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“Did you want something to eat, drink?” he asked. “I know you prefer a scone and some sweet tea before bed to help you sleep when you’re particularly stressed about something.”
I took a seat on the red leather couch, my body sinking into the buttery material. “Do you think I’m stressed about something?” I asked.
“I heard what happened to your hand,” he said, sitting in a black armchair that wrapped around him like it was a throne and he was a king. “And how it came about.” His lips flickered up but there was no mirth in the look. “Rainey tends to get under the skin. He’s annoying like that.”
“It wasn’t him,” I admitted. “It was his assistant. Gods, she’s so annoying. Sometimes, I want to claw —“ I stopped. My father didn’t want to hear me complaining. It wasn’t the way an Alpha should be.
He maneuvered around to the kitchen where a cart was placed. I hadn’t even noticed it was there. Silly.
You need to be more observant of your surroundings! How are you supposed to be a successful Alpha if you don’t even notice a food cart in the kitchen?
I tried to get the voice out of my head. It was supposed to motivate me, to get me moving in the direction I was supposed to head towards, but all it did was deflate me, remind me that I wasn’t good at this and I might never be.
My father placed the cart to my side and picked up the silver teapot, pouring the amber liquid in a pristine white teacup.
“Are these the ones Mother had?” I asked, appreciative of the distraction since he hadn’t said anything after my embarrassing outburst.
“The very same,” he murmured in a tone others might dismiss as casual, but I immediately noticed the warmth in it. He always sounded like this when he spoke about Mom. “Did you know her mother gave this to her when she was with child, when she had you in her stomach?”
A lump had formed in my throat. I tried to swallow it, but it wouldn’t budge. Tears pinched my eyes and I wrinkled my brow, hoping to stretch them out and keep myself from crying. I didn’t want to do that in front of my father, didn’t want to give him a reason to think I was weak.
“She loved this set,” he said as he set the pot down. “I don’t know how, perhaps there’s truth in mothers simply knowing, but she was certain you would be a girl. She looked forward to throwing all of these tea parties with you as you grew up.”
My heart clenched.
Tea parties we never had.
“And now, it’s mine to give to you when you get with child,” he said. He picked up the saucer and carefully handed it to me. “But that won’t happen for some time, I’m sure.”
My stomach knotted itself up at the prospect of having a child. It was another duty I knew I needed to expect as an Alpha, an heir to a pack that put the needs of the pack before the needs of the individual, but I wasn’t sure if I could fulfill even the most basic duties, let alone the act of becoming a mother.
It was a lot.
I wished there was someone to talk to about this, but the other captains currently didn’t have children and I wasn’t sure if they ever would. At least not in the future.
It’s expected of them just as it’s expected of you.
And yet, there was this sweeping bitterness inside of me that also acknowledged the fact that there was a difference, being a woman. Since we carried the child, there was more urgency to start creating life than it would be if it was a man in the same position.
“Um.” I tugged at the ends of my hair, my gaze dropping to my teacup. “Is that what we’re here to discuss?”
My father dabbed the corners of his mouth with the cloth napkin he had before setting it primly on his lap. “No,” he said. “I called you here because I wanted to speak to you about this new Marriage Law. I have been informed that you will be one of the first selected to partake in the lottery.”
I sucked in a breath as my mouth went dry. Matthyw had said essentially the same thing, but there was more to it than that. Hearing it from my father caused my fears around this to heighten, my suspicions confirmed.
“It is my hope to take back some semblance of control before this actually happens,” he continued, picking up a scone. He brought it to his face and sniffed it before proceeding to take a cautious bite.
Despite the heaviness of the conversation, I couldn’t help the giggle as it left my mouth. “Do you think the scone is in danger of attacking you, Father?” I asked.
He gave me a droll look but didn’t reply as he chewed his bite. Once he finished, he brought his cup of tea to his lips and took a generous sip.
“As I was saying,” he said. “I have no intention of marrying a human if I can help it. It’s nothing against them, of course, I just…”
He couldn’t contaminate the Alpha line with outside blood.
“Regardless of whether this is a new law in stated by me or not, I have a responsibility to my pack,” he said, “which means I only have so much time to find a bride before one is found for me.”
“How much time do you have?” I asked. I brought my own lemon scone to my plate but refrained from eating it just yet. I was curious if Father would indulge my curiosities or if he would pretend not to hear me.
