AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Same here,” said a woman who had to be eighty if she was a day and was eyeing Drooling Beauty. “An actual prostitute. He said if the dwarf onGame of Thronescould do it, then so could he.”
“I see. And you, Paulie?” Debbie said, completely unfazed.
“I, uh...well, there’s a certain someone who... He... I wouldn’t...” Her face blossomed into the fascinating mottled purple. Mom started shirt-flapping in sympathy. “It’s a case of, um, unrequited love.”
“Unrequited at the moment, that is,” Colleen said, giving Paulie a smile.
“Young luff!” chortled Droog. “How wonderful! Eh heh heh heh heh!”
“I... Is my turn over?” Paulie asked.
“It is if you want it to be,” Deb said.
“Then it’s over.” Paulie wiped her forehead with the tail of the Thneed.
The rest of the class took their turns, saying more or less the same thing—“I’d like to meet a nice person for a special friendship, possibly more.” So Match.com.
“Okay! Let’s get started,” said Debbie. “Stanley? Come on in.” A man came in, barefoot and wearing a pink terry-cloth bathrobe. “Stanley’s our model today, people. Make yourself comfortable, Stan.”
Stan stood in the center of the circle, turned so his back was to Mom and Colleen, and let the bathrobe drop to the floor.
Colleen and Mom recoiled in unison.
She hadn’t known it was possible for a man to be so...so...hairy.
And so naked.
And so,sohairy.
As in, pelt. As in, he could donate his back hair to Locks of Love.
“I think I found my stepfather,” she whispered.
“You are not funny, young lady. I’m telling Connor about this.”
“It may kill him.” Colleen hunched behind her easel, torn between the urge to pee in terror and hilarity. “Okay, time to make art,” she whispered to her mother. “Take a good hard look, Mom.”
“I can’t. I’ve been struck blind.”
“In my country,” Droog said, his tone conversational, “back hair is sign of virility.”
“Then, Stan, you must have twenty children,” Mom answered drily.
Coll glanced over to Paulie, who was giving off light, she was so red in the face. She was on the other side of the circle. Thefrontside, God bless her, which meant she had to see the...parts...of Stan, Stan the Hairy Man. Lorelei sat next to her, chatting away, drawing without a care in the world.
Stan struck a pose, sort of a Mercury pointing to the heavens, and Colleen had to pretend to check her phone to hide her laughter.
“Colleen?” Debbie asked, leaning over her easel. “You haven’t even started yet. Is there a problem?”
“Nothing that a week of waxing won’t solve,” she managed.
“Okay, that’s rude,” Debbie said. “Bodies are all beautiful, all miracles of a higher power, all representative—”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll get started.”
Debbie gave her a disapproving look—no inner goddess for you!—and moved on.
Colleen took a breath and risked another look at the wizened buttocks and scrawny legs of Sasquatch. A breeze came through the window, ruffling the tufts of hair on Stan’s shoulders, and Coll bent down to hide another surge of wheezing laughter.
