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Lyric responds that they are on their way over. After dropping Winnie off at her house, Trigger turns out of her neighborhood and heads in the direction of my studio. When he pulls into the parking lot next to his bike, he puts the car in park and makes no moves to get out.
Turning in his chair to face me, he runs his hand along his beard. “Are you feeling alright? You looked a little questionable for a minute there.”
A nervous laugh bubbles out of me. “All the talk of birth and things made me extremely nauseous. I guess I just haven’t truly thought about giving birth. I kind of talked myself into preparing for a c-section.”
“We should ask Dr. Murphy about that this week.” My nerves get the best of me with his intense gaze, so I turn my head to face out the windshield, towards my studio.
I can’t wait for the sign I bought to get here. I ordered a large purple marquee with the name and two ballet slippers to be installed above the front door. The price tag on it almost gave me a heart attack, but Winnie reminded me that I no longer have to save every penny for my studio. Now I get to use my savings on adding to it or spoiling the twins.
I’ve had Maria and Tank footing most of my bill since staying with them, but it’s time I start paying for things on my own. I’m hoping to open the studio soon and start making money that way, since I can obviously no longer work at the club.
The thing about being so in tune with someone is that you can tell their eyes are on you, even when you aren’t even looking at them. You can just feel it. That’s how I can tell Trigger hasn’t removed his eyes from me. I can feel them burning a hole in my side.
I’m finding it harder and harder to admit to myself that I only ever viewed him as a friend or fuck buddy before. Each day, I’m starting to realize that maybe he’s right. Maybe we were teetering on the fence of blurring the lines, and neither of us wanted to admit it at the time.
“What is it?” I finally work up the courage to ask. I can practically hear the gears in Trigger’s brain turning from two feet away.
He finally turns his gaze off of me, letting out a sigh as he runs his hands over his curly hair. “Tonight just got me thinking of some things.”
“What’s that?”
“Can I be there?”
My brow furrows in confusion as I turn in my seat, fully facing him now. “Can you be where?”
“At the hospital when you have the babies.”
I rear back in surprise as his question throws me off. “Of course you can be at the hospital.”
“I mean in the room with you.”
There was never any question about whether I thought Trigger would be there or not. I always just assumed that he would be. His question sets me back and now I’m wondering if he ever planned to be there in the first place.
“What makes you think that you couldn’t be in the room with me? You’re their dad.” Trigger takes a deep breath and remains silent. Panic bubbles up in my chest as I automatically think the worst. Maybe he didn’t want to be there before tonight.
If he didn’t want to be there, though, why would he have insisted on coming to the birthing class?
“Unless you don’t want to be there,” I whisper.
Trigger’s eyes widen as he turns in the chair as much as he can. He reaches across the center console and takes my hand in his. “No! I definitely want to be there. God, you have no idea how fucking much.”
“Then you will be there. I would never take that experience away from you, Jamie.”
His lips purse together as one of the corners lift in a small smile. “Thank you.”
I feel bad ruining the moment, but the incessant vibrating phone on my lap is telling me that there are two very impatient women probably already at my house.
“Do you need to get that?” he says, nods down to the irritating device, a hint of disappointment in his voice.
I click the side button, silencing the phone and smile up at him. “It’s the girls. They are waiting for me at my house.”
His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Ah? Have they been to see it yet?”
“No, so they may just be sitting in the wrong driveway knowing those two.”
“Lyric and Brenna?”
I nod. “Does it feel weird to call her Brenna now?”
