Act & Kindergarten Cop.’’ Wade laughed. ‘’What a collection.’’ He smiled at me a moment. ‘’What? You’re looking at me funny.’’ ‘’Will you still think I’m manly if I told you I have all three?’’ ‘’I’ve seen your manliness. I would never second guess it.’’ I mocked. Wade lifted me and pinned me to the wall kissing me slowly. I couldn’t help it; I kissed him like I couldn’t get enough. ''Wade'' I murmured between kisses. Oh god, his hand slipped up to my shorts cupping my ass and squeezing, his fingers slipped forward to find my wetness. He made me forget my mind. I threw my head back as his fingers plunged into me, he knew what he was doing. ‘’Wade…wait a sec.’’ Wade slowed and kissed me. ‘’What baby?’’ It’s one thing to make love to a man in the dark thinking you will never see him again. It's entirely another thing to fuck him against a wall, him knowing all your secrets. We weren’t responsible last night. ‘’You have to use a condom, Wade.’’ Wade groaned. ‘’We can’t have the Doctor over every day.’’ He leaned down to bite my nipple. Oh god, the things he could do. ''For making me put a barrier between us I’m going to punish you. You won’t walk for a week.'' With that Wade carried me to the bedroom and made love to me for hours before we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.
I awoke to Wade kissing me on the forehead. He was in a suit and ready for work. I sobered immediately. ''I'm sorry honey, I've got a meeting I can't put off today. I've rescheduled everything possible, so I'll be with you most of the time but today can't wait. And unfortunately, I can't offer to take you with me. But I will sort something out for you to work from home, so you don't die of boredom.'' ''Will you be home early?'' ''Maybe darling, I have to go. I have a board meeting that I’m about three hours late for. I don’t want to leave you though. I’ve been watching you sleep for hours and pissing off some very big clients while they wait.'' ‘’Oh god, I didn’t mean to make you late. I’m sorry, I hope you won’t be in trouble’’ I said. I stood up, I had to get myself together. I needed a shower. Wade laughed, ''I don’t get in trouble baby, I’m the boss.'' I laughed too ''I suppose that would have its perks.’’ ''Will you be ok by yourself for a couple of hours?'' ''I’m good Wade, I need a shower. I’ll catch you this afternoon, I suppose...'' He leaned down to kiss me. ''I’ll be ok Wade; I’ll have a shower and have some me time.'' Wade rolled me over onto my stomach and smacked me lightly. ''You drive me crazy, Sweetheart. I’d rather spend the day right here with you. I'll be home as soon as I can. There's a present on the kitchen bench for you.'' With that, he pinched my nipple and left the bedroom.
WADE
‘’Raul, call ahead and tell them we will be there soon. I want to wrap this up quickly. I have things to do.’’ ‘’No worries sir.”
I shot a quick text to my brother.
Are you busy?
Just finishing at the gym, and then headed to the spa. What’s up little bro?
I’ve fallen head over heels for this crazy beautiful girl. She's still in my bed. Long story short she's in trouble and I'm protecting her. Actually, she’s the girl I’ve had you trying to hack into systems for. Could you hang out with her for a few hours?
Crazy beautiful? Say no more, sounds like she has you all tied up. Get Raul to text me details and I’ll pick her up.
She stays strictly in the penthouse you will have to go to her. Matt – she’s been through a lot be careful okay?
I’ve never been more curious in my life. Can’t wait.
I laughed. My brother was very similar to me. But for all the women I fucked, he fucked twice as many men. Between the two of us, we tore up the city. He was notoriously flirtatious and gay. I didn’t care, he was my brother and my rock. If anyone could soothe Amber, it was him. I made a few calls before texting Amber on the new iPhone I had bought and left for her on the kitchen bench, with a red ribbon attached.
My brother Matt is on his way over to keep you company. I miss you already. W.
Matt is here, you don’t need to make plans for me. Not that I’m not grateful, but I need to talk to you after blurting out my whole life story, I’m so sorry. A.
God that woman intrigued me and pissed me off at the same time. I would text her later. I got out of the limo to head into the office. After a very boring and counterproductive board meeting, I picked up my phone. There was a text from Amber.
