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A cold, dark realization gripped him, and Daniel bent one knee under so he could twist and face her. “Autumn, if having a belt used brought up past trauma—”
“No, no. It wasn’t that.”
The sick feeling in his stomach subsided. He sometimes forgot that for normal people, having a parent use a belt for punishment was severe. That hadn’t been his experience. A belt would have been a relief.
He let his head drop. “Thank the universe. I looked over your list and thought belts were okay, but if I overlooked something…”
“No, in this scenario I’m not the victim. I’m the asshole.”
Daniel had no idea what to say to that, so he stayed silent.
She tipped her head back, looking up at the stars. “I probably seem nuts, don’t I?”
“No. You seem, youare,lovely and quick-witted.”
“Our witty banter is part of the problem,” she murmured.
He prided himself on being able to understand people, particularly submissives. A solid understanding of who a sub was and what they needed—sometimes that understanding even eclipsing what they were willing to acknowledge of their own needs—allowed him to truly and fully take control in the power exchange. Right now…he was lost.
“Autumn, I hate to say this…but I have no fucking clue what you’re thinking or feeling. What you need.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll tell you what I do know, instead.” He tapped his hand against his knee, gathering his thoughts. “You didn’t run in order to manipulate me or the scene. You aren’t a brat.” He stopped to consider. “I don’t think you tried to initiate a primal play chase either.”
She nodded.
“Those are the things that aren’t happening. But whatishappening... I’d love for you to tell me, when you’re ready.”
“Can I ask an odd question, first?”
“Of course.”
She looked pale in the moonlight, almost ethereal, though the aesthetic was spoiled by the too-large suit jacket. “I want to ask you what you think would have happened if we’d met at a bar.”
The question caught him completely off guard. He stared into the middle distance, thinking. What would have happened? He would have noticed her, he was sure of that. Would he have asked if he could buy her a drink? He didn’t know. Not that he wouldn’t have wanted to, but his past made it difficult for him to imagine himself in romantic relationships. He’d had them—it had actually been a girlfriend in his grad school years who’d introduced him to D/s, laying the groundwork for what would become his control outlet.
“Would it have been a meet-cute moment?” she went on. “I buy you a drink, you come over to say thank you, maybe make a cute comment about how usually you’re the one to buy the drinks.”
She pressed her lips together, and though he wanted to comment, he stayed quiet, sensing that she needed to get through this without being interrupted.
“But I’m not going to ask that, because that wouldn’t really be fair, would it? Maybe you’re married or seeing someone and coming here is part of your open relationship. If that’s the case, you don’t talk to strange women in bars.”
“I’m not married, or in a romantic relationship,” he said quietly.
“Oh.” She glanced at him, then away. “I guess my point is that in this imaginary situation where we were both out at the bar because we were single and ready to mingle…”
She turned her face, laying her cheek on her knee so she was huddled into a tight ball. Her face was half in shadow, her nose, chin, and lower lip gilded by silvery light.
“…I would have bought you a drink, or let you buy me one. We would have spent the night talking. You have to admit our banter was immediately on-point.”
“No argument here. We have chemistry.”
She winced and though he didn’t know what about that comment had hurt her, he wished he hadn’t spoken.
“Yeah…and that’s the problem. I’m attracted to you, and not just like a sub who thinks she’s met a Dom she can scene well with. I like you. I’d want to date you, if we had met at that imaginary bar.”
Daniel made sure his surprise didn’t show. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her feelings, and he was sure acting surprised would do exactly that.
