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“And second,” he whispered against her skin, “I think we’ll live at my country estate rather than London.”
She dug her fingers into his neck, bending way back so that she might look at him again. “You’re serious?”
He slid his hands higher, holding her behind. “Very.”
“But you love…”
He gave her that one-sided grin. “I loved the city when my life was all about pleasure.”
She shook her head. “You’ll grow bored.”
He looked down at her, his features as soft as she’d ever seen them. “I won’t, Kitten. I’ve been thoroughly domesticated.”
“But—” she started.
He kissed her quiet. When he lifted his head again, it wasn’t far. Only a few inches away, his blue eyes held hers. “I believe I’ve had all the debauchery one man can stand for a lifetime. The idea of returning to it fills me with…”
“What?”
“Disgust,” he answered, his gaze unwavering.
She stared up at him, the words slowly sinking in. They were almost too good to be true.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ethan didn’t blame her for being skeptical. He knew it would take time to prove that he’d changed.
But some shift had happened inside. His mind had cleared, and he could see all the ways in which he’d been destroying his own life. From the drinking to the whoring to the fights with his uncle that had fueled his bad behavior, he’d allowed debauchery to push him deeper into misery, all masked by a charming smile and a wink.
“Ethan,” Natalie cried out his name, looking pained by his words.
“What’s wrong, Kitten?” He skimmed one hand over her ass, settling his palm in the small of her back to provide extra support for her. She was bent into him in the most feminine way, her body fitting into the bend of his.
“Don’t say these things,” she gasped, turning away.
He looked down at her in confusion. “Why not?”
“Because they make me hope.”
“Love, you’re going to be my wife. You shouldn’t be filled with only hope but with certainty.” His nose brushed her cheek. “We can retire to the country with your mother, have an extended engagement if you need time to feel confident. The only thing I can’t sacrifice is your safety.”
“An extended engagement in the country?” Her whisper was hoarse, and she stared up at him. “What have you done with Ethan? You can’t actually mean the words…”
“Of course, I do,” he said, moving his other hand up her back to cradle the base of her skull. “I…” He drew in a deep breath, his rakish smile long gone. “I love you, Natalie. You have helped me find the path to becoming a better man and I…” He couldn’t help himself then. He leaned down and kissed her, long and slow and as sweetly as he could manage with the emotion that was coursing through him.
Her fingertips, which had been digging into his neck, relaxed, winding into his hair as she softened in his arms.
Her mouth, her body, they melted into his. He’d meant the words. He’d give her as long as she needed, but damn if he wouldn’t like to have this woman sooner rather than later.
This wasn’t like his rakish days, where it was about the immediate pleasure for himself. He wanted to worship her. Make her feel…loved.
The kiss went on and on, their breath, lips, tongues mingling until she finally pulled away. “Ethan.”
“Yes, Kitten?”
“I love you too,” she whispered. “I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I do.”
Triumph roared through him and her fingers unwound from his hair, dancing down his neck and over his shoulders. They stopped at his cravat, where she plucked at the knot.
