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“Stupid fucking bridesmaids. Cunts like that remind me why I never fucking had any.”
“Thanks, bitch.”
Sparrow rolls her eyes at Lilah and grabs the closest thing to her, which happens to be a cake cutter. “I’d like to take this and cut the maid of honors fucking throat.”
“Nah, not sharp enough.” Lilah casually reaches onto the counter and slides a different knife across the surface. “That’ll have more of the effect you’re looking for.”
Sparrow eyes the handle of the serrated knife and waves it in the air. “I bet this one would even cut through the bone.”
My eyes jump between the two women as they ever-so-coolly volley back and forth about slicing a woman’s neck.
“Did you guys do time in the women’s prison down the road while I was away?” I finally ask as Sparrow spins the large knife.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Lilah chuckles, smiling at me with a sinister glint in her eye.
“Uhm yeah, Princess, I’d like to know. Need to know what I’m getting myself into here.”
Sparrow throws her head back and cackles. “Wooh! That was just the entertainment I needed.” Wiping the tears from her eyes, she sets the weapon back on the counter in front of her. “But seriously, I’m five seconds away from committing murder and getting arrested, never to be seen again, if I have to spend five more minutes in a room with that bird-brained twat.”
“What’s she doing?” Lilah is back to being as serious as ever, as if she didn’t just make me question her sanity and my safety.
“Whatisn’tshe doing? That’d be a shorter list.” Sparrow dunks her finger in the leftover frosting in the huge metal bowl. “I stopped by the dressing room to give them their schedule for the rest of the day, and she threw it away! She then took out a handwritten minute-by-minute schedule. So, instead of telling her friend that we have a strictly planned schedule that took usmonthsto plan over hundreds of emails, texts, and coffee meetings, the bride took her friend’s and handed it to me! What the fuck am I even here for?”
“To look gorgeous?” Lilah winks at her.
Sparrow rolls her eyes, sticking her tongue out at her best friend. “Suck up.”
“Ah, come on, Spar. Fuck them. You already got paid, yeah?”
Sparrow nods.
“Then they can all fuck off. Point them where to go when they walk, and then fuck it after that.”
“Hmm. I like it,” she shrugs. “You’re right. Fuck ’em.”
I shake my head at the odd display of girly shit happening right in front of me.
“You have a better idea?” Sparrow snarks my way.
“Yeah, go back to the room and tell the bride she hired you for a reason. If she doesn't like what you did for her, she can figure out the rest of this stupid ass wedding by her-damn-self.”
“I like it. Alright, I’m going back in there. You guys put the cake out, and I’ll meet you back here in fifteen.”
Sparrow scurries out the door before either of us can stop her. Lilah turns an accusatory eye my way, and I shrug.
“This could be bad for her business.”
“Like you just said, babe, fuck ‘em.”
Lilah laughs.
I roll the cart meant to take the cake out to the reception hall up to the counter. I’m going to be so fucking pissed at myself if I drop this damn thing. Lilah holds the cart against the counter while I grab hold of the base. I gently slide the heavy-ass dessert towards me.
“Fuck, this thing is a lot heavier than it looks.”
“Don’t drop it,” Lilah squints at me.
“I’m not going to fucking drop it,” I curse.
