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“You doubt the wisdom of opening your heart when so many are dying every day. You doubt my ability to keep you alive. You doubt that I will honor who you are and will try to force you to become someone you choose not to be.”
“Hmm. Sounds like you were listening.”
“I was. I will always listen to you.”
“I’m going to remind you that you said that.”
“Listening to what you say does not mean doing as you say.”
I laughed lightly. “No, it doesn’t. Are you nervous about what comes next?”
“With you? Never.”
“I meant out there.”
He was quiet for a long time, his breath teasing the top of my head.
“Yes,” he said finally. “Those who have volunteered aren’t fighters. They do not know how to survive out here. I will need to keep them alive. But I am only one man, and there will be many females.”
I nodded slowly.
“Remember what Waurlyn said. Don’t lose focus on the bigger picture. If you die when we’re out there, we’ll all die. You can’t sacrifice yourself to save one life when you have two hundred more counting on you.”
He grunted and kissed the top of my head.
We talked on the roof for another hour before he returned me to the bunk and told me to rest.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I will return later.”
“You’re going to check the perimeter, aren’t you?”
He grunted and kissed me. “Warm the bed for me.”
Roni snorted from her bunk, and I rolled my eyes.
“Hurry back,” I said softly.
No one spoke as I claimed a bunk and pulled a blanket over me without removing any of my clothes or layers. The time for comfort was gone.
Molev woke me sometime later when he curled around me. I settled into his warmth and drifted off again. The next time I woke, I was alone, and it was light outside.
Roni sat on the bunk across from me with a cup of coffee in her hands.
“You going to be able to walk today?” she asked, waiting for me to sit up before handing over the cup.
“Nothing happened. Too many people around.”
“I wouldn’t have let that stop me.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Katie said above me.
I grinned into my cup and took a tentative sip.
“Anything happening out there?” I asked.
Roni shook her head. “I know where the mess hall is. The researchers barely slept. And Molev’s watching over everything. Everyone else is waiting for our people to show up.”
