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Gripping the handrail tightly, I took each step slowly. I had already agreed to spend time with him, but somehow this felt worse. Before it had just been words. But with each step I took willingly towards him, it became more real. Like I was walking to my death.
By the time I reached the top, my palms were sweating. It beaded my forehead, and the cold breeze cooled it on my face. Wiping it off with the back of my hand, I hesitated. The fresh air flowing from the water should have felt good, but it made it worse.
Maybe I was more hungover than I thought or maybe...just maybe I had finally realised what I had done.
“Taylor.” His voice was sharp.
Putting one foot in front of the other became a chore of astronomical effort. My legs felt like lead, my feet seemed to drag through quicksand. I didn’t know what I was doing. Confusion clouded my thoughts. My brain screamed at me to get out of there and yet my feet kept moving towards him.
“Here.” Sensing my slow approach to his back, he held out his hand for me to take. The moment I took it, his head whipped around. “Your hands are clammy. Are you sick?”
Unable to talk, I let him pull me forward until I stood shivering between his knees. The hand that had taken mine tightened, but it was the other one that all my concentration went to. It slid up my leg from mid-thigh, sliding up under the hem of the t-shirt to curl around my hip.
“You really shouldn't drink like you did last night. It's not smart to let your guard down that much. To let your inhibitions down. Anything could have happened to you.” One small tug on my hand and I was sitting on his knee.
“What, like being kidnapped by the mob?” I muttered.
Throwing back his head, The Judge laughed. “You weren't kidnapped by the mob, Taylor.” Sobering so suddenly that it left me wondering whether that laugh was genuine, his dark eyes met mine. He had a thing about looking into my eyes. And the closer we were, the better. It was almost like he wanted to see something in them, like he was searching deep in my soul for something that only he knew about.
“I'm pretty sure–”
“You were kidnapped by me,” he cut in.
Rolling my eyes, I shivered. “Isn't it the same thing?”
“No, not even close.” For a second, he looked thoughtful. “I work for the mob, among other people, but I am not the mob. The Family is–” He chewed on his lip, looking into my face unblinking. “My only link to that particular organisation is the money they give me and–” A slow smile spread across his face. “I have a friendship with the current head of it. I am loyal to him as he is to me, but if anything happened to him, if he was replaced...” He shrugged.
Sitting on his lap, I stilled. Even my heartbeat slowed down. I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. “They would kill you?”
The way he was talking so casually was so alien to me.
Reaching around me, he plucked a dripping piece of melon from the spread of fruit and pastries on the table. He held it to my lips. Rubbing the sweet fruit back and forth across them until the juices ran down my chin.
“Would they kill you?” The second I opened my mouth; the fruit was popped inside. Making speech impossible for a few seconds. “Judge? Would they–?”
“They would try, I'm sure.” Another shrug. “I'm not so easy to kill.”
And there he went again, acting like it was perfectly normal. No normal person would think their life was on the line if there was a change of management. I couldn’t get my head around it. It made no sense.
“Why?”
“Because it is the world I live in. This isn't one of your books, Taylor. My world is dark and dirty. They would try to take me out before I got to them. Gio is my friend. His wife is my friend. I don’t have many of them, believe it or not, so I am loyal to those I do have. But you don’t need to worry. I am very good at what I do.”
He didn’t exactly preen, but it was close. He was proud of what he did.
Proud that he was a killer.
My stomach roiled at the thought.
“And you’ve never wanted to do anything else?” The words left my lips before I could stop them. Against my hip, The Judge’s fingers stilled.
“What else was I ever meant to do? Work in an office? Come and ask you out for a date, and pick you up from your little job? Would you have even looked at me twice, Taylor? And be honest with yourself. I sparked your interest because of what I was.”
“I didn’t even know who you were then,” I reminded him.
“You knew I was dangerous. I was forbidden, and that’s what attracted you to me. The light in you needs my darkness, same as my darkness needs your light.” His fingers went back to smoothing over my skin. “We need each other to survive and thrive. And anyway, you don’t need to worry about such things. As long as you are mine, completely and utterly mine, then even if I am taken out of the picture, you will always be protected. I promise you that much.”
His words were intended to put my mind at ease, but they had the opposite effect.
