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"You can put it like that. There was no way I was going to be able to handle two things while climbing the steep hill that I did. I had to choose to be better at one thing and suck at the other."
I smile.
"I would like to think that you aren't that bad."
"Oh, I am. I have looked my son in the eye before and wondered what his favorite color was. I don't know what he's afraid of or what his comfort food is. His nanny appears to know him even better than I do."
Declan doesn't look proud of his admission. If anything, he looks completely crestfallen, I cannot help but drop a hand on his arm.
"I know you feel like you suck at being a great husband, and now you feel you aren't that good at being a father either. The most important thing right now is that you have realized the aspects that need growth. I would like to think that you are working toward smoothing these rough patches over."
Declan nods.
"It's too late to be an amazing husband, but I know I still have time to change the narrative about parenthood."
"That's the spirit," I grin, realizing that I am learning more from this conversation than I thought I would.
We both settle back into our seats when the waitress arrives with our second order. Declan grabs the glass of water and takes a sip. I do the same with my drink.
"Felicity," Declan says, I look up at him.
"Can I call you Felicity?"
"Of course. I have just told you about my crazy ex; it's now forbidden for you to use my last name."
Declan chuckles and says, "I have a crazy question to ask."
I look at him now, slightly alarmed.
"What is that?"
Declan looks at me and then quickly becomes aware. I wonder if he's nervous.
"I am to be made Managing Director after my father retires."
"That's more than obvious, I'm super supportive of that. You may have joined the company three years ago, but you have been working really hard and showing that you really deserve this position." I tell him honestly because I think he’s simply nervous about taking on the responsibility of being Managing Director.
"Thank you. Well, my father seems to think that I am nearly eligible for the position but lacking in certain aspects."
I look at him in confusion. I could never say Declan was lacking in anything.
"Lacking?"
"Yeah," he murmurs, then proceeds to lean back, taking hold of his cuff button and his shoulders flex sculpting his shirt tightly as if it were a second skin.
I gulp.
"What?" I ask to keep him talking, to keep him doing what he is currently doing, unbuttoning his cuffs, and rolling the sleeves up to reveal toned, muscular arms.
My God.
I blink and look away from the sight.
Maybe I am simply enthralled at the sight because I haven't been with a man in so long. Right before Allard and I broke up, I stopped the physical aspect of our relationship from continuing. Maybe I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms because of my abstinence. Maybe I’m simply hor--
"Father says that the only way he can make me Managing Director is if I remarry or get into a committed relationship with a woman. He believes that my ability to keep a family will signal my strength and keep the company together. And until that happens, the position might never be mine."
I blink at Declan, who is now looking deeply into my eyes as if he expects me to get what he's trying to say. For a second, I wonder whether Declan is asking me out.
