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As I wait for Eli to open the door and let us talk, I realize that I did not give Amelia much credit for how much work she put in to raise our son. Even though we are now not married anymore, I won't fail to always recognize that.
Eli pulls the door open, dark-angry eyes looking up and into mine.
"Can I come in?" I ask.
Eli hesitates and continues to stare at me.
"Please?" I add.
I'm hoping the magic word, as my middle school teacher loved to call it, works its charm. With a sigh, Eli pushes the door wider, and with a relieved sigh, I step into his room to find it a total mess. The sight of his scattered clothes, shoes and wrappers of candy peeking from underneath his pillow, puts me at ease.
Eli shuts his room door and stomps his way to the bed in a move typical of a young pre-teen. I had done that more times than I care to count when I was still living with my parents.
I remain rooted in the center of his room, a little unsure of how to begin this. I have never had any reason to have any sort of serious talk with Eli. Well, except when I needed to break the news of my imminent divorce from his mother. It had not been all that hard because Amelia had been there and done most of the talking.
“Eli, I didn't want your Mom to leave so I could replace her,” I say, looking him squarely in the eye and allowing him to see how serious I am about this.
"Who was that woman, then?"
I sigh and then step closer to the bed.
"That was Felicity. The woman that... that I love."
"You used to tell Mom you loved her too," Eli says, hurt infused into every syllable.
I step toward him, filled with the need to establish physical touch. But I am not sure how much of that he will appreciate.
"Yes. That was because I did. But things change, Eli. People change; feelings do as well. Your mother and I are no longer together. I understand how difficult that is for you because it was a difficult decision for me and your mom to arrive at. But we knew that we had to do what was necessary to ensure our happiness."
"You were not happy with Mom?"
"I was at first. But along the line, everything changed for me, just like it did for her. Your mother is much happier now, with a man who loves her."
Eli looks at me, and I keep my gaze on him as I continue.
"I deserve some of that happiness too. And Felicity..." I continue, dropping onto the bed beside Eli. "She makes me happy."
"I always thought that we'd be a big, happy family."
"Buddy, sometimes we don't always get what we want."
Eli shakes his head.
"Felicity is never going to replace Mom."
He looks up at me then, his eyes fierce, daring me to counter that.
I shake my head.
"Felicity is not here to do that," I say, and with a slight hesitation, drop my hands onto his still-slim shoulder. "Your mother is always going to be special to me, no woman will ever replace her. But our time is over."
Eli takes a deep breath, for a moment, we remain that way.
"So, you're going to marry Felicity?"
"I think there's a very big possibility of that."
I cannot believe how deeply I have bought into this, how wild and chaotic this little idea about a fake relationship has become.
