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I wasn’t a child and I didn’t make those kinds of promises, but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with my dramatic sister either.
“You don’t have to worry about me and Emma. Trust me.”
Chapter 4
Emma
Wehadn’tpickedroomsyet, but I didn’t think Krista had a preference, so I shut myself in the bedroom at the top of the stairs—a room with a big window overlooking the back yard, a beautiful sleigh bed, and a fireplace— and called my mom. She was still only in her early fifties, but technologically challenged, so I had to talk her through accepting the FaceTime call, even though it was no different than a regular phone call.
And then, Lily was on my screen babbling away and trying to reach for me and I was crying and then she was crying and then my mom was crying and before I knew it, I’d watched Mom put Lily to bed and silently sat staring at her as she slept, Mom and me only occasionally speaking to each other as we both looked at my daughter.
But, I knew I couldn’t stay on the phone all night and eventually we hung up. I was starting to get tired too, but my luggage was still downstairs and I needed to say goodnight to Krista, but I was too chicken to leave the bedroom.
Kyle Beckford.
Maybe I’d been lying to myself this whole time, maybe part of me was excited to be at his house, to feel close to him again even in some small way. And yes, maybe part of me was hoping I’d see him, even if Krista stressed he wouldn’t be around.
That wish to see him came true and then some. I’d almost seenallof Kyle Beckford.
Like a little kid, I listened at the door but couldn’t hear Kyle and Krista talking anymore. I knew I was in Kyle’s house, and if he was staying, I couldn’t avoid him forever, but I thought I could at least avoid him for the rest of the night.
Without a creak, I opened the bedroom door. My rolling suitcase and my overnight bag were sitting right on the other side with a note from Krista.
I brought these up for you but didn’t want to disturb you.
I’m heading to bed. See you in the morning.
XX Krista
I brought my bags inside, thankful for Krista for the millionth time in my life.
We were only at the condo for three nights, but I still liked to unpack and settle in. I pulled out my sweaters and my jeans, my leggings and my t-shirts, and thought of Bella and her dress. I was never the best dresser, I never really matched, and I somehow always managed to spill something on myself, but I wasn’t always the scrub I’d become. When I was younger, I always dressed cute, and that was largely because I saw Kyle every day and I was always trying to impress him.
I tucked my panties into the empty dresser drawer, pleased that I’d at least kept in the habit of always wearing sexy underwear. It was one simple trick to make me feel better about myself on the bad days, a secret that no one knew about.
That led me to think about Kyle and the heated moment between us in the kitchen. I thought, maybe, possibly, for just a moment Kyle was flirting with me. He told me I looked good, he moved closer to me, and then there was the way he was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me.
But, I didn’t trust myself when it came to him. It could’ve all been in my head, nothing but wishful thinking and an old crush dying hard.
But what about the way he remembered your drink of choice?a small voice inside my head asked.
No,I told myself firmly.I can’t go down that road again.
I then reminded myself what he said about Brendan always being an ass, meaning I was an idiot for marrying him. That might’ve ended up being true, but I didn’t know at the time that I was being an idiot, plus he was Lily’s dad. As much as I hated that fact, I knew I couldn’t completely trash him in front of her. There was always a chance he’d realize his mistake and want to be her dad. I had to hold out hope of that for her, even if I didn’t think it was likely to come true.
The only thing left in my suitcase was the bathing suit I’d tossed in when Krista reminded me there was a hot tub. It used to be my favorite, thick blue and white stripes with hot pink stitching, but I hadn’t worn it since pre-Lily and I knew the triangle top and thin ties on the bottoms wouldn’t look as good on me as they used to, but I didn’t care if Krista saw me in it.
Now, Kyle was around, and I definitely didn’t want him to see me in it.
I thought back to the kitchen again and the way he’d pressed his leg against mine. It felt so good to be close to him again, and Kyle didn’t move away, even when he seemed to notice how close we were.
The look on his face when he was about to ravage Bella, how hard and taut his body was, the way his hands could hardly conceal his throbbing—
Stop, I told myself. I was far too turned on and I hadn’t brought a toy. I knew I could use my fingers but that always left me feeling so unsatisfied.
I looked at the bikini in my hands and then walked to the window overlooking the backyard. All the outside lights were still on, illuminating the hot tub and the halo of stonework pathway around it. It would’ve been hopeless to try to sleep with the way I was feeling, all worked up over Kyle, both angry and turned on.
Padding back over to the bedroom door, I creaked it open again and listened carefully. I didn’t hear anything. It sounded like maybe Kyle went to bed too. I reasoned that if I went in the hot tub now, not only would no one have to see me in my tiny bikini, but I could finally, finally get some relaxing alone time, which, if I was being honest with myself, I was going crazy without.
