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Colleen obeyed. Looked up at the roof. “Is that Bryce?” she asked.
“And Lucas. His cousin,” Carol said. “Joe’s dying, you know. He has maybe six weeks left. Didn’t you used to date him?”
“I never dated Joe Campbell,” Colleen murmured.
“Hey, Coll,” Bryce yelled.
“Hi, Bryce.”
Lucas came into view.
Oh, wow. Wow. He wore carpenter shorts and work boots and a white T-shirt that made his skin seem darker. Blue-collar man and his big, strong...um...hammer. Wasn’t there a porno about this? There should be. Someone should make one. Now.
Seeing her, he gave a nod. Maybe a smile.
“That’s right,” Carol said. “Youdiddate Lucas. But he married someone else, right? Lucas! Are you still married?” she yelled.
“Not anymore, Mrs. Robinson.”
“I could be single in a few hours,” she called. “You like older women?”
“Iloveolder women,” he answered, getting a chorus of giggles from Team Menopause. Colleen just swallowed drily.
“You gonna tap that, Colleen?” Carol asked. “Because I sure would if I was your age. Even if I was sixty again.”
“I’ll tell him that,” Colleen said. “But personally, I think I’ll pass. And where do you get off saying ‘tap that’?”
“He’s the only boy Colleen ever really fell for,” Mom said.
Colleen closed her eyes. “Is there alcohol in those glasses?”
“Not in mine, my dear,” Mrs. Johnson said. “Though when the clock strikes five, there’d better be. But yes, these two are drinking.”
“Just a little white Zin and 7-Up,” Mom said.
“That’s right. Stab me in the heart. Ladies, have some dignity. At least let me make you mojitos,” Colleen said.
“All right,” Carol said. “But oh, wait, Bryce is taking off his shirt. Do it, Bryce! Do it!” She giggled most adorably.
“I feel dirty,” Colleen said.
“Me, too,” Mom said. “Bryce, you make me feel dirty!”
“Jeez!” Colleen squeaked. “Come on, ladies! A little decorum.”
But she watched as Bryce took off his shirt, sure. She wasn’t dead, after all. He was pretty, no doubt about it. Washboard abs, nice muscles, she’d seen it all before.
“I’d give that an eight and a half,” Mrs. Johnson said.
“Nine,” Carol said.
“Nine,” Mom echoed. “Colleen, I think you and Lucas should get together again. Why not?”
“Hail Mary, full of grace, please make my mom stop talking.”
“I heard he kissed you in the bar the other night.”
“Blessed art thou who can change the subject, and blessed—”
