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Today marks the halfway point of Will’s trip to Europe. He let me know when he landed in Copenhagen, as he does when he safely arrives in each new city. A text is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of a relationship, but knowing I’m the first person he thinks of, even though he set me free—or I freed myself—makes this freedom from the constraints of his life less sweet.

I miss him more and more every day. And maybe it doesn’t help that I have a perpetual reminder of my months with Will in the constant presence of Bruce and Aziz.

As much as I wanted to resist the ceaseless monitoring of my life, it hasn’t been so bad. Aziz works the day shifts and accompanies me to work and out for groceries and whatnot. It was even kind of fun having his company when I went plant shopping since he has a serious green thumb and was quite interested in helping me choose the perfect shrubs and flowers for the winter-blooming garden I’m designing for Sophie and Nick in Lily Valley.

And Bruce? He actually chose to work the night shift, which seemed crazy to me until two weeks into having him camped out in my chair while Georgia either worked or they watched TV.

Getting up in the middle of the night to pee is unusual for me, so when I didn’t see him in the living room, I might have acted without thinking.

I flung open our outside front door to see if he was in the garden, which set off the alarm to warn us we had an unauthorized entry. I’m not sure how a real kidnapper would have reacted to seeing a butt-naked mountain of a man burst from my sister’s bedroom with a pistol in-hand, but I can tell you it sent me diving right back under my duvet.

I’m still shocked that I didn’t see the signs of their budding love affair. Clearly, I’m off my game since normally I notice small details and subtle cues in people’s behavior without even trying. I’m not myself, and I don’t like it.

Georgia’s been doing her best to make me feel better, reminding me that we all see what we want to see in difficult situations, and not noticing that she and Bruce had developed feelings for each other is simple self-preservation—I subconsciously didn’t want to see her find what I’ve just lost.

But it doesn’t make me feel better. It just makes me want to figure out how to be happy in Will’s world.

I look at the clock and do the math. It’s 9:13 p.m. in Copenhagen, which means Will is probably winding down, but not asleep yet. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t call him until I knew I could have a conversation without crying. Today feels like that day.

Since he’s been leaving me voice messages on WhatsApp, that’s what I use. I hit Call with my video on. The phone rings four times, and I’m about to hang up when he answers.

“Hey. Wow. I’m—wow—surprised you’re calling. Happy, of course. How are you?”

Will is sitting on a couch that must be in the middle of a room since I can see open French doors and Aiden pacing behind him.

“Hi, am I catching you at a bad time?” I ask.

“Yeah, no, I mean.” Will must follow my eyes since he looks over his shoulder. “Oh, Aiden is trying to memorize the one-liners for tomorrow. There are a couple he keeps mixing together.” Will scowls and smiles at the same time.

“You look … relaxed. I guess having Aiden take on some of the delivery has been working well?”

Will nods but looks toward his lap. He seems distant. I expected this call might be a little awkward, but I get the feeling he doesn’t want to talk to me.

“OK, well, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I really love the messages you’re leaving and that I’m sorry I haven’t called before now, but I didn’t want to add to your stress and I figured having me tell you that I miss you wouldn’t be particularly helpful, so …” I gasp in a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

“It’s nice to hear your voice. I miss you too. Do you think you might want to have dinner when I get home … in two weeks? I’ll have a few days before I have to leave again.”

That feels like a brush-off. Like Will is trying to get off the call.

“You seem busy or distracted or something.”

“Sorry. I guess I am. Copenhagen is an important city, and we didn’t have our patter quite right today. I was off.”

“I’ll let you go. Call me when you’ve wrapped up tomorrow and have some time to catch up? I have gossip about my security detail you might find interesting.”

Normally, that would have piqued his interest. There’s no way he’d have left that to sit for a day. But Will smiles, a little too large, and says, “Will do.”

I’m not sure what the protocol is for telling the man you walked out on that you love him, so I mouth it as little more than a whisper. But Will doesn’t see since he’s looked away.

“Bye, then,” I say.

He looks back. “Bye, then.”

The line goes dead, and so do I.

I feel sick. Something is very wrong. Obviously, I waited too long to return Will’s calls. He’s come to terms with my decision and has moved on.

Thankfully, I’m on my lunch break, inside the building, so I don’t have security crawling all over me like a creeping vine. I pull myself together and get back to work, talking to plants who are so much easier to understand than humans.

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