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“Smells nice,” she says.
I grab her hand again, tighter this time, leading her further inside.
“We’d like a table for two,” I tell the waiter and instantly regret not making a reservation.
The general tone of the place is a warm beige but pretty much everything inside is either in shades of brown or red, adding to that calmness I was going for. There are a few people in here already and the seating is limited inside, but this is not where we’ll be eating. The restaurant has a large garden and Sunny, who is a regular here, assured me that both the food and the atmosphere will delight Carol.
The waiter leads us further inside until we reach one of the corner tables, but I shake my head. As much as I love the smell here, I’m sure the garden will give us both the space to breathe a bit more easily. “The weather is too nice to stay inside. Do you have anything available in the garden?”
Carol looks at me surprised. “It has a garden?”
Truth be told, when Sunny showed me pictures of this place, I was sure she was messing with me. But they do have a garden, designed almost like a maze so that it takes full advantage of the space among the buildings in this block.
Before I can explain that to her, the waiter gives her the answer with a small speech I’m sure he has delivered multiple times. Then, he motions to another hallway, almost invisible from where we are standing, and soon we are outside. First, we come across another brick wall, similar to the exterior of the building, but this one is covered with greenery, a sort of ivy with yellow flowers. Ten more tables are scattered around the small yard, but I spot two more pathways on each side, probably leading to other small sections like this.
I’m tempted to ask for one of those, but Carol seems to have chosen one already and is heading to one of the corner tables. We place our orders and soon we are alone again.
“How’s Daniel?” she asks, like she does every time we talk.
“He’s doing well. Better and better every day, in fact.” I haven’t told her the details about my fight with Jane but when she heard that Daniel’s mother signed her rights away so easily, she was shocked. It probably gave her a better idea of what my marriage was like. That’s not the kind of topic that I want us to talk about though, maybe some other day, when we’ll have settled down together.
“How’s the job hunting going?”
“Good. I’ve got one interview this week and another next week. Both great companies and I’m pretty positive I should have a new job by the end of the month.”
I had Andrew check the new applications at our company and Carol’s was already in the top round of selections. When he asked me what to do about it, I had him arrange an interview. The one she has the following week is with me. Not that I plan to reveal I’m the owner that day—this was just to keep me in line with the promise I made to myself to tell her the truth. As much as I’ve changed since I left her, there are still moments I want to just ignore any possible obstacle so as not to ruin what we are having.
The waiter comes with our food, a seasoned steak for me and a mixed grill dish for Carol. The smell is divine. No, Sunny wasn’t exaggerating at all.
Carol jabs her fork into the cheese-filled, baked peppers and as soon as she takes a mouthful, she motions me to try it. It burns a bit, and I’m not sure if it’s the pepper or if it’s just still too hot, but the buttery cheese tones it down a bit. Delicious. Even better than the smell.
We talk a bit about the weather, her sister, my son and everything else we can think of to keep the conversation going. It’s perhaps the first time we are both clinging desperately to our conversation. But ultimately the topic of my job comes up again.
“I’ll be done soon. As I told you last time, this doesn’t seem to be about the money. Or at least, it’s not only about the money. Seeing the reports, it’d be much easier to steal similar sums without being noticed. That means—”
“Competency then?”
She purses her lips and looks down at her empty plate. “Maybe. But it seems too farfetched to think someone planned this whole thing just to make someone look incompetent or… I don’t know what. The point is, there are easier ways to steal money from a company, especially when you have the means to do so. I’ll tell you for sure when I’m done, though. There’s one more thing I want to check.”
“What is that?” I ask but Carol just shakes her head, unwilling to reveal more until she’s completed her task. “Fair enough, I’ll wait till you’re ready for that.”
“I sense abutcoming.”
I nod. “But I think we need to talk about us.”
My whole life I’ve dreaded hearing those words, terrified of being in a serious relationship, and even more of having to express my feelings. And now…now, I know what it feels like to need to hear how someone feels about you and say it too.
Carol’s gaze is warm, full of longing, and her actions these past few days show that she’s forgiven me, but I still need to hear her say that she’s willing to give our relationship one more try.
“Since when are you so set on talking this through?” she asks.
“Since I found you again.”
It’s clear we won’t find the right words today, but even if we had something to say, they would not be enough for us right now.
I pay for our lunch and then lead her back to my car. “Where to?
“Don’t you have to work this afternoon?” Carol asks.
