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"I've been thinking about something, Buddy."
I drop the pan and pick up another, stalling for a beat to gather my thoughts and weigh my options. I'm feeling conflicted, honestly, I can't bring myself to call off my relationship with Felicity.
It might be fake, but I can boldly say that the moments we've shared are not, at least not only on my part. I'm an inch closer to being made the Managing Director-- well, that's the impression I'm getting from Father's decision to speed things up between Felicity and me. Nonetheless, I don't want to lose Eli either. I can't live without him.
"Ms. Goleman and I are talking about possibly getting married and I wonder how you would feel if I asked her to come live with us first?"
Eli's eyes spark with anger. He drops the pan, causing a loud thud to echo in the large space.
"I'll have to go live with Mom then. She said--"
I shake my head as if to erase the thought of Amelia filling our son's head with nonsense.
"This has nothing to do with your mother. She has her life to live, this is ours. You must trust me, Buddy. Please."
"It's ours you say? I don't see it that way, Dad." Irritation rings in his voice. "This is you being selfish again." He shoots the words right at my gut, the pain hits harder than I've felt before.
"It's not like that, Son," the words are a little more than a whisper, a plea.
Eli's face hardens with rage, he turns on his heels, leaving me, the same way Felicity did at my office.
I sigh and try to picture myself waving a magic wand to make everything turn in my favor for once. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I wipe my hands on the towel and pull the device out.
"Declan Gray."
"Hey, it's me."
Felicity.
Her voice is soft. Warm. I press the phone closer to my ear.
"I just got home. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I-- just got home too."
There’s a split-second silence, then she exhales audibly.
"Are you going to ask him?"
I don't have to ask who she's referring to. I've realized that Eli's stance matters so much in my relationship with Felicity, she respects that without malice.
There's so much to do.
I bite my bottom lip and dip a finger into the butter, pushing the thought away. It's too early to develop such a strong feeling, especially when the odds of us being together are so thin.
"I'm assuming you've done that already and it didn't end well," she says when I say nothing, then continues in a calm voice. "Thing is, I don't necessarily have to move in. I can keep a few things there- that includes clothing and toiletries, etc., visit, and maybe sleep over when your dad is set to visit and play detective."
I want to tell her not to bother but change my mind. I won't lie to myself that I'm okay with the fact that she isn't moving in with me.
She hangs up after a long minute of silence. My heart is heavy with dark emotions, I walk upstairs to change into comfortable clothes and head to my bedroom. I have to think of ways to convince her to do Father's bidding, so we can get this over with and spare myself from the overwhelming pressure threatening to split my heart open.
Chapter Sixteen
Declan
Aftertwodaysofself-criticism and trying to figure out my next step, I’m yet to decide on anything. I lay awake at night grappling with the decision of canceling my deal with Felicity.
Eli has been sulking, I can perceive fear in his eyes each time I talk about Felicity. I can tell his behavior is not him being spiteful. He’s just scared that things might be different between us when Felicity moves into our home.
