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“Who dared strike my sweet soul?” Mikhail growled.
To his credit, one of the younger Protectors, my good friend Truth, stepped forward with his hand raised. “Um, Maker, we were only following her instructions.” Mikhail blinked, waiting. He knew Truth couldn’t tell a lie without being violently ill. So that meant…
I sighed, trying to pull my tiny skirt down over my butt. “Growly, don’t smite our friends.”
Setting me down on the ground, he glared into my face. “You told them to hit you?” A few people in the crowd giggled.
I rolled my eyes, turned around, flipped up my skirt, and showed him the glitter-painted message. “It was supposed to be for you, Growly. I didn’t know you were gonna have me flashing the whole Merge Two.”
“Oh,” he said, his cheeks becoming a darker bronze. “I, um… Apologies, everyone.”
“We’re not calling it The Merge Two,” Hope called. She stepped up, all six feet and change of her, almost as golden as Sunny. Hope was dressed only in what appeared to be two giant feathered fans, held on by very thin chains to leave her hands free.
“Why not?” I replied.
“Because it didn’t win. Everyone, make room!” She and Sunny cut through the buzzing crowd to a small, raised portion of the dance floor, and Mik and I followed them. Hope held up an envelope, waving it until a small circle was cleared for a few feet around us. “I have the results.”
Rumple, Ry, and Gavriel pushed their way to us, and we all moved so we were underneath the sign that still saidWelcome towith a blank space.
Hope opened the envelope, pulled out a gleaming sheet of parchment, and announced, “The top five names for the new community hall were as follows. In fifth place was The Spiritual Sexposium.” Everyone laughed, though a few of the crustier ex-Guides blanched slightly. “In fourth place, Heavenly Bodies.”
Rumple grunted, “Fourth? Who does a Celestial have to bribe around here to get a good name chosen?”
“In third place, E-Merge-N-C Hotspot.”
I snorted. “I’m not sure if that sounds like a vitamin drink or a place to charge a phone.”
Hope shushed me. “In second place, The Community Consortium.” A round of cheers went up from the Guides, who absolutely would pick a stupid name like that. Gavriel shot me a smug grin. I frowned at Mikhail, who was grumbling about a recount.
“Oh please, oh please, oh please,” I chanted, crossing all my fingers, and then my legs. And then my eyes. “Please let it be mine.”
Sunny shook her head meaningfully, and I uncrossed everything with a sigh.
Hope spoke over the excited crowd. “And now for our winner. The name of the new spiritual merging center, to be officially named by our own Maker Mikhail, is…” She handed the parchment to Mikhail, who smiled broadly as he read it silently. Then he pulled the naming chime from his robe pocket and sang the new name of the place, pointing the chime toward the sign.
“The Spiritual Cloisters!”
Everyone cheered.Cheered.
“What the actual fark? That was the stupidest name of them all,” I muttered as the entire group sang the words together and they began to appear on the sign, as if a great invisible hand was writing them. Sunny’s gaze met mine, and she crossed her eyes. At least two of us realized what a craptastic name it was.
I’d just turned away to get a drink at the bar, when the cheering died down, too quickly.“Oh shizz,” Hope said, her brow crinkling.
“No, shizz would be far better than that,” Gavriel muttered. Ry had slapped a hand over his mouth—trying not to laugh, I thought.
What?I thought, but no one answered me. I looked back at the sign and realized why. I read it out loud, since everyone else had gone silent. “Welcome to the Smutty Clusterfuck.” Mikhail gave a wheeze when I mused, “I don’t know. I like it. It’s catchy.”
Rumple made a strangled sound as he walked to Mikhail and took the chime. “Mik, you said it was repaired.”
Mikhail glared at the chime, then at Rumple. “It was working all day, Seraphiel. I created and named a half-dozen things with it just this morning.”
Rumple frowned. “What did you name today?”
“First, I created a batch of chocolate chip cookies,” he started, but I stopped him with a gasp.
“You mean the cookies in our kitchen that looked exactly like chocolate chip, but turned out to be raisin? The raisins were even shaped like chocolate chips.” I shuddered. “I thought Gavriel was trying to get me to eat healthy things again. I threw them away.”
Sunny shivered. “Get rid of that thing, Mikhail. It’s evil.”
