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I settled on a stool at the bar, leaning back against the worn wooden counter as the band took their places. From here, I had a great view of the small stage area. The pub was fairly quiet, but those who were there had turned their attention to the stage, and a feeling of pride rose inside me. Pride that Huxley was up onstage, getting to do something he loved. His angry look had disappeared, replaced by concentration, and there was a look of pure joy in his eyes that made something inside me go all fucking soft and melty.
Get a fucking grip, Cole.
Then Huxley began to sing, and every single thought flew from my mind.
This was what he was born to do. He was so fucking talented. His black-tipped fingers danced across the strings of the glossy ebony electric guitar, his sexy voice sending shivers down my spine as he rasped into the microphone. I shifted in my seat, sliding my arm across my lap to hide my growing erection. Fucking hell. He was giving me a boner from just seeing him up on the stage. I hadn’t even known that was possible. How was I going to make it through the whole set list? My cock was going to be seriously unhappy with me.
I managed to calm my dick down by reminding myself of how unimpressed our parents would be if they knew that their sons had recently defiled their pristine kitchen and concentrated on taking slow pulls from my pint as the band began their next track. Forcing myself to focus on things other than my hot-as-fuck stepbrother, I let my gaze drift across the rest of the band. Tom was playing a red electric guitar and harmonising with Huxley on the choruses. I knew he was good because he’d shown me video clips at work before, but it was different seeing him in action in person. Curtis was on the drums, pounding out a rhythm, and Rob played what I thought was a bass guitar, crooning into his mic every now and then.
They were amazing. Maybe I was biased because I knew Hux and Tom, but based on the reception from the pub patrons, probably not. Quite a few people were up on their feet, pressing closer to the stage, cheering and singing along with the lyrics, and more were piling into the pub. I didn’t recognise the song, but I made a mental note to get the set list from Huxley or Tom afterwards so I could learn the songs they were singing. I wanted to be involved. Yeah, I could only just about carry a tune, but that wasn’t the point, was it? The point was to be supportive. Fuck it. Maybe I could help them out some other way. I knew a lot of people. There had to be a way to get them some more publicity. Maybe I could look into them doing a charity gig for my work, perhaps. Or maybe… My mind raced. I was sure one of my bosses had mentioned that he had a brother or cousin or someone that owned a music studio somewhere south of the river…
Tugging my phone from my pocket, I fired off a quick email and then settled back to watch the band. The next song came to an end, and Huxley glanced over at Tom, mouthing something to him that I couldn’t see. Tom grinned and nodded, and then Huxley motioned for one of the pub staff members to come forwards. They conferred quietly for a minute before the guy disappeared into the crowd. He returned with a stool, which he passed up to Huxley. When Huxley had placed the stool behind his mic and adjusted the stand height, he headed over to the side of the stage and brought out his acoustic guitar.
Rob took his place behind the keyboard to the left of the stage as Huxley lowered himself onto the stool and began to strum his guitar softly. He searched the crowd, his eyes finding mine, a tiny smile curving over his lips as he sang the opening lines of “Strawberries & Cigarettes” by Troye Sivan, holding my gaze the entire time.
It gave me fucking goosebumps. There was nothing that could’ve made me take my eyes off him, not even if our parents had suddenly appeared.
This was so much worse than I’d thought. I was in way too deep.
When the song had finished and Tom announced that the band was taking a break, I found myself sliding from my bar stool and making my way through the crowd, all the way up to the stage.
“You’re fucking amazing,” I whispered when I reached Huxley, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes rimmed with smudged black liner.
“Yeah?” He gave me a small, almost shy smile as he placed his acoustic guitar back on its stand. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, probably with the adrenaline from performing onstage. Then again, my heart was racing, and that had everything to do with the boy standing right in front of me, close enough to reach out and touch.
“Yeah. I mean it. You’re amazing,” I repeated, and his smile widened. Picking up the black electric guitar, he bit down on his lip, lowering his gaze to the scuffed wooden boards beneath our feet.
“I sang that song for you. It…reminds me of uh, you, I guess. You know. The whole strawberries thing.”
My eyes widened as I replayed his words in my mind. It reminded him of me? And he chose to sing it…for me? “Fuck.Fuck. I wish—”
“I know.” His lashes swept up as his eyes met mine again, his smile disappearing. “But we can’t.”
Reaching out, I placed my hand on his wrist, lightly squeezing, the only touch I’d allow myself to give him, even though I wanted so much more. My other hand landed on his mic stand, my fingers curling around the cool metal as I held his gaze. I couldn’t disguise the crack in my voice when I replied. “I know. I’ll try…I’m trying…I can’t—”
“Cole.”
I shook my head, taking a step back and letting my hand fall from his arm. “Don’t. It’s okay. I’m, uh, gonna get another pint. I’ll see you after, yeah?”
He gave me a sad smile as I walked away.
17
Do you know what doesn’t work? Exposure therapy. Not when it came to me and Huxley. Ever since he’d officially moved back in, it had been an exercise in torture. Not only that, but it also felt like I’d had to almost constantly listen to our parents talking about us being brothers and being a family, and I honestly couldn’t stand it. I wanted Huxley more than ever, and it was taking everything in me to hide it.
Hux himself didn’t seem so affected, but he’d spent a lot of time in his room with his guitar, so I couldn’t help wondering if he was trying to avoid spending time with me for the same reasons I was trying to keep my distance from him. Every time I looked at him, I wanted to kiss him again, so I was doing my best to stay away unless our parents were there as a buffer.
The attraction would fade soon. It always did.
“Cole.” My mum interrupted my thoughts, peering around my bedroom door. “You’re not working tonight, are you?” I shook my head, and she smiled. “Could you come downstairs? David and I have something we’d like to speak to you about.”
“Uh, yeah. Alright.” Climbing to my feet, I followed her downstairs. David was in the living room, standing in front of the fireplace, but all my attention was taken by Huxley, who was sprawled on one of the sofas. I hadn’t seen him since yesterday, and my eyes drank him in like he was a glass of water in the desert. Fuck, why did I want him so badly?
His gaze met mine, and a flush appeared on his cheeks. He bit down on his lip, quickly looking away. Yeah…I was pretty sure he was at least a bit interested in me, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
“Ah, Cole. Take a seat.” David pointed to the sofa Huxley was sitting on. I took a seat as far from Hux as I could, while my mum crossed the room to stand with David.
When David had tugged my mum into his arms, he cleared his throat. “Now that the two of you are finally being civil and acting like the brothers you now are, we would like to try something new.” He paused dramatically. “Family bonding nights.”
