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I looked down at my hand and shook my head. “I was burned a little but also was training.”
He took a cautious step toward me. “This isn’t training, Christine,” he said before carefully reaching for my hand and stroking my knuckles. “You’re hurting yourself. You’re always hurting yourself.” He had whispered the last part of his statement, as if he couldn’t handle the truth of it.
I shrugged and pulled my hand back, wrapping it in my opposite one. “I have to become stronger. Hudson—the man who taught me how to fight—showed up.”
We stood, me in a defensive stance and him looking down at my hands, his face concerned. “Did he hurt you?” Leo asked, his tone low and dangerous.
“I did some damage to him, too,” I answered, trying to lighten the mood.
He let out a shuddery breath and smiled, relief washing over his face. He straightened and crossed his arms. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“I’m not.” At my words, his eyebrows pulled together inquisitively. “What are you doing here?” I asked, taking another step to put some distance between us. “How did you find out I was alive?”
“I knew the first night. Was checking security footage.” His answer made my stomach drop.
“And yet you haven’t told August what Atticus is doing,” I replied, suddenly remembering whose side Leo was really on.
He nodded. “I’m not your enemy.” He looked into my eyes, and his face softened. “I care about you, Christine.” He placed his hand on my cheek. “I’m worried about you.”
I slapped him away. “If you were truly worried about me, you wouldn’t let Atticus keep me locked up here.”
“You can’t go back to the castle, Christine. It’s not safe.”
A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “You sound just like Atticus. I don’t need you to protect me, Leo.”
He frowned at my response. “I’m not trying to protect you. I’m trying to help you.”
I stepped back. “By keeping me away from August?”
He shook his head. “By keeping you out of the crossfire when Augustus does something stupid. When Lord Nathan attacks—again. When more people lose their lives in a stupid war you don’t need to be in the middle of.”
I crossed my arms and looked down. “I can help. I’m capable, Leo. This isn’t right.”
“You shouldn’t have to help. You should be in Harvington where it’s safe!”
I threw my hands up in frustration, wincing at my stiff muscles. “This again? I’m not leaving, Leo! I’m in too deep. I feel too much. Tell me, who do you serve, Atticus or August? You sound like you’ve switched sides.”
He closed the distance between us. I placed my fingers on his chest, planning to push him away, but he was warm. His heart was racing. “I’ve only ever been on your side, Christine.” My lips parted, but I couldn’t speak. His body felt liquid against mine, like he was on fire. His face moved closer. “I care about you more than I should. You’re my friend. I don’t want to see you hurt. Why can’t you understand that?”
The word friend was a harsh reminder of the distance between us.
I looked up into his green eyes and saw pain. He was trying to save me. He was trying to protect me from the cruelty of Aldrich. Suddenly, I felt my indifference reignite and my rationalizations rush back. How could I trust someone who thought locking me away was okay?
“What do you want?” I swallowed. “What do you really want, Leo?” Maybe if he could tell me the truth, I’d understand him more. There was always so much distance between us. His duty. My title. August. Atticus.
“I want you to be safe.” My fingertips traced his jawline. I could feel his breath as it hit my face with every word.
“What else?” I asked while breathing him in.
“I want…” He licked his lips while staring at my mouth.
“You want?”
“I want…” he whispered against my lips. He closed his eyes and tensed. His lips were just touching mine, and he pulled back. “I want you to be happy. I want you to be safe.”
“What about what I want, Leo?” I asked.
He lifted his hand to my face, his fingertips lightly touching my cheek, before cupping the back of my head. “Tell me,” he groaned.
