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“I know.” He’s leaning easily against the edge of the counter. “I’ve thought about it, you know. I’ve gone through the scenario a million times, actively trying to blame you. Seeing if there’s some way I could hold on to that anger—any inkling of resentment toward you that could fester over time.” I’m barely breathing as I wait for his answer. As much as I know I can’t happily live without Harlow, I’m also a realist, and I know without a doubt that Sawyer would come before me. I’m not even bitter about it. They’re childhood best friends, practically family, and his raised her. I’m not for a second arrogant enough to think that I could compete with him. So the idea that he could want me gone from this... It’s terrifying in a way nothing else is.
“And?” I say when he doesn’t answer immediately.
“And there’s nothing,” he says with a shrug, as if it’s not music to my ears. I sag in relief. “I genuinely do not blame you for what happened to my father. Some things that happen are just fucking terrible. I don’t need to punish whoever I can to get over it, especially not you.”
“Fuck, dude,” I say on an exhale. I can’t believe it’s that easy. That some people are just decent through and through and don’t use any weakness they can to extort or torture you. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“I know. And I know as relieved as you are, you’ll still feel guilt.” He’s right. I don’t think that’ll ever go. Not just for Callen, but for every bad thing the Seconds have done under my father’s instructions. “But don’t let that get in the way of Harlow having a good last day—a nice visit with the people she loves as parents. She’d love for all of us to be there.”
I grit my teeth together, wanting like hell to do what he’s offering.
“You don’t think that’s disrespectful? Me being there? I’ll tell them, if you want.” It would kill me, but I would. I don’t want them to think of me as not good enough for Harlow, even though I know I’m not—I bring too much bad into her life.
“I don’t, and I don’t. Let’s just start moving forward. Well, as much as we can before the next week throws us into the whirlwind.” I nod, emotion suddenly choking me. I don’t deserve this—I really don’t—but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to grasp the tease of a nice life with both hands. Sawyer holds his hand out like a physical representation of that offer.
“To moving forward.” I grab it and shake firmly before pulling him into me, clapping him on the back so he can’t see my eyes watering, and he chuckles.
“You won’t regret it,” I choke out. “I’ll love her with everything I have.”
“I know,” he says with so much quiet confidence it seeps into me as we step apart. The beep of a horn from outside ends our moment, and I smile gratefully at him, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. My phone vibrates again in my pocket, but I ignore it. I’m off to see Pearl and Callen with my team and my girl.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ezra
The visit goes better than I could’ve hoped, and Harlow’s grin doesn’t leave her face once from the time Nico climbs into the car with them. I don’t know what took them so long up there in the apartment, but Nico looked a little red, they were both laughing as they joined us.
As we’re leaving with homemade cake that Pearl insisted we take home with us, Nico’s phone vibrates for about the tenth time. He pulls it out to check the caller, and his face drops into a frown.
“I’m so glad that’s what it was against my leg,” I joke, and a surprised chuckle bubbles out of him.
“One minute,” he says as we climb back into the car, and he takes a few steps away, pressing the phone to his ear. He’s too far away for us to hear what he’s saying, but his body language is tense, a frown on his face.
“His dad?” I guess, and Harlow shrugs.
“Or his uncle delivering his dad’s bad news,” she offers, and Nico makes his way back to us, his fingers tight around the phone. He slides into the driver’s seat with a sigh, not looking at any of us as he starts the engine.
“I’ve got to be at the compound,” he says.
“When?” Harlow asks as he pulls away from the house.
“From now until we leave tomorrow.”
“Then we’ll go too,” I decide. All three pairs of eyes swing to me, a mixture of surprise and confusion in them all. “We’re a team, right?” I may not have started off with the same bond to Nico as the other two, and I certainly was the first one to write him off after what happened with Harlow, but it’s different now. She wants him—needs him—just like she does Sawyer and me. He’s part of us now.
“You go, we go,” I say, and Harlow squeezes me so hard she might crush a rib.
“You sure?” Nico checks, his gaze still on me through the rearview mirror.
“He’s sure,” Sawyer replies for me. “Now, can you look back at the road so we actually make it to our destination?” Nico’s lips tilt, but he obliges.
It’s quiet for barely a minute when Harlow’s phone rings.
“Hey!” she greets enthusiastically as she mouthsFleurto us. “How are you doing?” Fleur’s voice is a tinny sound from the other end of the line, so I tune out the conversation until Harlow hangs up, a frown on her face.
“What’s up?” Sawyer asks, twisting in his seat.
“Fleur’s moving back.”
