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As if I could forget. “Yes, and Blake.”
“I love playing with Ethan. I love him, Mommy.”
My heart swells with warmth at her words, grateful that Emma has found a friend in Ethan. “I’m glad, sweetie. He’s a nice boy, isn’t he?”
I’d been worried about leaving her with Olivia all day, I know I have to work but it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty about it. I want to be with her all the time but it’s not realistic. To hear that she’s getting on so well with Ethan is just wonderful. It eases the worry that gnaws inside of me and makes me feel better about the situation.
“He is!” Emma nods enthusiastically. “And guess what, Mommy?”
“What?” I ask.
“I think you look nice in Livy’s dresses, and Ethan’s Daddy says so too. He said you are pretty!”
A blush creeps up my cheeks, caught off guard by Blake’s comment and the way Emma shares it so innocently. When did he say that? “Well, that’s very kind of him to say, but let’s focus on getting you ready for bed, shall we?” I reply, trying to divert the attention away from myself.
With a sigh of resignation, Emma finally agrees and climbs into her bed. I tuck her in, making sure the blankets are snug and secure. As I settle down beside her, she reaches for her favorite storybook which is a book of fables that she keeps on her bedside cabinet.
“Can you read me a story, Mommy?” she asks, her eyes heavy with sleep but still resisting.
I nod, opening the book to her favorite story. As I begin to read, my voice fills the room with the familiar tale that brings comfort and tranquillity. Emma’s eyelids grow heavier with each word, and soon her breathing becomes steady and even. I wait for a few moments before I gently place the book down quietly. I don’t want to startle her awake and be forced to start the story again. A sense of peace washes over me as I watch my little girl drift off to dreamland. I hope her dreams are filled with laughter and friendship.
“I love you, my sweet Emma,” I whisper, my voice filled with tenderness. With a contented sigh, I rise from the bedside, walking backward slowly until I’m out the door. I leave the door open so I can hear in case she calls for me in the night. The room is bathed in the gentle glow of the nightlight.
Finally, with a moment to myself, I shower and get ready for bed, climbing under my sheets around nine. Lying there, I keep thinking about the day and the bittersweet mix of emotions Blake has stirred within me.
I reach for my phone and press Olivia’s name. As the line connects, I feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation. Olivia has always been my confidante, the one I turn to when my heart feels heavy with uncertainty or desires. I’m not sure why I’m calling her when the object of my confusion is her brother, but I need to talk to someone about it.
“Hey, Lily,” Olivia answers, her voice sounds a little wary. “Are you okay?” For a moment it throws me. She sounds a bit sad.
“Are you okay?” I ask, pushing the question back at her with worry.
“Yeah, just…” she sighs. “I’m tired. Might head up to bed early tonight.”
I laugh softly.
“We’re a right pair. I’m already in bed.”
“Living the dream, aren’t we?” she jokes, seemingly perking up. “What’s on your mind?”
“Yeah. Um…I wanted to talk to you about something,” I admit.
“Sure,” she replies.
I take a deep breath, attempting to gather my thoughts before plunging into the confession and the whirlpool of my emotions.
“Olivia, something strange is happening. It’s about Blake. I…I think I have feelings for him.”
There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line, and I can almost hear Olivia’s mind working to process the confession. Finally, her voice comes through, tinged with a mix of understanding and caution.
“Lily, I had a feeling this might happen,” she says gently.
“You did?” I ask, surprised. I almost expected her to be grossed out about it, but she sounds understanding. “I know it’s stupid. He’s married. You need to tell me to stop.” I sigh. “Why am I like this with men? I only seem to be interested in ones that aren’t interested in me.”
Olivia hesitates, humming and hawing for a second.
“I…I don’t think that this is one of those situations,” she says carefully.
Immediately, my traitorous heart skips in my chest. “What do you mean?” I ask. This conversation is not going where I thought it would.
