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She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Of course that’s all you would hear! Did you hear me? You almost died!”
“I love you too, Red,” I say softly. “More than any damn thing on this earth.”
Her cheeks turn pink as she smiles and lays her forehead against my chest again, this time much softer than the first.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought we lost you.”
I take her face with my good hand, bringing it back up so I can look into her eyes. I caress her soft cheek with my thumb. “It would take a lot more than a fire to get me away from you, Red.”
She turns her body farther into mine and cuddles up next to me as well as she can with her growing belly on this small bed. I run the fingers on my good hand through her hair and sigh with contentment at the feel of her pressed against me. This is where she belongs.
“When did you change your mind?” I ask, gently.
“What do you mean?”
“About us.”
Letting out a deep breath, she turns her face up to look in my eyes. “It’s not that I never wanted to be with you, Jamie. I was just scared. I never want to end up like my parents. My therapist helped me figure that out.”
“Why would we end up like your parents?”
“Think about it. My parents weren’t anything serious until they got pregnant with me and then spent the rest of their lives together being miserable. We were just fooling around when I got pregnant.”
“So you automatically thought we would end up being miserable?”
“No, not necessarily. I didn’t want you to grow to despise me for getting pregnant and ruining your life.”
I squeeze her harder to me, pressing my lips to her forehead. “You could never ruin my life, Red. You and these babiesaremy life.”
A small smile lifts the corner of her lips before she settles her head against my chest. “I just don’t want my kids to ever feel the way I felt.”
“As long as you’re happy, those kids will be happy. I will do everything in my power to always keep a smile on all three of your faces.”
“I know,” she whispers. “Thank you for not giving up on me, Jamie.”
“Never.”
19
PEBBLES
Mexican Food in the Bath
Two weeks later.
Things have been crazy since the fire at the bakery. Trigger has spent every spare minute with the club working alongside his brothers on trying to get to the bottom of what’s been going on.
Classes have started at the studio and I am so pleased with how successful it’s going. We had a wonderful turnout. So many kids signed up that we had to add even more classes to the schedule. Clara spends every evening after her college classes teaching the young dancers of Desert Rose with me. I couldn’t have asked for a better helper. Although, with the amount of classes and me only getting more pregnant, I did decide to put out another ad for an additional teacher.
Even though Trigger and I exchanged the ‘L-word’ in the hospital, we have yet to repeat it. With everything going on with the club and being so busy with the studio, we haven’t really had much time to discuss our relationship. He still makes sure I eat lunch and take my vitamins every single day, but he isn’t as overbearing about it.
He’s still holding back with me, and I’m starting to feel like maybe I waited too long. Maybe now that I’ve admitted my feelings to him, he’s realized he doesn’t truly want me the way he thought he did. I’m trying not to succumb to those negative thoughts, but it’s been hard with barely seeing him. I’ve never been a person that assumes the worst in situations, but ever since that day, I can’t help it.
It sucks to feel like half of my identity has been taken away. I miss the carefree, always happy Pebbles. I want to be her again. Every day gets a little bit better, but I’m just not there yet. Sophia says she sees amazing improvement at each appointment. I just wish I could feel it.
I’ve passed the halfway mark in my pregnancy and I’m finally starting to feel somewhat human again. I didn’t even realize how exhausted I had been until a few days ago when I woke up with a ton of energy. I’ve spent every moment possible at the studio trying to plan for the future and how I can make it the most successful it can be.
The girls helped me decide that it was best to wait until after the twins are born to start my adult classes. I feel as big as a house already and can’t even stomach the thought that I’m only going to get bigger before these babies come. It probably wouldn’t be the smartest idea to swing around a pole at five months pregnant with twins.
