AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Her gaze grows distant. “I wish my dad could see me. He was always so proud of me, too. He kept telling me how excited he was for us to start working together.”
She sniffs and blinks several times while wiggling her nose as though trying to keep herself from crying. I’ve caught her in tears more than once since her father’s death. More than anything, I want to take her pain away, but I can’t. It’s something she’ll have to work through on her own.
“Do you know the last thing I said to him at the deli that day?” She doesn’t wait for my response. “I told him I’d never forgive him. I was so angry. Not just because he put himself and all of us in danger, but he lied to us. My whole life, he ingrained in me that honesty and integrity were the most important things a person can possess. And then he goes and steals money, not just from Mr. Sokolov, but from others. It’s like none of that ever meant anything.”
Two weeks ago I didn’t understand, either. Who would dare steal from the Bratva? From Aleksei? I palm Natalya’s cheek and turn her toward me. Her skin is so soft beneath my hand.
“Your father did what he felt he had to for his family. He loved you and your mother. You said it yourself, your mother’s treatments are expensive. Same with your schooling. He wanted to provide for both of you.” I rub my thumb over her skin. “Yes, he went about it the wrong way, but he did the best he could.”
Natalya blinks. “I’m surprised to hear you say that. Especially since…you know.”
“From the time I was fourteen when Aleksei’s father brought me into the fold and trained me, violence is all I’ve known. In our world, it’s about following orders. Kill or be killed. My job, what I do, I can’t change that. I didn’t enjoy what I would have had to do to your father. In fact, it would have been one of my biggest regrets in life.”
She cocks her head and presses herself into my hand. “Why is that?”
“Because I would have lost you before I ever had a chance to even have you.” I stare hard at Natalya, wanting her to see—to know—everything. “I’m not a good man, solnishko. I’ve done things most people would consider unforgivable. Even you. But because of who I am—who I work for—I will continue to do them. I won’t apologize for that. But there is one person on this earth who I would die for. And that person is you. You own my heart. It’s been yours for years.”
Her eyes widen and she straightens. “Are you…? Are you saying you love me?”
There’s no room in our world for softness. But I want to be soft for her, and her alone. “Yes, solnishko, I love you. I always have.”
Natalya cradles my face. “I think I’ve always loved you, too. Even though you were going to hurt my father, I loved you, and the guilt was nearly crushing. My heart wasn’t just breaking because of what you planned on doing to him. I’ve never been under the illusion that you’re not a dangerous man who lives in an equally dangerous world. My dad made poor decisions. It’s more than clear that if it wasn’t going to be you, it would have been someone else. And it was.”
“I’m sorry your father is dead, but I’m not sorry about the circumstances that brought you here.”
She leans forward, brushes my lips with a kiss, and sits back. “I’m not sorry either.”
“Come with me. I want to show you something.” I help her stand and then take her hand.
We walk through the penthouse toward the room I’d always thought of as Natalya’s, even before she stepped foot in there. I open the door and gesture for her to enter. She moves past me and stops just inside the doorway. I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into me.
“I cleared out all the boxes and had the housekeeper polish the floor. How would you feel about turning this into your own personal dance studio? You can design it however you want. Just tell the contractors what needs to be done and they’ll take care of it.”
Natalya turns in my arms and lays her hands on my chest. Tears shimmer in her eyes. “You would do that for me?”
“Of course I would. I want this to be your home and for you to be happy here.”
“I love you.”
“Maybe you should show me how much.”
The smile I can never get enough of brightens her face. “I’d love to.”
Natalya’s finger traces random designs across my chest. She tips her head back. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything, solnishko.”
She does the lip-biting thing that drives me wild, but I sense the nervousness in her, so I wait patiently.
“Do you want children? I know I’m on birth control, but we haven’t even tried being careful,” she finally asks.
Before Natalya, having children hadn’t crossed my mind. Not with the life I live. An image of a little girl with her mother’s color-shifting eyes and honey-colored hair flashes behind my eyes.
“I want yours.” It’s the truth. She is the only woman I’d want as the mother of my children.
She’s quiet a moment longer. “I’d like them, too, but I’m don’t think I’m ready, yet.”
“If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.” I run my hand up and down her hip. “No one says we have to start now. We have plenty of time.”
