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I pushed away the thought, not willing to acknowledge the side effects of my pregnancy with Sean as I stood and brushed my teeth.
We made quick work of getting ready, and I rushed Sean out the door, following Andrei closely to the armored van. I didn’t tell either of them what concerned me as Andrei brought Sean to the school and we watched him go inside.
“Hey, can we make a quick pitstop at the pharmacy?” I asked.
I expected Andrei to ask questions. He wasn’t one to blindly go places when out, but he didn’t say anything as he switched into the turning lane and made his way in that direction. I rushed inside, leaving him at the doorway, and grabbed the first pack of tests I found. I kept them at my side and then secured them in a bag as Andrei escorted me back to the car and drove me home.
“Are the contents of that bag a secret?” he finally asked.
“No,” I joked, rolling my eyes and trying to act nonchalant. But when I didn’t say anything more, I saw his curiosity turn to suspicion.
“Are you sick?” he asked.
“Andrei,” I groaned. “The last thing I want to do is talk about my stomach bug.”
It was only a bit of a lie. Ihadthrown up my breakfast this morning, and it may have been a stomach bug if these tests came back negative. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d had my cycle. I’d been so busy and worried about my safety that I hadn’t bothered to think about it.
We made it back to the house, and I rushed inside, hoping to avoid contact with anyone else until the bag was secured in the bathroom and nobody else would find evidence of my concerns.
Mercifully, I made it. I peed on the stick, placed the cap on, and tucked it into a drawer as I left the room and closed the door behind me. But then, when I couldn’t stop pacing, I strode back toward the bathroom and picked the test up, eyeing the digital countdown. What would I do if I was pregnant? Right now was the most dangerous possible time for it, and we hadn’t been expecting it, but… we also hadn’t used any protection. We’d been asking for this to happen since sleeping together the first time.
I looked back down at the test, my heart lurching as I read the single word scrawled across the front of it.
Pregnant.
“Are you in here?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin and tucked the test into my back pocket just in time for Nadia to round the corner and smile at me.
“Hey,” she greeted chipperly, giving a small wave. “I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?”
I couldn’t lie to Viktor about this. I was pregnant, and prior to now, I’d had no intention of ever having another child. I hadn’t meant for this to happen, but what had I done to prevent it? Viktor was pleased about having one son, but what would he do in the baby stage of a child? They were difficult. Sean was a good kid now, but he hadn’t slept through the night for nearly two years. Would Viktor be able to handle that?
A million thoughts pounded into my mind relentlessly as all the possibilities of the situation obliterated me.
“Are you okay?” Nadia asked, stepping forward and resting a hand on my arm.
I whipped my gaze up to her and feigned a smile. I couldn’t tell her what I’d just discovered, especially not until I told Viktor about the pregnancy. How would he react? I wouldn’t blame him for being furious. He’d probably assumed I was on birth control, and—
“Ciara,” Nadia pushed her tone a bit more frantic.
“I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head and forcing all thoughts of pregnancy from my mind. I could act like everything was okay long enough to talk to Nadia, and then I’d spiral later when I had the time and space to think. “Everything that’s happened recently is just hitting me at once. It’s really not a big deal.”
“Sweetie, itisa big deal, and you don’t have to downplay it for me. Having people out for your blood is probably the most difficult thing anyone could be facing.”
Being pregnant in the midst of it all was even more difficult.
“I’m fine,” I lied, taking a step back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. It’s just not the best time for me, I guess. What’s up?”
“I can come back later…”
But I could tell from her expression that she didn’t want to come back later. She probably had a busy schedule, especially because of me being here. I didn’t want to waste more of her time. “No, stay. What did you need to tell me?”
“I was just thinking about what we talked about before. You know, what I told you about Damien?” I nodded. “I feel like I was selfish.”
I furrowed my brows. “What do you mean, you were selfish?”
“I told you not to tell Viktor, and I did that because I care about my brother. I don’t want him to get into trouble, and I don’t want anything to happen to him. But if he’s planning something against you, I think Viktor should know. I told you to keep my suspicions between us, but…” She released a long exhale. “Maybe we should tell Viktor.”
