Page 44 of Blood & Ruin


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“I mean,” I said, struggling to find a worthy lie that she wouldn’t decipher easily. With Kazu Shiroiokami as her captain, the master manipulator, the deceitful White Wolf, he must have taught her how to do just that. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought of who…I think the fact of kissing at all is somewhat foreign to me, and I just…”

I was terrible.

“What about you?” I asked quickly, hoping she would go along with the change of subject.

“Hmm.” She brought her fingers to her lips. I couldn’t be sure, but it almost seemed like she was remembering a kiss from her past, something she wanted to explore further. “He’s gone, but…”

Oh.

Oh.

Dade Gregory. The brooding wolf that embraced his ShadowSide and left the protection of Bloodmoon Academy in order to cross the Storm Lands and reach the other Light Bringers. Everyone knew the two of them had grown up together and that Embyrlyn was in love with him since she was a kid. I should have known better than to even ask.

“Are we just standing around, chitchatting?” Megan Chamberly’s low, smooth voice interrupted us as she weaved through the bodies that had already begun to start their training. It grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. “Want to share, ladies?”

I blushed while Embyrlyn rolled her eyes. We both got in positions, angled our torsos at each other. Our fists rested in front of our faces, a form of defense, before I reached out and tried to strike her first. That was her rule – I always went first. I wasn’t sure why, but it was easier to do it than to argue with her.

She dodged the attack with ease, like she always did.

Instead of attacking, we circled each other. I wasn’t sure why the two of us had been paired together in the first place. She was so much further ahead of me that I felt like I was wasting her time and bringing her down.

I kicked out my leg, swinging it around, hoping to connect it with her hip. She pushed back, managing to avoid the kick by an inch.

I grunted in frustration. I was tired of being unable to connect. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to fight.

I pushed off from the balls of my feet and lunged for her. I dropped the technicalities of fighting and swooped my arm around. Finally, I managed to clip her jaw but pain exploded in my knuckles and I let out a gasp.

Embyrlyn reached up to caress her jaw, but her lips were curved into a small frown, like she was more annoyed than anything. I cradled my left hand with my right, trying not to hiss in pain.

“Not good form, King.” Chamberly’s voice was beside me, hands on hips. “What did Embyrlyn do to you? Steal your man?”

Embyrlyn rolled her eyes. “You know, girls can talk about more than just guys, right?” she asked.

Chamberly lifted a shoulder. “You want to fight, don’t you, junior?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. Her eyes were on me and me alone. She always found something wrong with me, something she could pick at. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be today.

“You’re going to inherit the pack,” she continued, her voice with a condescending burr. “First female to do so. Ever. A lot’s on you, you know. You mess this up, you think any pack is trusted with a leader for a woman?”

I clenched my teeth together to keep from spitting out a retort. The truth of the matter was, she was right As much as I hated her, she was right. There was a lot riding on me and I couldn’t even hit another female wolf my own age. What was I going to do when someone bigger and more powerful than I was? How would anyone take me seriously if I couldn’t defend myself, let alone my entire pack?

They wouldn’t.

I’d be a laughing stock. And it wouldn’t just be me, either. But other packs would point to my failure as a reason not to trust other girls, other women, with such a position of power.

Ihadto do this. If not for me, for them.

“What?” Chamberly asked. “You think as a woman, you should be granted the same consideration as a man?”

I knew she didn’t truly believe what she was saying. As a woman, how could she?

“And why should weallowsuch a thing?” she asked. “Do you think you deserve such a thing simply because you have a cunt between your thighs?”

I whirled around and threw my hand out. I shouldn’t let her get to me. I knew that. My father always told me I needed to do a better job at managing my emotions. And yet, I couldn’t help it. It was all of my fears compounded into condescending questions, and I wasn’t sure if I believed in them or not.

And the fact that it came fromher?

I wasn’t sure if I trusted myself with such a task, with such a responsibility. And for the hundredth time, as my knuckles exploded with pain, connecting with the sharp cheekbone on Chamberly’s flawless face, I couldn’t help but wonder why my father picked me as his heir when he could have chosen Matthyw or even Taskier.

Why me?

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