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Grabbing Chloe’s hand and the bottle, I drag her to the living room. While most people in here are dancing, some are occupying the couches to talk or make out. A freshman from our soccer team, whose name I’ve forgotten, has a new ball chaser in his lap, and when I approach them, his eyes widen.
“Up,” I tell him.
He neglects the girl on the seat beside him and stumbles away, readjusting his pants.
Without saying a word, I take his seat and pull Chloe onto my lap so that she is straddling me. She smiles, seemingly happy with me being planBsince Camden is off the market. I chug more of the vodka before placing it on the table beside the couch and pull Chloe’s mouth to mine with my hand on the back of her neck.
She comes to me greedily, and it brings me back to the last time I slept with her. I said it was going to be the last time I would touch her because I am not a fan of being used, but right now, I need that. After the phone call with my dad and the realization that my life is almost over, I need to get out of my head, even if it is only for a moment.
Chloe runs her hands through my hair and starts grinding her hips against mine, and if I wasn’t already so buzzed, she might be able to get a reaction out of me. Though her overexaggerated noises are having the opposite effect on me.
Hands glide across my chest and another pair of lips latch on to my neck. When I open my eyes, I see the abandoned new ball chaser wanting to join in. Grabbing the bottle from beside me, I chug some more, welcoming the burn as both women touch and lick at my exposed skin.
Chloe’s hands are inside my button-down shirt, trailing my pecs and up my shoulders. New Girl nips and sucks at my neck and ear. Chloe smiles, running her hand through New Girl’s hair before pulling me back to her with a tug at the hair on the back of my head.
Over the music, I hear a loud gasp, and when I peek one of my eyes open, I take in the face of the girl who has consumed my every thought for over a month. Her mouth is wide open, and she brings her hand up to cover it. Tears well up in her beautiful blue eyes, and something inside me breaks. I should have never done this. I should have manned up and told her the truth, that I needed to break it off for family obligations. Anything but whatever the fuck I’m doing right now.
Chloe looks behind us and smirks at Emree. “You know, it’s rude to stare.”
That seems to snap Emree out of it because before anyone can say another word, she turns and runs out the door, my heart leaving with her.
I don’t move, even though I know I should. My legs feel like jelly, my head cloudy from all the liquor I consumed.
Chloe turns to me and smiles. “Now, where were we?” she purrs as she tries to pull my face back to hers.
Without saying anything, I get up, dumping her on the floor.
“What the hell, Conrad?”
Shaking my head, I grab the bottle of vodka. “Just get the fuck out.”
Breezing through the crowd that has abandoned their dancing to watch the drama, I make my way upstairs. After shutting and locking my door, I head toward my bed and collapse on top of my comforter. With the bottle of vodka still in hand, I take a few sips while I lie there, regretting everything that went down in the last hour.
I can’t hurt this girl. Emree is important to me, and I keep fucking up. She doesn’t deserve this, and yet I keep begging her to forgive me after I try to push her away. Isn’t that what I want? For her to leave me and hate me so she won’t take me back.
My life has been planned out since before I was born, and there is no way I can change the path my parents have for me. If I had a choice, I would give myself to Emree completely. She is the girl I could see myself with. And I’ve just devastated her.
Maybe this is for the best. Her hating me will make me playingTheBachelorwith the list of women my mother sends me easier. I need to stop hoping for a future with Emree and accept my destiny.
* * *
The next morning,after sobering up with a large glass of orange juice and a handful of pain medicine, I sit at the kitchen counter and reflect on my actions of last night. Emree didn’t deserve that, and even though I was trying to get her to hate me so that ending our relationship was easier, hurting her by fucking around with someone else was not how I should’ve handled it.
“Oh, you look rough,” Levi announces as he walks into the room.
My roommates and I are usually good about not overindulging in alcohol during the soccer season, but last night was a mishap for me.
“Thanks. I love hearing how great I look.”
Levi grabs the egg carton from the fridge and a loaf of bread off the counter. “Any particular reason why you were drinking so much last night?”
Sighing, I hang my head and stare at the countertop. “I fucked up with Emree.”
He laughs. “Dude, when aren’t you fucking up with her? I swear you’ve never acted like this with a girl. It’s like you’re doing everything to get her to not want to be with you, but you actually want her.”
The truth is, he’s right. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but Emree has been different. She came to one of our parties before the beginning of the semester, and the moment my eyes landed on her, it was as if none of the other girls there mattered. Her skin was sun-kissed, and she was wearing a pair of jean shorts that hugged her thick thighs perfectly. Her looks may have had me gravitating toward her, but Emree’s personality is what makes her stand out. She is loving and loyal to a fault. She cares deeply for the people around her, and you can see it right away with her best friend, my roommate’s girlfriend, Blaire.
Running my hands through my hair, I groan. Last night should have never happened, and I don’t want what we have to end. She is going to hate me for hooking up with Chloe, but my heart is with Emree. Hurting her like I did crushes me inside.
