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Which made it all the more terrifying.
Garret shifted his hand between her thighs and aftershocks rolled through her. He made himself more comfortable on the couch, holding her on his lap, silent.
What was he thinking? Did he regret what they’d just done? Shoving those thoughts aside, she brushed her lips over his jaw, his throat, moving lower, shifting to have better access to his clothing.
“Darcy, no.”
“But—”
“Gram will be home soon.” He held her hands, bussed his lips against her forehead. “You were beautiful. This was wonderful. But I should go.”
Tears pricked her eyelids and she blinked rapidly. “I know.” But she didn’t want it to end. Didn’t want reality to intrude even though it was crashing back in drowning waves. She was too impulsive. She shouldn’t have let things go so far, shouldn’t have been so eager, but—
Garret hugged her close and raised her head with a hand under her chin, his mouth finding hers with unerring accuracy. And just like that her heart kicked up speed, the trembling started deep inside.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Darcy. I’d never deliberately hurt you. Whatever happens, will you please remember that?”
And there it was. Reality. He wanted her to remember that—if he chose Jocelyn?
When,notif.“I’ll try.”
“YOU’RE AWFULLY QUIET. Something happen back at the gym?”
Nick’s voice startled Darcy from her thoughts. She hadn’t been able to concentrate all day. All she could think about was Garret and what had happened between them last night.
Was she more like her mother than she thought? A few pretty words and she gave in? She glanced over her shoulder and saw Matt in the backseat playing a handheld game, oblivious to the adults thanks to the earphones tucked in his ears. Would she have a boy like Matt? A little girl? What kind of shape would she be in when she gave birth if she let herself fall for Garret only to be cast aside? Getting closer to Garret had seemed like a wonderful idea last night, but in the harsh light of day—Face it, you acted just like Mom.
She settled herself against the seat and tried to stave off the upset and embarrassment. She’d never done that before, gotten so close to a guy so soon after meeting. Stephen had said he’d practically had to pry her thighs apart and that was after dating him nearly six months. She didn’t do easy, didn’t do one-night stands, didn’t feel like she owed a guy anything just because he bought her dinner. So why did she want to do all those things and more with Garret?
“Darcy?”
“Do you ever wonder,” she asked softly, “if you’re making the right decisions?”
Nick smiled. “Only every day. Are you talking about parenting or something else?”
“Life in general. I want…I want whatever happens next to be right for both me and the baby. And I really need it to happen quickly given, well, this,” she said, indicating her belly. “Rosetta says I’ll go into labor soon because I’ve cleaned the apartment from top to bottom and washed everything that wasn’t attached to something.”
Nick chuckled as he drove her home to the condo. “I remember Matt’s mom doing that.”
She glanced at Matt again. The child was oblivious to their conversation but she lowered her voice to be sure. “What happened? If you don’t mind my asking?”
Thirty seconds passed before he shrugged. “She had stars in her eyes at the thought of being a Tulane and moving to the top of the mountain. When she realized I wasn’t going to go crawling back to my parents and marrying me meant she was just going to get me, she left. But she left the best thing between us behind.” He cleared his throat, his jaw locking and unlocking at his thoughts. “It hasn’t been easy, but kids are resilient, Darcy. They’ll love you no matter how screwed up things get sometimes.”
She let that pass without comment. She loved her mother because she was her mother, but a deep, caring love? If not for Nana’s love until her passing and a deep-rooted sense of right and wrong she wouldn’t knowhowto love her baby. Her mom hadn’t taught her that. But was her version of love dark and twisted? Was it theright wayto love or was it only a matter of time before she screwed that up, too? “Do you think your parents regret not being close to you?” The question slipped out before she could stop it. “I can’t believe I asked that. How rude, Nick, I’m sorry. My mom and I are—We have a lot of problems, and I’m worried they’ll carry over and come between me and my baby. That the pattern will repeat. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive about you and your family.”
“It’s okay. And the answer is yes. I do, too. But I can’t see them making any other decision at the time.” He grimaced. “I did the right thing by leaving, they did the right thing by setting down an example for my brothers and sister. Who’s right? Some people need distance to be themselves and I’m one of them. Maybe you are, too. Things are undeniably tense and awkward when I’m with my family, but short visits work well. Usually no one gets hurt that way.”
She smiled sadly. Would short visits work with her mother?Only if she’d want to see you.Who wanted to live their life that way? Waiting for a phone call from her mother to say it was okay to come visit? A phone call that probably would only come when her mother was between men, canceled at the last minute if the guy came back or a new one entered? No, she wasn’t going to do that, put her child through the drama. She had to build relationships and connections on her own, for them both.
With a man who wasn’t sure where he wanted to be?
“No matter how hard you try, you can’t live for other people. You have to be your own person first, a person you can live with so that whoever you’re involved with can’t make or break your happiness.”
Wise advice. Until the baby came and she recovered, she was stuck in town with Garret. That was a given. But what about afterward? What did a person do when she was sure what the right decision was but wasn’t ready to make it?
“GARRET, we need to talk.” Harry bulldozed his way into the office and shut the door.
Garret set the supply report aside and frowned at his boss. “I didn’t think you were coming in today. Something wrong?”
