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Thinking of a young Conrad who was deprived of love and affection and felt unwanted by his parents makes my heart clench. While he was a kid who grew up with everything someone could dream of in a material sense, he was missing one of the most important provisions a kid needs: their parents around.
“What did he say to you when you went to see him?”
Conrad sighs and sinks back into the sofa. “I went there prepared, Em, but it threw me off when he started laughing after I told him I plan to uphold all of what is expected of me, except marrying Liliana. While I tried coming to terms with having to live a loveless marriage, I couldn’t do it. Not only to myself but to you.”
Frustrated, I stand and begin pacing the area between the boys’ TV and coffee table before facing Conrad. “How can your father be that big of a jackass? His son says that he wants to live his life as he pleases, and the automatic response is to disown him? The boy he raised? His own flesh and blood?”
Conrad offers up a humorless laugh. “Not sure I would say my father raised me.”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a huff. “Beside the point. You are his son. He should want you to be happy. It isn’t like you said you would be walking away from the family business as well. You still wanted to hold up that end of the stupid obligation.”
Leaning forward, Conrad rests his forearms on his thighs. “You need to get it out of your head that my family is meant to be a normal one. They’re the furthest thing from that, and if you keep trying to figure out why my father treats his kids the way he does, you will make yourself mad.”
Feeling defeated, I make my way around the coffee table and plop down on the seat beside him. For some reason, the urge to be closer to Conrad is high right now. To comfort and reassure him that, while he broke my heart trying to uphold his duties, he is a wonderful man and doesn’t deserve a father who cares so little about him.
Resting my hand on his warm forearm, I give him a gentle squeeze. “Have I mentioned I hate your father?”
Offering up a soft smile, Conrad places his hand on top of mine. “Think you’ve mentioned that once or twice before.”
We sit there in silence, with Conrad caressing my hand with his thumb and me staring at the side of his face as he watches where we are touching. While I know he is trying to make light of his father’s treatment of him, I can see the stiffness in his shoulders and know this is weighing on him.
“Father aside, do you want to circle around to the subject of me being single now?”
While I was hoping to avoid this conversation since he brought up theLword and “someone,” I know it is inevitable that we talk about it, seeing as how he most likely just walked away from his family, his fortune, and his future for me.
“Almost missed that part,” I whisper, avoiding looking at him.
The movement on my hand halts, and I can feel Conrad’s blazing stare on the side of my face.
“I meant what I told him.”
My head snaps up at his confession.
“I love you, Emree.”
The words I have desperately wanted to tell him get caught in my throat. While I still love this man and probably always will, giving my heart over to him again is dangerous. Since the moment he broke it all those weeks ago, I’ve tried to mend the cracks he’s created. Could I easily give it back to him again?
Removing my hand from touching him, I scoot back enough to turn and square my shoulders. “My heart belonged to you, Conrad, but you put me last and that one decision shattered every bit of me. I’ve never been in love before, and quite frankly, I don’t let many people close enough to hurt me.”
The sides of his mouth turn down.
“Youhurtme, Conrad. Hurt me more than anyone has before, and while I still love you, I don’t know if I can put myself through that again.”
Conrad leans forward and grasps my hands in his. “Em, I swear you will always be first. I’m choosing you. I loveyou.”
Looking at the face of the man who holds my heart, I can’t help but wonder if he is telling the truth. Before the breakup, Conrad made me feel like I was his love and he cared for me, but then he seemingly left everything we had so easily. What if he does it again?
“I believe you love me, Conrad. My worry is that loving me is not enough for you. What happens after graduation when the life you had planned has changed? When you lose the safety net of your dad’s income? Are you going to be okay getting a regular old job and living the life of an average person?”
He doesn’t answer right away, and I can see the tables turning in his head. This isn’t something he has considered yet. “I can do it, Em. I promise, there is no way I will turn my back on you again.”
“I want to believe that, but getting my heart broken twice? I don’t know if I can handle that.”
His eyebrows push together at my confession.
Reaching forward, Conrad caresses my jaw with his rough hand and runs the pad of his thumb along my cheekbone. On instinct, I lean into the comforting touch. “You’re not worth letting go twice. I’d be an idiot of a man to not realize that.”
Staring into his eyes, I see the honesty in what he tells me. “Then prove it.”
