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It’s just sex. Focus, Cal.
I needed to move, because if I kept her pinned to this wall, the cave would collapse around us. A change of scenery was what I needed to help me focus. I laid her in the middle of the cave and stood over her, trying to get a fucking hold of myself now that she wasn’t pressed against me.Just make her come and be done with it.
She took in my bare chest as I undressed, the look in her eyes fuckingferal. She was drinking me in, and it took everything in me not to let her swallow me whole.
I can do this.
Her eyes suddenly softened as I leaned over her. It almost looked like a flash of sorrow as she watched me with haunted eyes, and a bolt of concern shot through my core. “Are you okay?” I asked her, unable to help myself. “With this?”
She grabbed me with such ferocity that I knew my back would bear the marks of her fingernails for days. I’d wear them as a badge of honor. Her hands moved to her tunic as she wrung it from her body. I pulled back and let myself stare at her bare chest.
I was going to fuckingdevourher.
No, I wasn’t. I couldn’t.
But I had no control over myself when the words slipped out of my mouth. “Absolutely perfect.”
A moment. I could let myself get lost for just a moment. A moment wouldn’t hurt. It was a part of the plan.
I took her hard and fast as the lights began to dance across the cave. I tasted every fucking inch of her and watched her unravel beneath me. I told her to come for me and she obeyed. She obeyedbeautifully.
And as I watched her eyes roll back in her head and felt her nails rake across my back, I wished with every part of me that I hadn’t agreed to Castemont’s fucking plan. I wished that she and I could justbe.
I wished that I’d never set eyes upon him.
Chapter 16
Thirteen Years Ago
“You don’t get your eyes from your mother.” A finely dressed lord stepped in front of me and peered curiously between me and Aunt Berna. We stood to the side of the bustling market at Bellenau Square. His hands were clasped leisurely behind his back, but the tall guard next to him was stern in his posture.
“I’m not their mother,” Aunt Berna answered, a brow cocked.
“Ah, I should have known you were their sister.” The Lord chuckled and gestured to me and Tobyas. Aunt Berna let out a giggle that I’d never heard from her before as she batted her lashes.
What’s going on?
“Sodoyou get your eyes from your mother?” he pressed.
I was used to the look of awe on strangers’ faces when they saw my eyes. Aunt Berna said they looked like gemstones that’d melted in the sun. I didn’t mind the looks too much when I was younger, but I was fourteen now. Far too old for strangers to ogle at me.
My aunt set her fruit-filled basket down on the shopkeeper’s counter and nodded to him while he counted up her purchase. “Go ahead,” she said gently with a hand on my back, “tell him.”
“The blue is from my father,” I replied to the seemingly kind stranger, but an uneasy feeling settled over me. “The green is from my mother.”
“And where might they be?” he asked with a raised brow, his brown eyes darting beyond us to the crowded market. His tone was light, as if he were just striking up a simple conversation, but he was actually being rather nosy.
I cleared my throat as Tobyas fidgeted next to me. “My mother is with the Saints. My father… I’m not sure where he is.” Aunt Berna jabbed an elbow into my ribs. “My Lord.”
“My sincerest apologies for your loss,” the Lord answered, bowing his head. He sounded sincere, but something about him…didn’t feel right. “Did you inherit anything else from your father? Your height, perhaps?”
I narrowed my eyes at the man. I was tall, yes. But I couldn’t remember if my mother had been tall, and I had no idea how tall my father was. But why did he want to know? “I’m not sure, my Lord.”
“And how old are you, young man?”
“I just turned fourteen.”
He turned quickly to the guard beside him before looking back at me. “Fourteen and this tall already? You could be a Royal Guard one day.”
