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“Watching you,” I said.
“Creepy much?”
I wiped my eyes with the heels of my palms. “When you were a little boy, I spent hours in your room every night, watching you breathe, as if I had to make sure you were.”
“I know.”
“You know? How? You were always sleeping and you were too young to even remember.”
“Oh I remember. I heard you every night, but I was pretending to sleep so you wouldn’t go.”
I blinked. “All this time you knew? You could feel me in your room?”
“Yes. I told you. It takes one to know one.”
How did I miss that? I knew I’d been making a lot of mistakes with him since his mother was killed, but it looked like I’d been missing thing way before that. “What do you mean you were pretending to sleep so I wouldn’t go?”
“I thought if I woke up, you’d think you were disturbing my sleep and you wouldn’t do it again…and I didn’t want you to stop. I liked it. I liked when you were there. It was like we were having a conversation with no words, in a language only the two of us could understand. I liked that.”
“Leo, I—”
“But you stopped anyway.”
“Only when I thought you were old enough to be on your own, when I thought you didn’t need me to watch over you anymore.”
“I thought I did something wrong that pushed you away. I tried so hard to get your attention, but it pushed you away from me even further.”
“What are you talking about? You were always so distant from me and anything related to la famiglia. You were always with your mother and—”
“I found solace in Mamma.” His breath became higher with rage. “The only parent that loved me and never rejected me. She was everything you’re not.”
He thinks I don’t love him? And rejected him? When have I ever?
“Is that what it was all about? You thought I only loved Mamma, and you hated me for it because you couldn’t own me? That’s what you do. You get so obsessed you need to own and never share. Trust me, I know the feeling. Is that why you’ve been punishing me ever since, taking away everyone I’ve ever loved? Mamma, Sia, Lina.”
“I had nothing to do with your mother’s death,” I warned.
“Your greed took her away from me, just like you took Lina.”
I banged my fists on the arms of the chair and jumped to my feet. “Being the capo was my right. It wasn’t greed or thirst for power that made me take that throne. I earned it, paid for it with blood. You would have known that if you’d been paying attention to the business, if you’d gotten involved as much as you should have.”
“I was thirteen.”
“And I’d been more than patient and protected you as much as I could. Back then, and with Anastasia, and even when you shot me.”
He laughed hysterically, and then he gestured at his body. “You call this protection?”
“It’d never been what I intended for you, Leo. You know that. Once I found out, I fixed it. I made them all pay. I’ll still make every single one of them pay.”
“Maybe, but what about Lina? Were you protecting me when you took her from my wedding, wearing my ring, so you could fuck her all you want, have her pregnant with another son because you couldn’t stand the one you already have?”
Anger bubbled up inside me. “Stop it!”
“Where is she?”
“None of your business.”
“I have a pretty good idea. Nicky searched for her all over the mansion and couldn’t find her. That only leaves one place you could have locked her up.”
