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“If he does matter as you say, you would allow him to come and live with me.”
Amelia's voice is low, her eyes are hard as she matches my gaze.
When did we both get off the couch?
“Is that what he wants? Did he tell you that?”
“I know my son. He doesn't seem happy here.”
I throw my head back and laugh, but it's not the kind of laugh that bubbles from within; it’s a cold and harsh one that makes one’s skin and chest chill. It's an unbelievable one, in Amelia's audacious world, because I know what she's playing at.
I have gotten the message she is trying to send across loud and clear. She's trying to let me know that I wasn't a great father to Eli when we had still been married. And now, she doesn't think I can be.
“Well, it seems I know my son more than you do. Yes, he might have a hard time warming up to the presence of another woman in my life now, but he will eventually. And no, I'm not letting you have him,” I tell Amelia, whose eyes have not veered from mine. “We will continue with our current arrangement because it works. And… I’d appreciate it if you forget this conversation ever happened.”
I hope Amelia gets my message loud and clear. The last thing I want is to have to fight her legally over Eli. But if it came to that, I damn well would.
“I know what's best for Eli, it's coming home with me. I understand him more than you ever could. I was the one who'd hold him when he was afraid of monsters, the one who knew that he was being made fun of at school simply because his father never attended his games. I witnessed him take his first step and break his first fall. I know him better than you ever could and will care for him better than you could ever dream of. He's going to come home with me whether you like it or not.”
Amelia's eyes have darkened, her breathing is heavy. I can't tell if it's from the emotions that continue to swirl in the depths of her eyes or due to how loud her voice had gotten with each point she'd spat.
“We will maintain our present arrangement, that's final,” I growl.
“I am going to take my child away even if it's the last thing I do. If I must do so legally, I damn well would. All the money in your bank account cannot buy back the time you lost with Eli.” Amelia sneers.
“You wouldn't do that,” I murmur with a shake of my head, even though it's more than obvious that she damn well would.
“Eli is coming to live with me permanently, that's final. You might try to get the judges on your side with the fat money in your bank account, but we both know the parent that Eli favors. We know whom he would choose if both of us were presented to him as options.”
Amelia’s words hit hard, I blink, reeling from the force of her words and the burning fury in her eyes. She holds some sort of resentment against me. I can see that now. It's all clear; evident in the way she continues to glare right up at me and the words that she's uttered. I know that she means every word she says.
Of course, I am smart enough to realize that if we decide to take this up legally, she will win hands down. She'd been with Eli when I had been away.
“Eli is ten years old, Amelia. I might have been away all those years, but I am here now. I never plan to leave. I won't have to work magic with my money to win custody of Eli,” I seethe.
How dare she threaten to take Eli away? How dare she plant this mind-numbing fear inside of me?
“But there was a time you were not here. I was. I was with our child, nursing him, raising him. You don't know what that's like,” Amelia says as she confidently tilts her head to the side and continues to regard me. “And I don't think you ever will.”
“Mom?”
I whip around at the sound of Eli's voice, wearing a smile I do not feel at all.
“Hello, Honey. Are you ready?”
Like me, Amelia has conjured a smile for his benefit and is moving toward him to drape an arm across his shoulder.
Eli nods and then looks at me; almost shamefully. I wonder what he's currently feeling. I wish that I'd devoted time to him, come home more often, to spend time with him. Maybe then, I would understand him as well as Amelia says she does.
Someone clears their throat.
I look up. It's Amelia. Her expression is still defiant, her shoulders tense, as if still anticipating a fight.
“Eli and I will be leaving now,” she begins to say.
I nod because there's a lump in my throat that stops me from speaking, and I'm afraid of what I would sound like if I even attempted to.
Amelia begins to turn around, but Eli hesitates, and that slight hesitation nearly brings me to my knees.
