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This week, she delivered the report and spent an hour bullshitting with Tommy. I sat at the countertop behind them, and she didn’t give me an ounce of attention. It was almost as if I didn’t exist to her. She wasn’t outwardly rude as she had been before, but she didn’t bother to give me a single glance.
I was done with the hot and cold shit between us.
This wasn’t just business. Not anymore.
I tried to calm myself with a morning run the next day, but my thoughts swirled more frantically with each mile. I tried to convince myself not to be irrational. The logical part of me knew that letting Sierra go would be the best option—that I had to stop caring about her life now that she’d made it clear she didn’t care about me. I shouldn’t care about her anymore either, but I couldn’t get her off my mind. I needed to know what the hell I’d done.
Three and a half miles into my run, I hailed a cab, giving the address to her apartment. I found it too easy to take the elevator to her floor, slip a credit card between the door and the lock, and push. Her lock gave way within seconds, and I let myself into her home, looking around. We’d done surveillance on her in the first week after hiring her to ensure she didn’t do anything irrational, so we knew her apartment number and the hours she usually returned home, but we never saw the inside.
The first thing that hit me was the thick scent of vanilla. The light-colored décor and a couch expertly arranged in the center of the room drew my gaze next. It was pristine. The only imperfections were a pile of mail on the countertop and a coffee mug on the side of the sink. Even the blanket across the couch looked expertly rumpled, and the pillows had been fluffed, too.
It was certainly the home of a successful interior designer, but I also saw traces of her personality. The decorative records she hung on the wall were the ones she’d listened to repetitively as a teenager. The assortment of teas across the back of her countertop reminded me of her dedication to trying everything. I remembered the boxes of tea that had littered Hunter’s countertops years ago, and I strode toward them, running my finger over them. It looked like the violet tea had been used most, and I wondered if it was her favorite.
Finally, I moved across the room and sat on her too-plush couch. I planted both feet on her coffee table, crossed my arms, and waited for her to get home so we could handle this.
* * *
Enough time had passedthat I found myself resting my head on the back of her couch and dozing off. I jerked awake to the key in the lock. I leaned forward immediately, marking the shadows that now covered every corner of the room. The afternoon had given way to night, and as Sierra walked inside, I could see how exhausting her day had been in the way she dragged her feet. She tossed her bag beside the door and strode into the dark kitchen, grabbing her mug by the sink and flipping it upright as she turned on the blinding lights. When she looked my way, she squealed and jumped backward, covering her face with her hand as she inhaled deeply and groaned. “What the hell, Carlo?” she shouted. “You scared the shit out of me. You can’t just break into my apartment.”
I can, and I did,I wanted to say, but I focused on the reason I was here as I stood slowly. “We’re going to have a conversation.”
Sierra surprised me as she rested her mug on her counter, took a deep breath, and marched back toward her front door. “I’m not dealing with this,” she muttered, and I realized what she was doing just in time to stride across the room, slam my palm on the door above her head, and push it back closed. She would avoid this conversation by leaving her own home.
“I’m not here to get into a pissing match, but I’m not leaving until we discuss why you hate me. Tell me what the hell I did, and then get over it. I won’t watch you play nice with my brothers and ignore me out of spite—not when I don’t even know what I did to piss you off.”
“We’ve had this conversation a dozen times,” she reminded me, turning toward me and leaning against the door that I still held shut. “I’ve explained it to you already. Nothing is going to change this time. I don’t like you because you led me on, and that won’t change.”
I scoffed, leaning in. “And you think I see you as a perfect little princess? You think I like you?” I asked. Surprise shot across her expression. “Tesora, I guarantee we feel the same way about one another, but I’m not the one giving you the cold shoulder.”
“It’s hard not to think you like me when you’ve fucked me twice,” she said, and the vulgar word on her lips sent shivers down my spine. My arm trapped her between me and the door, and I only chuckled deeply.
“I wasn’t aware that you use such dirty words,” I told her, leaning closer. “And I was also under the impression that you enjoyed yourself.” She audibly gulped, and my smile spread. “You may hate me, but I don’t hate you,” I told her. “I don’t particularly like how you’re acting, and the way you think you’re better than me pisses me off, but I don’t hate you. We can settle our issues if you explain what happened between us.”
“You lied and didn’t return when you promised you would,” she shot back, giving me the same worn-out story.
“You and I both know that’s not the full story,” I told her. Our lips were only a few inches apart, and I could feel each breath warm my face.
“The full story is mine and mine alone. I don’t have to tell you anything,” she said.
“Tesora,” I drew out, taking a deep breath to calm my frustration. “Do you realize how hard I tried to keep you out of this mess? If I’d come back, you would’ve been hurt or killed. The horrors you’ve experienced in the last five years would pale compared to what you would’ve endured if I’d returned.”
“Then why even lead me on?” she asked.
The only way she would ever tell her truth was if I gave an inkling of mine. “I tried to get out,” I admitted to her. “And it didn’t work.”
“But then you brought me into it anyways,” she reminded me, her jaw ticking in frustration. “If you’re willing to do it now, you should’ve been willing to do it back then.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “Back then, leaving you out of it would protect you, and I was willing to set aside my wants for your safety. Now, my brothers’ lives are at stake. You’re our only option, and they’re my priority. Tommy’s already been shot, and I’m not letting them get hurt any more than that. I know that sounds cruel. But if it were Hunter, would you not give anything to see him safe and well?”
“I did,” she reminded me. “It’s why I’m here.”
“And that’s why I came back when I did.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t say anything, and I knew she was finally hearing me—finally beginning to understand what I’d been trying to tell her. She may not have known the trigger behind my staying away, but she knew I hadn’t done it out of spite. I had done it to see her safe; she had to understand that.
I leaned closer, pressing my forehead against hers. The soft skin that met mine had the nerves in my body zinging in anticipation. My mind lingered on the silky, creamy feel of her thighs beneath my palms, and I shuddered in anticipation. But her hand raised between us, and she pressed on my chest until I stepped backward. “Don’t start any of that seductive shit,” she said. “If you didn’t want to risk it back then, now should be no different. I told you it was a mistake the last two times, and I meant it.” I sucked in a breath, trying to regain control of the arousal that had hit mehard.
“I know why you left,” she continued. “I can understand it. But it doesn’t change the fact that you could’ve told me the truth instead of keeping me waiting. I would’ve never waited so long if you’d just told me. I would’ve never become desperate enough to—” She cut herself off and shook her head. “There were consequences to what you did, and I can’t forget them.”
