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“At least let me put all these blankets back on the bed.”
“I said I don’t need them. If you don’t stop, I’ll…I’ll…” I’ll what, burst into tears? I’m on the verge of dissolving into a sobbing mess. My emotions are tossing me like a ship in a storm.
“Please don’t make yourself upset. I’ll go.”
A moment later, I hear footsteps receding and the door close.
Zabriel’s voice calls through the wood, “I’m out here now, and I’m so sorry you’re hurting. You’re going to feel better soon, my sweet Omega. You’re lovely and your Alpha adores you.”
I don’t feel adorable. I feel stupid and out of control. I destroyed my nest and sent Zabriel away thinking it would make me feel better, but I feel worse. Tears leak from my eyes, and I stare at the bed curtains in the darkness.
“I’m so sorry. I can never get any of this right,” I cry, before stuffing a blanket into my mouth so he doesn’t hear me sob.
“You’re doing wonderfully, little dragon. You’ve done nothing wrong. Alpha’s not upset with you. Alpha only wants you to feel safe.”
Zabriel goes on murmuring reassurances through the wood.
“Are you comforting me with your voice?” I sniffle, dragging the blanket up to my neck and hugging it.
“If this is all you’ll let me do for you, then this is what your Alpha will do. I’m right here, Omega. You’re safe in your bed and no one will hurt you.”
The tears keep falling.
I can’t stop shivering.
Being an Omega is completely humiliating.
22
Zabriel
Isit with my back propped against Isavelle’s closed bedroom door all night. She falls in and out of dozes, sobbing quietly and tossing and turning as she desperately seeks comfort and rest. Every time I picture her shivering with her nest destroyed and pushed onto the floor, I want to crack my skull against stone.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
Showing her that it turned me on to see her like that was a selfish mistake. She was perfectly happy dozing away beneath two dozen blankets before I made it about me. What I should have done was quietly watch over her for a day and a night, then given her a cold drink of water and told her that she was such a brave, good Omega for enduring her first false heat and making a lovely nest. The first Omega in New Maledin, and she has me to rely on, but what an idiot I am.
Just before dawn, Isavelle’s room falls silent, and I pray to any of the gods that might be listening that she’s fallen asleep at last. My chest aches with the need to go in there and make sure she’s at least warm enough not to make herself sick, but if she wakes up and sees me looming over her, she’ll become distressed all over again. I reassure myself that the fire is burning in her room. The tapestries and curtains are pulled tight against any drafts. She’ll be all right for a few hours.
Meanwhile, I think someone else might need some attention. I get stiffly to my feet, smothering a groan, and head for the dragongrounds with a dismal feeling that I know what I’m going to find there.
I can tell something’s up before I cross the stone bridge. The Betas are all restless and milling around, trying to see what’s happening at the center of the flare. I push my way through them and see Scourge trying to get his massive head beneath an overhang. From the shadows, there’s a sad trill, then an indignant snarl. Something moves around in the shadows and then flops to the ground. A moment later, it’s up again, and there’s a flash of talons and an angry squeal, and Scourge flinches backward with a surprised grunt.
I pat his flank and duck down beneath the overhang and see Esmeral, panting, angry, and restless, squashed back against the rocks. She’s coping with her first false heat about as well as her reluctant rider.
“Esmeral, I’m coming in there. Please be a good Omega and don’t rip me apart.”
I crawl under the overhang with her. Sitting with my back to the wall, I touch the spines on the back of her neck and gently coax her closer. She resists for a moment, snaps at me, then flops down dramatically so her head is in my lap and she’s gazing up at me with anguish-filled eyes.
“I know,” I murmur, stroking her snout. “You feel sore, angry, confused, and lonely. Isavelle’s not doing much better, but she’s finally fallen asleep. You’ll feel better if you try and do the same.”
Gradually, the dragon’s breathing slows down. Scourge lays down protectively around the overhang, blocking out the sunlight and the cold wind so his Omega feels safe. There are caves nearby where the Omega dragons shelter during their heats with their Alphas, but Esmeral irritates Nilak so the white dragon has probably neglected to show her where they are. Dragons can be just as petty as people.
I pull Esmeral higher on my lap and cradle her head. If I can’t hold my mate then at least I can hold her dragon.
This is what I should have offered Isavelle, to hold her through her first false heat, nothing more. The second one we could have tried kissing. Maybe a little touching. The third, licking her. Pushing my fingers inside her. Making her come a lot. Maybe,maybe, carefully penetrating her with a few inches of my cock if she really trusted me. Nothing deeper than that because fucking her properly, knot and all, is out of the question until she’s had her first true heat. I could actually hurt her and then I’d have no choice but to cut my own heart out and beg for her forgiveness with my dying breaths. I could give my Omega my cock if she asked for it, but she won’t because she doesn’t trust me enough to let me hold her, let alone fuck her through her false heats.
Esmeral grows heavier and heavier on my thighs until her eyes close and she falls asleep. I can feel that Scourge is dozing too, relieved that his mate has found some peace at last.
