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“Don’t sound so bitter. It’s not becoming of a lady,” he teased, “or a future queen.”
I scoffed. “Didn’t you hear? I’m dead.”
“Even ghosts still haunt. But you can’t do anything trapped in this gilded cage.”
He was right. This was a cage. I loved Atticus and was thankful for all he’d done to protect us, but I hated that he was so controlling.
“So, what do you suggest?”
He leaned back on the mat and stared at the ceiling. “I trained you to be competent, Christine. I taught you how to fight back. If you want out, then leave. We both know you could if you really wanted to. The only person holding you back is you.”
I stared at him, my mind working the words over. He was right. I’d trained and killed my way out of a lot of bad situations. It was time I used the skills I’d honed to free myself. “Thank you, Hudson.” I stood up, wanting to hug him but knowing he’d be too proud to take my gratitude.
“Whatever you do, do it for yourself, kid. Don’t be the girl that lets the rest of the world control you. We both worked hard to give you independence.”
A question fluttered across my mind, one I was scared to know the answer to, but needed all the same.
“Was any of it real?” I asked. “Us? Our friendship?” For some reason, I needed to know. Atticus had controlled so much of my life behind the scenes that it was impossible to recognize what was real. Was I even alive?
He sighed. “When I was first sent to Harvington to train some Lady of the Court, I was less than thrilled. I almost didn’t take the job,” he admitted. “Told Atticus I’d take a look at you and see if you were worth my time.”
I nodded, half expecting this. “And?”
“Some people shut down when they’re hurt. You got angry. I saw you throwing punches with no direction and decided you deserved to feel strong again.” The words ripped open a wound I’d been keeping closed for a long time. “I wasn’t your friend, Christine. I’ll never be your friend. I was Atticus’s pawn, and you were his precious project.”
The words stung, but I couldn’t deny them. “I’m sorry he forced you to work with me.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“You’re a survivor. I respected that. Respect is far more valuable than friendship.” He stood up and rubbed his knuckles. “And as long as Atticus views you as something he can claim, he’ll never respect you. Go show him that you’re a force of your own. You’ll both be better for it.”
My stomach knotted. I was so conflicted. Hudson had been my instructor and mentor. I’d trusted him. I’d respected him. And I’d loved him like a father, but now I realized he’d never loved me back. I was a job.
But he respected me, and he was right. In this world, respect was far more precious than friendship or love. I considered his words and then left the room. I had no doubt I could escape DuPont tower. It was only a matter of strategy. So I started planning my escape.
Chapter Nine
ATTICUS
Augustus was biting his fist in the seat beside me, glaring out the window, like Lord Nathan was hiding behind every tree and shrub. The seat of the car was cold and hard, grounding me.
“Can we fucking drive faster?” he asked, making the driver accelerate. The anger simmering in his veins was palpable and toxic. I was relieved to see him taking a hands-on approach, but was still apprehensive about how long this would last.
The grief would catch up to him eventually. And when it did, he’d be self-destructive again. I just hoped he could get the job done first. We had to take down Lord Nathan.
Augustus looked regal and deadly. He’d worn a black suit fit for mourning and had at least showered since the last time I’d seen him, but it didn’t hide his turmoil. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot and weary. He crossed his arms over his chest and wore a dour expression. Each of his movements was surprisingly deliberate and calculated. When I’d greeted Augustus this morning, he stood with complete confidence, like a man ready for war.
I didn’t have much else to do but observe my brother while we drove through the countryside. We would have taken the jet, but wanted to be discreet.
“What will we do when we get there?” I asked. I had a town car full of men following behind us and a pistol holstered to my hip.
“Kill him,” Augustus answered, his tone commanding and merciless, like a bomb exploding in my face. His face was hard and his tone was dead serious. It didn’t give me the sense that he was looking forward to the killing, but that he was prepared to do what needed to be done. He truly seemed to be eager to rid the world of our enemy in a swift and lethal fashion.
“Is that what you really want?” I asked. I didn’t know if that was the best course of action. We needed to know what Lord Nathan knew—and who else he’d told. Augustus was in danger, but I wasn’t sure if the timing was right to tell him about his lineage. He was volatile under the best of circumstances, but the man sitting beside me was completely unhinged. And untrustworthy.
“You’re the one who told me to step up and get my hands dirty.”
I sighed. “You’re more than welcome to kill the fucker—after I’ve had the chance to question him. I just want to make sure we’re smart about this. We don’t know how many men he has or if there would be backlash.”
“Who gives a shit about backlash?” Augustus snarled. He was getting agitated again. I could tell by the way he uncrossed his hands and clenched his fists in his lap.
