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“Tough crowd.” He chuckled. “Okay, when I was little, I wanted to be an ice cream truck driver.”
She burst into laughter. Of all the things he could have said, that was the very last thing she would have guessed. “Seriously?”
He grinned back at her. “Come on, Alex, it’s notthatfunny. But think about it. What could be a cooler job than that? Really. All the ice cream you could eat, sitting right there at your disposal? Check. Driving an awesome truck that played awesome music? Double check. Being the most popular person in town? The guy who causes kids to literally lose their freakin’ minds when you drive down their street? Triple check.”
She tried to control her laughter. She really did. But he was too much. Too cute. Too everything.
He sighed. “Hey, it sounded like a win-win situation to me at the time.”
“Ah, you crack me up.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “You’re right, though. When you put it that way, being an ice cream truck driver would be the best job ever. It definitely makes a lot of sense to a kid. But instead, you joined the FBI with your best friend, and then became sheriff of the town you grew up in.”
He stared at her for a second. The air around them grew heavier. “Yeah. It’s funny where you end up, isn’t it?”
“I’ll say,” she murmured.
Her heart hurt for that little girl who’d wanted to be a ballerina-superhero. She had been so happy and secure. She’d had a wonderful childhood. Parents who’d not only loved and supported her, but also each other. There had been no violence in her home. At all. And she could count on one hand how many times her parents had raised their voices at each other.
She was an example of how domestic abuse could happen toanyone—not just those who had grown up in the abuse cycle.
Her eyes met Quinn’s, and resolve filled her.
She wanted him to understand, wanted him to know she truly was trying to move forward with her life. Especially since that life could possibly include him.
Yeah, she was probably jumping the gun big-time, but she no longer cared. And while her situation was beyond complicated, she wanted to trust him. If anything, they were friends. Beyond that... who knew?
As he sat there quietly, waiting for her to choose where the conversation went next, she called on the tenuous thread of hope inside her. She met his gaze, deep gray eyes that held no judgment, and took that step.
“It’s strange, Quinn,” she said at last. “It really is.”
“How so, sweetheart?”
“It’s like...” She hesitated, searching for words. “Like the last five years of my life happened to someone else. I grew up with loving, regular, middle-class parents. I was a regular, middle-class kid who idolized her big sister and dreamed of becoming a ballerina-superhero. I played soccer on the weekends. Took ballet and swimming lessons. Sold wrapping paper, candy bars, and Girl Scout cookies to all my neighbors every year. I was taught to respect myself and to respect others.”
She shook her head, mystified. “When I look back at my life with Preston... at how I was and how I allowed myself to be treated—and how I’mstillafraid of him—I just can’t explain it.”
“How did you two meet?” Quinn’s voice was low and soothing. He continued massaging her feet.
“I was twenty-five and on my way to a job interview with his boss, the mayor,” she said. “I literally ran into him and spilled my coffee all over him. He was really nice about it, and I’m embarrassed to say that he completely dazzled me. He was a handsome guy. I suppose, technically, he still is. Physically, anyway. He has these beautiful blue eyes that just make you want to trust him.”
Rolling a strand of hair through her fingers, she continued, “At the time, he was everything I was striving to be. I wanted to be involved in politics. Not necessarily as a politician, mind you, but I wanted to be surrounded by them. The whole circus of government fascinated me. Preston was the city’s deputy mayor and an up-and-coming political figure, so when he took an interest inme—little old me—it seemed too good to be true.”
She looked down at her hands in her lap. She knew hindsight made everything clear, but she still felt like an idiot. A naïve, stars-in-her-eyes idiot.
“When I got the position with the mayor, suddenly I had this exciting job and life was great. Then Preston and I started dating, and he swept me off my feet. Yeah, I thought it was a little strange at first, considering our age difference. I mean, what did a twenty-five-year-old from the suburbs have in common with someone who was forty-one and a member of one of Boston’s oldest political families? But hey, I trusted him. Believed in him completely. If he said everything was fine, then things were fine. I was a sucker and drank the Kool-Aid. Hell, Imadeextra batches of the Kool-Aid.”
She’d been such a wide-eyed, gullible fool.
“I think, deep down, I truly believed he was better than me. And that was the opening he needed. Within months, we got married. I stopped working, and before I knew it, I’d lost contact with my family and friends. And myself, I suppose. Then all hell broke loose.”
Quinn’s grip on her feet tightened ever so slightly.
She sighed in dismay. “I don’t think you can understand how strange it is to hear myself say these things. To know that all that”—she waved her hand around— “actually happened to me.Me. That Iallowedit all to happen. It’s so surreal. And honestly, if it weren’t for this baby, I would believe it was all a horrendous nightmare. I can’t even begin to explain it.”
“Alex, sweetheart, you don’t have to explain anything.”
“I feel like I do.” Her lips pursed in frustration. “Ineedto. Because it doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, maybe you’ll learn more about how it happened if you look at how it ended.” His gray eyes were intense, challenging her to tell him more. “Was there something that made you say, ‘Enough’?”
