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"But you care what people think of you," Athena counters carefully. "You're talking to Dexter North so that he writes a book that makes you look good."
"Fair. Not entirely true, but fair," Ruby says, letting her eyes drift to the window over her daughter's shoulder. The beach is gorgeous today, and there's not a soul in sight. "I want to tell my story, sure, but I like to think it's more of a search for catharsis than simply an attempt to cast myself in a flattering light. Of course, human nature is human nature, so sure, maybe I want to come out smelling like a rose, but I am willing to do the hard work, Bean. I am willing to ask myself the tough questions and to uncover truths that might not be totally flattering to me."
Athena nods and stares into her coffee mug. "I'm not even sure how to do that," she says softly. "But there must be some things that are my fault in this situation."
"No, no, no, honey." Ruby shakes her head firmly with each word. "None of this is your fault. I mean, what—you’re guilty of liking a guy? Of accepting his invitation to dinner? Of wanting to be intimate with someone? You're twenty-three. None of that is wrong."
"I just didn't want my first time to be with someone who treated me like that," Athena says so quietly that her words barely carry. "Now I'm afraid to put myself out there again."
"Sweetheart..." Ruby's eyes well with tears as she watches her baby girl across the table. "I didn't know that this was your first time."
Athena shrugs, trying to look tougher than she feels. She swipes at the tears streaming down her cheeks. "It's whatever, really. I just didn't ever find anyone I liked enough until him."
"Well," Ruby says, looking unsure about what to say next. "All I can say without saying too much and making you squirm is that for most of us, our first time isn't anything like the movies. It's awkward and sometimes sad or funny when we think it's going to be romantic and perfect. Humans are always imperfect, but never more so than when we're in a vulnerable situation, which, frankly, sex is."
Athena nods and wipes her cheeks dry again. "That's true."
"So don't beat yourself up too much, okay? You were vulnerable and hopeful, and you went into the situation with good intentions. His bad actions arenoton you, nor do you need to take them as your own, do you hear me?"
"I do."
"Okay." Ruby gives one firm nod and moves on. "Now, let's talk about this whole business of you wanting to quit your job." She stands up and walks to the island, where she starts cracking eggs into a bowl and then pours in a dab of milk. "And pardon me for cooking here while we chat, but I'm going to feed you. Tears and coffee alone are not enough to jumpstart the day."
Athena gives a wan smile. "Okay, Mom. And I just think I want to quit the library. I want to stay down here with you."
Ruby nods as she grates aged cheddar into the bowl of eggs that she's already whipped with milk. Behind her on the gas range is an omelette pan that she's dropped a pat of butter into so that it will be ready for her egg mixture.
"Obviously I love having you here, sweetheart—I love having both of you here," Ruby says, turning to the pan and carefully pouring her eggs into it so that it will firm up as she chops the large piece of ham that she's also pulled from the fridge. "But I don't want you to make any rash decisions. Have you thought of the pros and cons?"
The door that leads from the kitchen out to the wraparound deck opens and Harlow walks in. She's out of breath and bends forward at the waist, stretching as sweat drips down her temples. She's already kicked off her shoes outside on the wooden deck and she stands there in her white running socks, checking her mileage on her Apple watch.
"Morning," Harlow says, glancing at both her mom and her sister. "Oooh, breakfast? And why does everyone look so serious?"
"Omelettes," Ruby says, gesturing at the table with the spatula in her hand. "Sit down and I'll make you one too. And we're talking about Athena wanting to stay here on Shipwreck Key."
"Permanently?" Harlow pulls out a chair next to Athena and sits. Through the window they can see Eldrick standing on the deck, arms leaning on the railing as he faces the water. He followed Harlow on her run down the beach, and now he'll settle in outside and watch the waves until he and Banks coordinate who will trail the three women for the day.
"Yes," Athena says, sounding more certain than she has for most of the conversation so far. "I think this place suits me way better than Washington does."
"Of course it does," Harlow says, reaching into the bowl of fruit that's sitting at the center of the table. She chooses a banana and starts to peel it. "There are no men here to hurt you."
It's simple and it's true and it hits Athena right in the center of her heart. She averts her gaze.
"Sorry, Athena," Harlow says, breaking off the top third of the banana with her fingers and taking a bite of it. "But it's true. You got burned badly, and it's going to sting for a while. And the easiest way to protect yourself is to stay the hell away from men who can hurt you again. I've seen it happen many times," she says sagely. "And I get it, but don't stay off the horse for too long, so to speak. Or you'll be afraid to get back on."
Ruby turns her upper body as she stands at the stove and lifts one eyebrow at her younger daughter in warning. Harlow shrugs back at her helplessly.
"I get you—loud and clear," Athena says. "But I think I've made up my mind. Mom, if you'll have me, I want to stay. I can find my own place as soon as I figure out a job situation."
"If Athena is staying," Harlow says, though not with any sense of petulance or competition in her voice, "then I want to stay too." She leans her head onto her sister's shoulder and rests it there.
"Wait," Ruby says, lifting the pan from the stove and sliding the first omelette onto a white plate before she drops another pat of butter into the pan for the next round. "You want to stay here too, Lolo?"
Harlow is quiet for a minute before she lifts her head from Athena's shoulder. "Yeah. I think so." All of her normal bravado and bluster are gone. "I'm kind of freaked out by the big city. I always loved living there and I never felt afraid, but being in the bar that night just made everything feel so...violent. And random. I hate that," she adds, sounding like a little girl who is admitting that she hates the burned meatloaf on her plate or something equally innocuous.
"It's understandable that you'd feel that way," Ruby says, staying busy at the stove as she talks. "Do you think your therapist is helping at all? Not to be nosey at all—I’m just wondering."
"She is. And it was her idea that I stay down here for a bit."
