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The moment the smile drops from her face, I have to look away. She knows something is wrong, and her entire body tenses. Trying to find the right words to say, I look at my shoes. Everything I have thought up in my head over the last week disappears. Nothing seems right now that the moment is here.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Her voice is low and unsure. I hate that I’ve made this normally outgoing and confident woman quiet and nervous.
Running my hands down my face, I let out a groan. “This. I can’t do it anymore. Our relationship needs to end.”
A sob breaks out of her. When I finally look up, her eyes are filled with tears. “Did I…do something wrong? I-I thought we had a good week together. Why do you want to end us?”
I consider telling her the truth but know she will look down on me. All of our friends would. I have no backbone by allowing my dad to control my life this way. “You’re perfect, Em. I swear, it has nothing to do with you. It’s—”
“Don’t you dare say, ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’” she cuts me off. “I swear, Conrad, I will strangle you if you try pulling that on me.” Taking a deep breath, she straightens her shoulders. “Tell me the truth. Right now. I want the honest-to-God truth from you on why you are breaking up with me.”
Linking my hands behind my neck, I squeeze. Hard. “I can’t do that, Em.”
She stares at me. Like, really stares at me. It’s like she is seeing me for the first time, and I feel naked under her scrutiny. “Then get the fuck out of my apartment.”
“Em—”
“No!” she shouts. More tears are coming down her face as she comes forward and starts pushing on my chest. “Get the fuck out. Now. I hate you. I hate you, Conrad.”
Grabbing her hands, I stop her assault. She sobs and tries to pull her hands away. “No, no, no. You…you made me fall in love with you, you bastard. I hate you. Let me go.”
Love. She just said she fucking loves me.
“Em…”
“Don’t,” she whispers, tears falling freely from her eyes. “Just get out. Please.”
Letting go of her hands, I stare at the tearstained face of the most beautiful woman. Those crystal-blue eyes I have grown to love are bloodshot.
I let this go on for too long. I’m a downright bastard for stringing her along for six months when I knew our relationship had an end date.
Her shoulders slump. Without another glance, I turn and head out her front door. Before shutting it, I can hear her sobs coming through the hallway. That sound breaks me and with every step away from her, I crack even more.
Getting into my car, I slam my fist against the steering wheel. The dam breaks and tears stream down my face. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. Maybe my grandfather’s funeral when I was in sixth grade?
My palm makes contact with the wheel once, twice, a third time before I sit back, rubbing my eyes and trying to get the tears to stop coming. They flow and I realize how much it is hurting me to let her go. Never did I think a girl would affect me the way Emree has, yet here I am crying over losing her.
The thought of her sitting in that dark apartment alone pisses me off and part of me knows I should have waited to do this when Blaire would be home, but I also know that I could not put it off another day.
After controlling myself enough to drive, I head back to my house. The tears have since dried, but that ache in my chest is still there. When I pull into the driveway, I’m thankful that Camden’s Jeep is gone, so I don’t have to face him or Blaire. I know the two of them are going to give me shit when they learn about what I just did to Emree, and I’m not ready for that.
Walking in the front door, my roommates and Jules are all still sitting in the same spots from when I left. Maddox looks up and his eyebrows pinch together.
“What the hell is up with you?” he asks.
Ignoring him, I take the stairs two at a time to my room. On autopilot, I change into a pair of athletic shorts, a T-shirt, and tennis shoes, then grab my gym bag on the way out.
Once I am downstairs and at the front door, someone pauses the TV, and Levi is the one to ask me a question this time. “Seriously, man, you okay?”
Pausing with my hand on the doorknob, I don’t look at him but answer. “Just ruined my future because of my fucked-up family.” Without another word, I leave and get in my car.
The drive to our campus gym is short. Technically, the gym closes at seven, but upperclassman athletes get twenty-four-hour access with our key fobs. Once I park, I look around the parking lot and notice there is only one car there.
Inside, it’s quiet, with only the sound of the air conditioning and a single treadmill making noise. Without looking around, I head straight to where a few punching bags are hanging in the corner. Grabbing the gloves from my bag, I begin taking my frustrations out one blow after another.
Emree’s face, her beautiful fucking face, was crushed because of me. Her words keep running through my head.
She loves me. I let this woman fall in love with me when I knew nothing could come of this relationship. Who the fuck does that? There has to be something seriously wrong with me for me to have continued this relationship after I caught feelings for her when I knew we had an expiration date.
