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Had she done something wrong? Did he not like her kiss?
She’d hardly slept thinking about it. The tantalizing brush of his lips, the feel of his heat and his body. She’d wanted more…
Her feet scurried over the cold, hard ground, her skirts swishing about her boots as she made her way down the winding road to the bridge that led to Upton Falls. Just the sight of the icy water made her shiver, a feeling that stayed with her when she spotted the carriage being loaded with trunks.
She stopped. He really was leaving.
“Natalie,” Abigail called, appearing in the doorway with a wave. “What are you doing here?”
She moved forward, her feet feeling heavy. “I received a note from my uncle that Lord Somersworth…”
Abigail’s brows furrowed. “He didn’t tell you last night that he was leaving?”
She shook her head. Had he known? “How long has he been planning to return to London?”
Abigail nipped at her lip. “I don’t know. Rush only told me this morning that we were going to see his family and by then, Somersworth was already gone. So I just assumed that he’d told you…” The other woman tapered off, looking at the ground as she spoke.
“I see,” she whispered, knowing that this was bad. “He didn’t.”
Abigail winced. “Maybe some emergency cropped up. I can ask Rush.”
But Natalie shook her head. She should have seen this coming. This was exactly why she’d initially decided that she’d not allow him to court her. He was always going to flit away when she’d least expected it. “If you see him, would you deliver a message for me?”
“Absolutely.” Abigail had made her way down the steps, and she now held Natalie’s hands. “What should I tell him?”
“Tell him that I always honor my commitments,” she started, her voice threatening to crack. She’d shared things about herself and now he’d just left her. “But that…” What did she say that didn’t reveal too much? Their bargain. Their kiss. “But that I’ve always known precisely who he is.”
Abigail’s brow furrowed. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“That’s all right.” Natalie gave her friend’s hands a squeeze. “He will and that is all that matters.”
“You’re upset he left without telling you?”
She was. Not that she should be. “I’m upset with myself for believing…” Again she stopped. She’d allow her excitement and attraction to sweep her up in a tide of emotion. “For thinking that he truly cared.”
Abigail stared at her for several seconds before she answered. “But he does care. He told us both that he’s seriously considering marriage to you.”
Natalie’s brows lifted. So he lied to his closest friends. If that didn’t tell her all she needed to know, she didn’t know what else did. “Abby, be careful before you trust him again. He’s a rake. He lies. That’s what rakes do.”
Abigail blinked several times. “You’re not courting anymore?”
They never had been. Not really. She shook her head. “I’ll explain it all when you’re not attempting to leave. Safe travels, and I hope you’re still in London when I arrive.”
Abigail gave her a hug. “I hope so too.” Then the other woman leaned back. “But Natalie. Don’t give up yet. Men like Somersworth need a bit more grit to tame them but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it.”
Grit? Did she have that? Most would say no. And even if she did, would it be enough? Could any woman tame a man like him?
And what would happen to her if she tried? She hurt plenty in this moment, more than she ever had before. How much worse could it get? She didn’t wish to find out. “What if he doesn’t wish to be tamed?”
“None of them do,” her friend answered. “Until they do. But only you can decide if you wish to try.”
That was part of the problem, wasn’t it? She wanted love, but she wasn’t strong enough to demand the chance. She wanted a rake, but she wasn’t brave enough to try to take him.
She’d hoped to learn, but how could she when the man she asked to teach her was the one with the power to break her heart?
CHAPTER TEN
Natalie’s mother wasn’t helping with her mounting dread.
