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“Uh, you can, but there’s not much to see, I’m afraid.” I stepped aside for her to come in. “I’m waiting on my furniture from Bristol.”
Steph joined me inside and cast a look around. “This is kind of cute,” she said. “That fireplace is to die for.”
I looked at the old stone fireplace that took up the majority of the back wall. “It really is. With a bit of TLC, it’ll be perfect.”
She nodded and turned to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t come and visit you before now. I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about seeing me, and I thought it was best to let you recover. Ash kept me up to date, though. I think I annoyed her texting her every other hour.”
“Don’t worry about it. None of this was your fault, Steph. You do know that, don’t you?”
She smiled sadly. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I can’t believe Shane was capable of such things. I know it’s cliché, but he really did seem perfect. That should have been the first red flag, I suppose.”
“Some people are good at hiding stuff, especially people like that.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach, hugging myself. “You can’t blame yourself for what he did. As far as you knew, he was just a friend helping you out.”
“I knew he wanted more from me,” she admitted. “I didn’t know he was that crazy about it all, but we’d spoken. He said he was happy to wait until the divorce was final and I was ready to date again, even if that took a while. He understood that I didn’t want Declan to have anything to use against me. His affairs were the one thing I could hold over his head, and I knew he’d use anything he could to tear me down. There was… one night… with me and Shane. A mistake, really, but now I’m starting to wonder if I had a say in that at all.”
“What do you mean?”
“My memories of it are hazy, Lottie.” She met my eyes, and a wariness shone in her gaze. “I remember the day because I’d had yet another tumultuous meeting about the divorce. Shane suggested cooking for us and firing up the barbecue because it was nice out—he even said he’d grab everything on his way back from work and not to worry about a thing. I got my nails done and came home for a bath, and when I got out, he’d just come home. We cracked open a bottle of wine and he let me vent about the day while he cooked.”
Oh, no.
I had a horrible feeling about where this was going.
“I remember eating and finishing off the wine together, then he suggested we open the gin he bought me for my birthday a couple of weeks before. I was in that weird emotional state where drinking wasnotsomething I should have been doing, but at the same time, I wanted to just… let loose and forget the whole day.”
I grimaced. “We’ve all been there.”
Steph sighed, folding her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t that drunk, but after that, it all gets a little fuzzy. I barely remember us sleeping together, and what I do remember is not quite clear. When I mentioned it the next day, he told me I’d just drunk a lot, and half the gin was gone. I’m not a big drinker, and it doesn’t take much to get me drunk, so I didn’t think much of it, but now…”
“Have you told the police?” I asked gently.
“No. I can’t deal with that right now.” She shook her head. “Lottie… I’m… I’m pregnant.”
I blinked at her. “Oh, shit.”
“It’s Shane’s baby. There’s no way it could be anyone else’s. Given everything he told you and why he killed Declan, I’m really starting to think that he drugged me with the intention of this happening, so I’d never be able to cut him out of my life.”
Wow. What a fucking psychopath.
I didn’t know what to say and couldn’t say that last thought out loud, so I wrapped my arms around her in a huge hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“I just found out last week. I was late, but I put it down to the stress of Declan’s murder,” she whispered, then laughed at herself. “Oh, my God. Here I am, unloading on you again. You have enough to deal with.”
“Steph.” I held her at arm’s length. “He raped you. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded, and her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I do. I do now, I should say. I didn’t want to admit it before. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”
“He had an unhealthy obsession with you, and by the sounds of it, he has for years. I really think you should tell the police, but I understand if you don’t want to. It’s a lot to deal with.” I paused. “And the baby?”
“No.” She shook her head emphatically. “I can’t, Lottie. I—I just can’t do it. It’s not that I don’t want a family, I do, but not right now. Not like this. I can’t have this baby knowing how it happened. I’d never forgive myself if I went through with it and couldn’t love it. And I know adoption is an option, but I just… can’t.”
“Your mental health matters,” I said softly. “You’ve been through some insane trauma, and you need to heal from it. You’re not doing anything wrong, Steph. You’re not a bad person for looking after you first.”
She looked at me for a moment, then her bottom lip quivered. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”
“I’m here if you need me.”
“I’m going home for a bit. To Wrexham. Declan always insisted on using private healthcare, and the hospital we use has a site near to my parents’ house. My doctor is happy for me to be, um, treated, there.”
